I am Hinata Hyuuga
by heavenlyhuntress
Summary: ღ Complete. Spoiled. Actress. Rich. Bratty. These are the words both her roommate and cousin would describe her. What went wrong? Love was clearly in the air, yet it all seemed to evaporate so quickly... xSasuke-Hinatax•ღ
1. Act I: The Curtain Rises

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Act I - The Curtain Rises**

**X**xxxxx

_Narrated by Hinata Hyuuga - 15 years old_

**X**xxxxx

I was going to be Neji Hyuuga tomorrow.

Black shirt and tight black pants, check. Sandals, check. Long hair, check. Conceited attitude, check.

I glanced into the mirror, outwardly sneering, inwardly wincing. Inside I shuddered.

Yes, there it was, the spitting image of my arrogant cousin. In the flesh, every last strand of silky brown hair carefully arranged in place.

Hah. Hair that wasn't mine. I fingered the expensively dyed extensions, hating how it ultimately contrasted with my otherwise raven, shoulder length croppy hair.

How does he take care of this? I wondered, before a stentorian voice screeched, "Hurry up, Hinata! You're too slow!" My little sister – she'll be the closest definition of _annoying_ anyone will ever find.

"I'm coming," I sighed; as she threw open my bedroom door.

Surprise shone plainly on her face, and then understanding. "Karu wanted you to practice being Neji again?"

I put on a large blue jacket in front of the black uniform and placed a large green cap over my hair, covering it completely. "Yeah," I replied curtly. "Let's go."

A feeling of dread wormed its sneaky way back into my stomach. I felt like throwing up.

I leaned out the window of the sophisticated baby blue car, loving how the wind brushed against my cheeks. In a flash the green cap was ripped off by the wind, and the long brown locks entered the breeze.

"Hinata!" reprimanded my sister, scowling and digging her way into the trunk for another hat.

"Relax," soothed Karu, his fingers tapping patiently on the driver's wheel. "It's no big deal."

No big deal? I wondered, rubbing the fabric of the hat – red with two feathers – against my fingers. This was clearly expensive fabric, clearly from the money my mother graciously threw everywhere.

She is – was – an actress. A very good one, with those piercing, scrutinizing gray eyes that I've inherited. She has – had – a stunning personality, one generously benevolent – and a slow, large smile that I also have, though I don't use it nearly as much as she does – did.

She's dead, died when I was ten. I can't remember much, can't recall, don't want to. She's gone. Period. That's all there is to it. Clean, incisive cut, straight into the middle of my heart.

And she has left me in hell, clawing uselessly, in the world of acting.

**X**xxxxx

"Hinata!" called someone for the third time today. Kasumi ran across the lawn with two more figures in tow – both thin and pretty. Ino and TenTen. "Wait up."

I smiled sadly. "I've _been_ waiting."

They crushed me in a huge group hug. "I can't believe you're going," murmured TenTen, but it's Kasumi whose eyes were studded with tears. She was always the most sympathetic, the most sentimental.

"You can't go!" announced Ino, dragging me up to her house. "I'll kidnap you and – "

I laughed, but half-heartedly, my tears threatening to overflow as soon as we reached Ino's house; her home. It's where I became friends with them – bests. It's where I worked with homework. It's where I slept over. It's where I studied, where I cried over boys. At the young age of fifteen, I'd had at least two heartfelt – at least, it had felt so real then – crushes that had disappeared in flames.

It's where…_my_ home is, practically.

I have no father. He's abandoned me, went to somewhere stupid and shabby where only assholes like him mope around. I live with my sister and my manager, Karu. He's nice when you get used to the smoking.

The fourth time today; "Hinata!" It was my sister, annoyed as usual, _annoying_, as usual. "You don't have time to boo hoo! We've got to go!"

I looked at my friends with genuine, unstoppable tears. They're the dam when the river threatens to flood. They're my solace, my inner peace, when I'm too angry to sort things out with myself.

They're my life.

TenTen slipped me a piece of paper. "My phone number," she whispered, trying to smile.

We crowded around, promising this and that. In my heart I know things won't ever be the same ever again.

I waved, blinking, and entered the prison of the sleek car. It zoomed away, and my friends were reduced to pinpricks, mere shadows of who they really were.

They don't know I'm an actress. Hell, _I _don't know if I'm an actress. The one secret they don't know is, ironically, the thing that is keeping me away from them.

**X**xxxxx

At the mall...

We bought makeup. We bought school supplies. We bought things like hair spray and tampons (Karu turned slightly red). We bought boys' boxers. We bought socks, mittens, scarves, even though it was fall.

What's the use? Next weekend we'll just be shopping again.

Ever since I've been whisked into the world of acting, I've started to become more secluded. It's hell, acting is – and I've only practiced.

It's still practice starting tomorrow. Practicing to be the new guy before really acting. I yawned, stuffing my face into my silk pillow.

"I'm ready for the makeup!" yelled Karu. "Are you almost done yet? There's only half an hour left!"

"Damn it!" I shrieked. "Give me a break! At least twenty more minutes for a freaking shower!"

I undressed, took the shower, and redyed my hair brown. Uncomfortably I wrapped a piece of cloth around my chest tightly, and slip on boxers that were too large. I dressed with speed, hurrying to wear the all-black and shiny uniform. Afterwards I stared at myself into the mirror, into my pearl-grey eyes. "I'm not Hinata anymore" is all I need to whisper.

In an instant I'm Neji Hyuuga.

"Ready?" called out Karu. "I've already dropped off Hanabi at her school! Hurry, just for this once!"

"I'm coming!" I snapped, and rush downstairs, hair billowing, and sat down at the cosmetics table. Karu rearranged a few powders and started to apply it to my face. Boyish outlook, the nickname was, that he gave it. Boys tended to have rougher skin and deeper eyes.

When he was finished, I looked every bit of boy as a...well, a boy. Neji, to be exact. Dark, smooth hair. Light eyes. High cheekbones.

I grinned to myself inside. If my friends ever found out they'd be shrieking their heads off right now, freaking out.

We arrived at the school where students were milling around. As soon as they saw us, an excited murmur swept through the crowd.

"Aw, crap," I muttered, facing Karu, who had a cigarette twirled around his fingers. "Did you _have_ to drive _this car_?!"

He shook his head, smiling slightly, and ushered me on.

I grimaced, took my school bag, and stepped outside. Automatically the sun hit my face, and I squinted.

I walked on, trying not to notice everybody staring blatantly. Idiots, I thought, and then noticed something.

_Everyone..._they're all _guys_ here!

I nearly had a heart attack right then and there. All male boarding school? I nearly screamed. What was Karu _thinking_?! This was just so - agh, stupid! I couldn't act here. My disguise would be obvious! I -

The crowd pushed me forward, and I tried to stifle the urge to cry. We stopped at a large auditorium where a teacher in two pigtails stood.

"Listen!" she roared, her voice extraodinarily large for one single woman, "It's important for you all to choose roommates right now! Last year, it was chaos and rumors. This year we're doing it clean."

A buzz went through the crowd. Choosing our own...?

"All partners will not be co-ed!" she spoke into the microphone.

...Co-ed? I glanced around, almost stepping on someone's toes in the process. The whole other side was filled with girls in black uniforms as well. They were giggling at something or the other. I fought the urge to panic, in this crowd of boys.

Ever since my first crushes, I had resolved to be with boys as little as possible. It was just too hurtful, how they led you on and crashed the relationship with a few words. Akira had actually wanted my money, and Kenji, my reputation.

I nearly fainted with relief just then. Maybe I could make friends here -

"What do you think you're doing?" inquired a voice behind me. I felt my foot slide down a few inches. Oh. I had stepped on his foot.

I turned around to give a hasty apology when I found myself staring into the depths of black, moonless eyes. I gulped.

"Checking out the girls already, huh." I blinked, and realized that he was sneering, his face looking just like how his voice might sound.

"I'm _not_," I replied sharply, and forced myself to stare away from his smooth, handsome, dare-devilish face. I still felt his gaze penetrating on my back.

The teacher handed out slips of paper. "Actually," she announced loudly, smirking, "You _aren't_ exacty choosing. Put your name," she said, whacking a boy who had blond hair, "on it, and we'll draw them out randomly."

I sighed, hating this.

"Got it?"

"Hai, Tsunade," droned the students.

When it was my turn I instinctively started on the "H" and "i", and then realized. I blushed vainly at my own foolishness and scribbled it out. A tap on my shoulder; I turned around.

There stood that boy again, smirking as ever. "Can't spell your own name?" he taunted. I turned around again, angry.

_Neji Hyuuga_. That felt so alien, writing down a cousin who I hadn't seen in - what was it, twelve years? I didn't know him at all.

"Pass in your papers!"

I did so. The teacher - principal, I later came to know - placed the girls' papers in one box and the boys, another. "I will draw out two names at a time," she proclaimed. "Let's start with the boys."

A few whines emitted from the girls.

"That's sexist!" a pink-haired one argued. She looked the type that was sweet and innocent until a unsuspecting boy came along. "It's not fair!"

Tsunade ignored her. Reaching in the boys, she caught two slips of paper between her index finger and thumb. "Naruto Uzumaki and Shino Aburame."

The blond boy she had whacked earlier jumped up excitedly. He looked around eagerly, getting the keys to Room 101.

"Kiba Inuzuka and Shikamaru Nara."

A boy with a dog on his head stood up gamely. So did a boy with a pineapple on his head - wait, no, that was his hair.

"Sasuke Uchiha and Chiyo Tamaka."

Another female teacher who had short black hair and high, high heels whispered in the principal's ear. Tsunade nodded in a slightly embarrassed way, speaking into the mike again, "I put a girl's paper accidentally in the boy's box..."

She placed the paper with "Chiyo Tamaka" into the girls' box. "The new roommate will be..."

She fished out another paper, one that had erase marks on it. I - that was -

"Neji Hyuuga."

My eyes widened. That was _me_. Who was...Sasuke?

Beside me, the boy who had earlier talked to me shifted slightly as he raised his hand. I swallowed. _Him_? Out of all the jerks in this school, I was stuck with the jerkiest? My luck is - no; I have no luck!

"Neji Hyuuga?" inquired the principal once again.

A burst of anger flooded my mind. I hated this. I _hated this!_

I stood up defiantly, "I'm not going to be paired with _him!"_ I despised everyone who stared at me.

Tsunade acknowledged me as a nuisance. "Catch," she said with a hint of steely boredom in her voice, as if she'd seen this millions of times. I caught the keys. My knees felt weak, and I sat down, not hearing the rest of the partners.

Sasuke glared at me, and my anger crumpled. His eyes were icy. "I'm not too enthusiastic, myself," he growled.

She rallied off the boys names. "All done," she said, and then turned to the girls' box. "Before I announce the girls' names, I need for the boys to go to their rooms to check if their keys work."

Three lines formed as we trickled out the auditorium and up a small set of stairs. _Boy_ - pun intended - it was roomy here! They don't call it expensive for nothing. I remembered, guiltily, at shouting at Karu in the morning. He was my manager, always taking care of small things. I shouldn't have yelled at him.

I entered the key into the door, Room 103, and then I felt a shadow behind me.

Sasuke glared at me. "Hurry up."

Fury spouted in my words as I shot back, "I will when I feel like it! _Make_ me."

His mouth tightened, and he turned me around menacingly. His clenched fists unclenched as he pushed my chest roughly. I stumbled, my elbow twisted beneath me, and looked up at him through my now messy hair.

"Stay out of my way."

My shoulders throbbed as I stared at him furiously. "You freaking_ pervert_!" I spat out, my body against the wall. My palms were sweaty. "Don't touch me!"

Sasuke stared at me like I had sprouted two heads. Alarm entered my mind like a clanging bell_. I had just acted - like a _girl!

His brows furrowed and his eyebrows rose, a mingled look of disgust and shock etched on his face. He then quicky regained his cold composure, ignoring me instead, and pushing open the door.

I was still half-standing in the doorway, chest heaving. _Dang, that hurt!_

One thing was certain, I thought as I gingerly entered the spacious room.

This is turning into a hell of a hell.

* * *

**That's my first chapter! I never thought I'd write something like this. Please review and tell me if I should continue.**

**December 29 - Sorry! Did you notice anything different in the name drawings, AestheticPhobia? XD If you see any more mistakes, feel free to tell me about it!!**

**Edit: 3/15/08**

**Edit: 3/23/08 - changed dashes into xxx's.**


	2. Act II: Sasuke and Sakura

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope I get more. This is probably a shorter chapter but I worked harder.**

Possibly pairings? Sasuke/Hinata, Neji/Hinata, Sasuke/Sakura, Naruto/Hinata, and many others!

It isn't rated T for nothing (,"), **

* * *

****I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Act II - Sasuke and Sakura**

**X**xxxxx

_Naruto is 16 years old_

**X**xxxxx

By the time the girls had also checked their rooms it was time for lunch, though it was really late compared to the time on the schedule; 12:20.

Right now it was 1:30.

My stomach wasn't even empty yet; I wasn't hungry at all, though.

Lunch lasted an hour, to my surprise and utmost relief. In my other school it was 45 minutes.

"You're the new guy, aren't you?" inquired a blond buy. He had an overachieving name tag that positively screamed, "NARUTO UZUMAKI! THE NEXT MOVIE STAR."

"You can come sit with us."

My gaze traveled over to a table that was tightly packed. I felt butterflies - a startling sensation, though not altogether unpleasant - travel to my stomach.

Sasuke's raven hair.

"Thank Kami-sama that lunch and classes are co-ed," Naruto said, grinning and leading the way. I agreed with him, but for a completely different reason. That was obvious.

Naruto balanced his tray carefully with three whopping bowls of ramen. Loaded with swirling narutos.

I felt the butterflies in my stomach die and decompose. "Are you - are you _really_ planning to - to eat th - that?!"

He peered at me, confused. "Yeah. So? Why are you stammering like a girl?"

A frustrated blush touched my cheeks. "I'm not!" I snapped.

We arrived just when the pink-haired girl did. I watched as she snaked her arms around Sasuke's shoulders and whispered something close to his ear.

I felt Naruto stiffen beside me. "They've got to do that in public," he muttered, and pulled a chair in for me.

I thanked him and tried to tear my eyes away from the couple. Blushing, I started on my small sandwich as they began to kiss. The tuna tasted horribly.

"Yo," rang a bored voice, full of authority. I glanced up - it was the pineapple-haired guy. "We're eating lunch here," he added pointedly.

"Oh, shut up, Shikamaru," pouted the pink-haired girl. "Don't be that way."

I don't think Sasuke saw the Look that she gave Shikamaru - a wink and a slight scowl on her lips. Inwardly I shuddered, trying not to feel jealous.

_Jealous?!_

"Hey, aren't you Neji Hyuuga?" asked a boy's voice suddenly. The table grew quiet in an instant. My cheeks flushed. Instinctively I reached for my neck to feel my short hair but when I touched it, it wasn't mine.

I looked down.

"H-hai."

"Really? The Hyuuga prodigy?" When I failed to respond he, instead, continued, "Sasuke here is also a prodigy. You guys could fight some day! That would be awesome, eh, Sasuke?"

He didn't reply but, unlike me, turned to glare at him. Only when I finally looked up did I realize it was the bold boy with the dog on his head who had broached the topic.

"This pie is delicious!" said someone right in the middle of an uncomfortable silence.

A guy with fat swirls on his cheeks had a staggering mound of cherry pie. I thought cherry pies were only supposed to have one maraschino cherry on top but his had at least fifteen.

He stared around, still intent on his food. "What? It is!"

Shikamaru sighed, and looked my way. "As usual," he droned, "Chouji loves food. He's obsessed with it. If you knew him - "

"Neji obviously doesn't!" Naruto cut in. Then he looked excited. "We could introduce ourselves to him. He's the new guy!" Stares penetrated my force field.

I gulped.

So Naruto wasn't exactly the smartest guy alive, hm...?

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" he introduced with much vigor. "I like ramen, um..." His eyes slid over a few seats where a pink-haired girl was sitting with her arms wrapped around Sasuke's waist. With speed Naruto changed his topic.

"That's basically all. I don't like..." His eyes slid again over a few seats where a dark-haired boy was kissing - and attempted to try another angle.

" - U - um..." I felt really sorry for the poor guy.

"And when I'm older I'll be a movie star!"

Shikamaru picked up right away, cleverly, apparently noticing Naruto's discomfort.

"I'm Shikamaru Nara, as you probably know by now." His dark eyes stared into mine, and I was astonished that there was friendliness in them. I found myself smiling to his.

"I like playing shogi and checkers. I dislike everything else." He yawned. "Oh, and my hobby is sleeping."

My smile turned into a grin.

"I'm N-neji Hyuuga." Quickly I tried stopping my stutter by glancing around with a slight smile. "Um, I like - " Suddenly the thought struck me I _was_, in fact, acting _Neji Hyuuga_.

I stopped still in my tracks, racking my brain thinking what he'd like to do. "I like - I like - I - "

He was a boy! Think, think! What do boys do??

They were all staring at me expectantly. "Um..."

Boys?! Hobbies...

Um...boys like girls...

_No duh, Hinata! Think!!_

"Um...I like peeping at girls!" I spat out, suddenly relieved. _That wasn't too bad, was it?_

They all stared at me.

The blood rushed rapidly to my cheeks as it hit me what I'd said. "I - " Damn it! They thought I was a freaking pervert!

Then Sakura started laughing, her laugh sounding like tiny bells jingling gently together. "Hah! That's funny!" she giggled, flashing me a white smile.

The others smiled also - the ice was broken, thinking it was a joke. I gulped and tried to grin nonchalantly, but I was sweating.

_Kami-sama,_ I prayed. _Please please please make me disappear right now!_

She wasn't in.

I spent the rest of the lunch biting a tuna sandwich with a mortified red face.

Next period was Kakashi's speech class. According to Naruto, last year we didn't do anything but arm wrestle in Kakashi's class because he'd been reading the whole time.

I breathed.

Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all. School didn't last that long. I checked my schedule that Shizune - the assistant - had passed out int he auditorium.

**X**xxxxx

**Konoha Boarding School**

-Monday to Friday, excluding Wednesday-

Wakeup time: 9:00

Breakfast: 9:10 - 9:40

First period: 10:00-12:10 - _I had gym class. Last year I hated it._

Lunch: 12:20 - 1:30

Third period - 1:40 - 3:00 - _Kakashi's speech class. Preparing for leadership roles, I suppose._

Fourth - 3:15 - 6:30 - _This was the longest period; gym class._

Dinner - 6:50 - 8:00

Free time - 8:00 - 9:45

Before bed - 9:45 - 10:30

Lights out - 10:45

**X**xxxxx

"Crap, it's a lenient schedule!" I said aloud. In my other school...

Where was Kakashi's speech class? Room Fifty Two? I had no idea!

I walked around, studying the map of the school when I bumped into something hard. In a flash I was on the floor, my foot hurting like crazy.

"Clumsy," snarled a voice I knew all too well. Sasuke was standing over me, his hands crossed to his chest. He looked...intimidating.

"You're the crazy one," I muttered. He glared at me but I wasn't afraid. Here was the guy who kissed in public. He was bold and obviously didn't think much of others. I didn't want to be stepped on, treated like dirt.

"Hn." Surprised, I felt my anger deflate as he stayed silent. Then - "Where are you looking for?"

"Ka-kashi's speech cl - "

"I'm going there, too."

He turned and walked away without another word. I scrambled up, the heel still very sore.

I thought of telling him to wait, but then decided I didn't want to hear his voice again. It gave me the creeps.

He led the way to a small corridor. I strained my neck slightly, and then realized - it was a dead end! I looked at Sasuke automatically for an explanation, hating myself for wasting so much time.

"Where are you - aah!"

I felt a rough hand push me to the wall.

Sasuke's face came close to mine. "I don't want you bothering my life," he hissed, instantly hostile. I shivered slightly.

"I wasn't! I - "

"Don't talk about it. Stay out of my way! You're annoying." With that he let go, pushing me away.

I massaged my right shoulder. His grip was strong and it was tender. "I..." I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just stumbled away.

A sick feeling of dread started in my stomach again, but crawled to my throat. I felt like throwing up.

I spotted Room Fifty Two, a very large one in the middle of the freaking hallway. It was here all this time!

I felt so stupid. I slid in.

To my surprise it was only 1:38. Dang it! Inwardly I cursed myself, reminding that there was free time before each period.

"I'm Kakashi," the teacher said just said the clock hit 1:39.

"Hey!" called out the pink-haired girl. I hated her voice. It was so annoying, cutting into everything. "There's still one minute left!"

The teacher sighed and took out his book.

The clock hit 1:40 just as a dark shadow slid in. _Sasuke_... so he _hadn't_ lied when he said that this was his next period.

I gulped, avoiding any eye contact. My heel and shoulder still ached, reminding me of his encounter just a few minutes ago. I looked down.

"Okay, class!" announced Kakashi, rather enthusiastically for one who was obsessed with his book. He continued reading while speaking, "Introduce yourselves to each other."

"I'll go first!" answered Sakura loudly, grinning. She sat in a circle of desks, facing me. She winked and I felt my lunch threatening to worm its way back up my esophagus.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. I love - " She glanced around seductively. "I like _boys_." She giggled and quite a few male members of the class blushed. "That's all!"

"Very well," said Kakashi in a bored tone, but I noticed he was staring at her in a corner of his eye. Idly I wondered if he was a pervert.

"I'll pick who goes next!" she announced with a flourish, and suddenly my throat went totally dry. I willed myself not to look at her.

"Sasuke!" she squealed, pointing at him. He was only a few seats away from me. I felt his elbow shift slightly.

"I hate all things pink," he muttered, and Sakura shot him a hurtful glare. He glared back.

Doubt twisted in my heart. Hadn't they just been kissing at lunch like there was no tomorrow? "There aren't much things I like," he continued, twisting his pencil between his long slim fingers.

He set it down. "My favorite color...is black."

My heart thumped for no particular reason. My favorite color was black too...so was my mom's. Tears sprang to my eyes at the thought of her.

Sasuke chose this unholy moment to turn toward me. His eyes widened a fraction - but only a fraction - when he saw my tears. He looked away, and closed his mouth.

I felt grateful, and tried to blink my tears away.

"Next," cut in Kakashi in a bored voice. His nose was deep in the book. "Chouji Akimichi."

It started again; the whole pie thing.

I tuned out and lay my head on the table.

**X**xxxxx

The next period - it was dinner. Lunch had been much later than expected, so they'd canceled gym class. I hated gym class. Oh well. Torture for another day, I reflected.

"Spaghetti?" asked the old lady who spooned food into trays.

"Um...sure."

Once again, Naruto was toward the front of the line with a heaping pile of ramen. My mouth went dry from looking at it.

"Thank you," called the cashier lady, and she put my thousand dollar check into my account, giving me a once-over as she did so.

_Yes,_ _I _know_ I'm rich_, I felt like saying, but bit back my retort.

I set down the tray - it was hot! - quickly at the lunch table and turned away -

"Where are you going?" asked Naruto, his mouth stuffed with noodles.

"To the restroom. I'm going to wash my hands," I explained. It _was_ sort of obvious...

He blinked. "Really? You must be a stickler for being clean!" he exclaimed, surprised. "I thought only girls did things like that."

It was a good thing he didn't notice my blush.

I walked my way through he various tables, into the small lighted hallway. The girls' room was right there - I had half a mind to open it, but then I realized...

Shaking my head and smiling slightly to my ignorance, I turned left to the boy's room.

And stopped in my tracks.

Sasuke had Sakura pressed against the wall and they were kissing. Hard.

* * *

**Edit: 3/23/08**


	3. Act III: Party

**I changed the schedule for the boarding school. It's Monday to Friday now, excluding Wednesday, which is break day.**

**Also, I'm sorry if the last chapters were short. This one is longer. (,"),**

**P.S.: I'MDISCLAIMINGI'MDISCLAIMINGI'MDISCLAIMINGI'MDISCLAIMING!!**

**Not mine, not yours, but Masashi Kishimoto's. **

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Act III - Party**

**X**xxxxx

_Sasuke is 16 years old_

**X**xxxxx

I stared blindly at them for second, frozen. I could have sworn that Sasuke saw me in the corner of his eye, but that didn't matter.

I turned and fled.

**X**xxxxx

Since today - Tuesday - was the first day, we were sent home early at 3:00 in the afternoon, not spending the night. "Besides," Tsunade had called out, "We still have to clean some of the rooms."

At 2:45, I was getting my book bag from the room. I decided to leave my toiletries in the bathroom, wrapped in a tight bundle with my hair-dye. I didn't need it - I had another bottle of dye at home.

I heard the key turn, and in stepped Sasuke.

Surprise flooded my senses; I'd forgotten there were _two_ keys, one for each person.

He didn't say anything, usually taciturn as usual. But from the last encounter he'd be like a bomb, exploding at the last second.

It was true; as I walked past him his hand reached out and grabbed my wrist. I stared up at him, almost cringing. What's wrong with this guy?!

"I know, he whispered, and in the dark room I could feel my heart racing. What did he know? _Did he know that...that I was a girl?_ "...that you're new. He paused. I couldn't see his expression. "But apparently most people...like you."

I breathed slowly, trying to collect it all. "Um...what - "

"Shut up!" he said tersely through clenched teeth, and then added, in a softer tone, "Let me continue."

I waited.

All of a sudden he sighed and let of of my wrist. His hand went to his hair much like mine always did.

"Look. It's - " His tone colored angrily, but it was self-frustration. "Never mind!" He dropped a piece of paper in my hands and walked further in to get his backpack. I didn't move.

After a few seconds I assumed he had nothing more to say. Clutching the paper tightly, I turned the door knob and opened the door.

"It's a party," he called lightly after me. I stopped. "And don't wear the uniform." At that he concluded, "You can go now."

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out, studying the black, no-nonsense letters.

**Party - Sasuke Uchiha**

**When: 7-11 today**

**Where: 152 Sharingan Street. **

**Take a left from the school. **

**Fifth house to the right.**

**Parent supervision.**

**X**xxxxx

At home I showed the note to Hanabi. She was at a public school and had no idea how lucky she was.

She glanced at my letter and positively beamed.

"Already?" she squealed. "You must be popular!"

"Popular indeed," I said tightly in a dry voice, trying to grab back the paper.

"You should go as a girl!"

"H-what?!" I stopped and stared at her. She was completely serious "N-no damn way! Are you serious?"

"No - listen!" She gave me a piercing look that made me uncomfortable. "Is this Sasuke guy popular?"

"I - uhm, yes...So?"

She handed me back the paper, grinning. "He won't find out then. There'll probably be lots of girls there! You'll mingle. Go as a girl, Hinata!" I glared at her. "No - I'm serious! You're going to amaze everyone! After all - _don't_ look away, Hinata; it's a good idea - you have a fantastic wardrobe!"

Her eyes were shining breathlessly.

I turned away from her. "N. O."

"Oh, come on, Oneechan!" she insisted, pulling my arm. "What _else_ are you going to wear, anyway?"

I halted to reconsider. "I'm going as a _boy_," I said slowly, ignoring her look. "And _you're_ practically a tomboy..."

She understood, and gave me a disgusted look, letting go of my arm. "It's a freaking party! You've got to go as your _gender!"_

Hah. I am so not going a a girl. "Let me see your closet."

"Agh! No way."

"Hanabi...!"

After five more minutes of pointless arguing she finally relented. I stepped into her unbearably clean room and dove into her closet.

There were only five dresses (compared to my fifteen or so) and bunches of T-shirts and jeans.

"You're so lucky you get to go to a public school," I sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing." I chose a dark blue T-shirt and loose jeans. I knew that they'd make me look absolutely atrocious but it was better than wearing a tight dress.

Besides, being a boy was better - in terms of comfort.

**X**xxxxx

I timidly stepped out of the car, my arms carrying a large box of Swedish chocolates. "Hope they like the gift," Karu said, grinning, before pulling away. I smiled and waved, though my heart was beating three times the average rate, and climbed the intimidating steps to the huge white stucco house.

The paper had said... "Parent Supervision." So...

I'd had about thirty to fifty parties a year. They were all very mild, colleagues of my mom, and we didn't discuss much. Very proper of course...hors de'voures and champagne, but only enough to satisfy half of my hunger.

With parents, the party would be a lot safer. I wondered...

The door opened and I was blasted with confetti in my face. The box was wrenched out of my grasp and I nearly fell off the stairs.

"Wha - what?!"

A bunch of girls stood in the foyer dressed in clothes that seemed to have jumped off a fashion magazine. "Sorry!" apologized one of the girls. She had multiple piercings on her ears. "Um...we thought you were Naruto...or someone..."

"I - "

I was pulled in by a blonde. I vaguely recognized her from boarding school. She shut the door firmly behind me. "What did you bring, Neji?" she asked in a coy tone.

"Um...chocolates..."

"Really?!" She eagerly opened the box. Her eyes almost bugged out. "Swedish? You brought Swedish chocolates? Dang, you're rich!" She popped one in her mouth, smiling. My throat felt dry.

The door opened behind me and a dark haired, tall guy that looked about eighteen stepped in. "Hey, honey," he murmured to one of the girls. They embraced.

I looked away, feeling that my stomach had been left far, far away. "Um...where is...?"

"...Sasuke?" inquired the blonde, standing up. She pointed down the hall. "Somewhere. Making out, probably."

I paused, confused, a very bad feeling in my chest. "Wasn't he...Sakura...?"

"Nah. They broke up today." She grinned and pulled closer.

"I'd better..." Hurriedly I rushed off. Somehow I felt like crying. I didn't want to be here. I didn't think...I didn't know. I wanted out of here. Maybe I could explain to Sasuke...wasn't he the host?

I saw him. He was sitting at a table on the deck chatting to other people. There were bottles, opened bottles, on the table.

My breath left me as I stepped out onto the deck. My senses swirled.

I had never been in any situation like this before. I'd always been pampered, yes, but also with safety...I'd never, I'd never -

"Neji?" It was his voice. with difficulty I wrenched my eyes up to his. My voice quavered.

"Um..."

"What's wrong?" asked a girl. It was Sakura. The wind was blowing softly through her hair. "Need a drink?"

"I - n-no - "

"Come on." She stood up and grabbed a bottle of beer from the carton. Sasuke's gaze left mine and he continued to talk with his friends.

I'd never felt so helpless before.

"N-no."

"Don't joke around. One sip won't hurt." Sakura smiled up at me. "Besides, afterward, we'll swim it off. See?" she pointed to a large, beautiful pool that connected with the deck. "We'll go swimming..._together_."

With difficulty I shook my head again. "No. I d-don't want to."

"Drink!" she ordered, pulling my hand to the edge of the deck. "You know you want to..."

Sasuke glanced over at me for an instant, and there was worry etched in his eyes. Then he saw Sakura and turned away.

"I - "

"Neji..." Her voice was almost seductive.

I pushed her away. "I don't want to!" I cried, taking a step back.

My foot met nothing. Suddenly I was twisting backwards, my foot slipping. Darkness engulfed my eyes, ears...I drew a long breath but found only water. I choked and choked until I couldn't stand it anymore.

Everything disappeared in an instant and I passed out.

**X**xxxxx

" - and he won't be -

" - another half an hour, maybe. But there's nothing wrong."

"Fatigued. I wonder what happened?"

"..." I opened my eyes and timidly drew a breath. To my relief it was air, not water. My body ached and my head hurt very, very badly.

The first thing I saw was black. Then it gradually became colorful figures - Sasuke. Naruto...Chouji. Shikamaru...

I coughed.

"Don't move!" ordered Naruto, his eyes brimming with excitement. "You're fine."

A nurse hurried out, carrying a large clipboard. "I hope it doesn't hurt too much," she murmured kindly. "You're fine now. You fainted because of lack of oxygen."

"I - where a-am I?" I stammered. I felt like crying. I needed Karu and Hanabi for comfort.

"Konoha boarding school," said a clipped tone - Tsunade. "We've phoned your family so they know." Her eyes were gentle as she looked own at me. Then she turned to the boys, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! A PARTY WITH NO PARENT SUPERVISION AND A POOL?! IT'S A WONDER ONLY ONE PERSON GOT HURT!"

"My apologies," muttered Sasuke. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have - "

"I'll tell your parents for this!" blew up Tsunade, but she was slightly calmer. "Imagine the dangers! He could have gotten _killed_, he could have gotten _stitches_! You were lucky this time." She breathed. "And don't think I'm not going to tell you parents."

She walked out the room, muttering something dark.

"At least she didn't find out about the drinking?" suggested Naruto. Sasuke gave him a glare.

"I - " At once all eyes were fixed on me. I blushed, much to my horror. "A-ano...what t-time is it?"

"It's twelve o'clock," answered Shikamaru, running a hand through his hair worriedly. "I've got to go home soon."

"Same," chorused Naruto and Chouji. They stood up.

"A-as long as you're fine, Neji," Naruto said, his enthusiasm gone. He looked at me with anxiety. "It was scary...you looked...well, dead. Sorry for not helping you out."

"T-there was nothing you could do," I replied simply. I still couldn't believe what had happened.

They left, and I was left with Sasuke.

He stood up, but he didn't leave

"First of all, I'm sorry."

In my heart he was forgiven but I still remembered, in my minds' eye, the look of indifference at the party. He didn't help me. He could have.

"It's stupid." He sighed and sat down again, stiffly. Silence ensued until he spoke up again, "It's just so stupid, you know? I'm screwed up. Underage drinking, having girlfriends who I don't even like, holding a party while my parents are away...I'm messed up."

He was speaking almost to himself, holding his head in his hands.

"The truth is...I...I don't hate you," he muttered. "You were the new boy. You were prim and proper and I was jealous. You had a family who cared. At least...you had that..."

"I..." I was shocked.

"Never mind." He stood up again, a new look on his face. I could describe it as determination. "I'm going to sleep at the school today. I hate sleeping in an empty house." he paused, shook his head slowly. "Feel welcome to take a shower in the nurses' room. You're the new guy, so..." There wasn't a smile on his face and his eyes weren't very friendly but I still felt gratitude.

He walked out before a word could escape my shivering lips.

I didn't move. "Sasuke..." I whispered through the blankets. I felt a stirring in my heart that I'd never felt before.

Then I realized that the covers were slightly wet.

"What?!" I was only wearing boxers and a T-shirt that revealed too much. Somehow the cloth over my chest had been weakened and now it hung limply. I smelled of a wet, dripping dog, wet still from the pool.

This wouldn't do.

Where was the shower? I wondered, forcing myself to pull the wet covers off. I couldn't believe this.

Grabbing a large towel from the stack and a T-shirt and clean long pajama pants that I assumed could be used, I stepped out, shivering, and wrapped the towel around me. Where was the shower? I turned around to look - it was large and white, with an opaque door.

I breathed a sigh of relief, exhausted.

The shower was easy to manipulate. It had two knobs - for hot and cold water. I quickly turned the hot water, and it came.

That felt soooooo good. My back felt extremely sore and I washed my hair, too, my good measure.

When I was done, dry, and warm, I slipped on the T-shirt and the pants, squeezing water out of my hair. I pulled the now-dry covers over my shoulders and smiled softly. _This day didn't end too badly_.

I just hoped that something like that would never happen ever again.

The digital clock read 5:35 when I woke up. There was a flash of realization, clear and horrible. _My hair was still wet._ My hair - my undyed hair - I reached up frantically and switched on the light.

_Crap!_

My hair was its usually serene, black color. It was long, but it wasn't the problem - _I'd left my dye in my room!_

I couldn't chance this! I couldn't. Another realization hit me.

_My makeup wasn't on for tomorrow._ That wasn't _too_ bad - I resembled Neji anyway in facial structure, but his eyebrows were plainly lower than mine, and his eyes, deeper set.

I had to grab this chance to sneak in to my room.

Cursing inwardly, I left the comfort of the warm bed and tiptoed out the nurse's door. My room, my room - where was it? I found it in the next hallway. To my utmost relief Sasuke hadn't locked it. I exhaled slowly, afraid but knowing I needed to do this.

Where was it? In the darkness I saw the night light that was in the bathroom. I'd left it there.

It's going to be okay, I thought, and sneaked in, spotting the bundle of toiletries by the sink. Hopefully -

The light snapped on and I felt something sharp next to my neck.

"Don't move," whispered Sasuke's voice, and my knees felt like buckling.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	4. Act IV: CUT! Yes, I'm a Girl

_Disclaimer of Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto. _

**Sorry if the last chapters seemed really really slow. And Neji is going to come in soon, too...on this chapter!! **

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Act IV – CUT! Yes, I'm a Girl**

**X**xxxxx

_Sakura is sixteen years old_

**X**xxxxx

A knife was pressed at my throat softly. I was shivering so bad I could cut myself.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" he inquired, bringing the knife closer. "I won't harm you if you answer."

"A-anyone but Neji," I gasped out without meaning to.

His grip tightened as he considered my words. "What – " Then Sasuke was forced back with a well-aimed kick. I massaged my throat, choking – but then a strong arm caught my waist and we were both falling back, back, back.

A jarring thump; he crashed into the shower wall, his shoulder pressed against the knob, and he slid down, his legs spread out on either side of me.

With difficulty he stood up again, pulling me roughly with him. Hot water was cascading down, but I shuddered, cold.

The knife was pressed at my neck once more. I backed against the fart wall, the water splashing through my clothes. The pajamas and the T-shirt clung to my skin.

An idea surfaced suddenly –

Sasuke was staring at me. "Who are you?" he murmured. There was a large bruise on the side of his face. He was wearing soaked black shorts and only a large jacket that looked like it had been carelessly thrown on.

I held up my arms to shoulder-level. "I'm Neji," I sighed, as if conquered. Hopefully all that acting practice would get me through this. "I – I was getting my hair dye."

His eyes narrowed.

"I – I dye my hair, see?" I indicated the long black locks. "It's – It's just a…thing I do."

Slowly I breathed out. I could fool him. It can't be that hard. I _did_ resemble the "Neji" I'd acted, obviously – I was the same heights, same weight…

He paused. His eyes were dark, unblinking as water streamed through his slicked down hair and onto his chest.

Reflexively I looked down, blushing. _Stupid girl, Hinata_! Boys – especially Neji – wouldn't do that!

Then I noticed something.

I wasn't wearing a bra and I'd torn off the limp bondages. My expression turned to one of horror. I glanced up, my face heated, praying –

He followed my gaze down. Then his face snapped back up, angrily red.

"Who the hell are you?!" Sasuke snarled. The knife punctured the side of my neck and my blood flowed freely with the hot water.

I winced.

"I can see that you're a _girl!"_ he hissed. "I'll ask one more time – _don't move!_ – who are you and what the _hell_ are you doing in my room!?"

I gulped, on thin ice.

It was over. Whatever answer I'd give him, I'd get in trouble. It wouldn't suffice. Everyone would find out. I'd be kicked out of school. I felt tears unconsciously running down my face. Or was it water?

_There's gotta be a way_, I prayed. _Kami…Kami, please._

Unexpectedly, the water suddenly turned ice cold. All the hot water had run out.

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly, taken aback, his grip loosening, and the knife was full two inches away from my neck.

_That's all I need_, I thought wildly. _Think, Hinata, think! _

Something to astonish him, to get me out of here.

I leaned forward with more confidence than I'd ever had, and my mouth connected with his.

The knife clattered to the floor.

Cold water made it a wet, wet kiss. I gave it everything I had.

Then I pushed him brutally away and got the hell out of there.

Run, _now_! My senses screamed. I made a sharp left on the carpet and out he door – it was so, so dark. _Damn it!_

Where to go…_where to go_? I placed my hands on the wall and shuffled sideways, trembling –

An iron hand gripped my wrist, so hard I thought my bones would snap. I turned around, terrified, and screamed. "Ah – mmph!" A large hand was placed over my mouth.

I kicked and struggled, and was dragged along like a limp fish.

"Don't – move!" he snarled through clenched teeth.

He dragged me along forcibly back into our room, locked the door, and turned on the lights.

He dropped me on the bed, his hand still covering my mouth.

"If you don't – scream," he whispered, "I'll let you go."

I nodded.

As soon as his hand was off I crawled under the covers with only my head out, and laid there, shivering.

He slumped down on a chair.

We were both spent, both in a standstill, an impasse. This was so…_sad_. I laughed feebly.

One side of his mouth quirked up into half a smirk.

A few minutes passed until his mouth opened. "Who are you?" he asked again, his curiosity piqued. "Who are you?" It was final. He was really expecting a truthful answer.

I sighed. I rolled over so I was facing him, defeated. "I am Hinata Hyuuga."

Sasuke's eyebrows rose. "You're acting to be…Neji…Hyuuga? As...a - boy?"

"Yes. I – I 'm an actress – well," I laughed derisively to myself. "Not really. I'm just practicing…so far."

He digested this silently, folding his hands across his chest. Finally he spoke. "I'm sorry, then."

"Why-why?"

"For pushing you that first time…"

I blushed. "Tha-that's okay."

It had been just yesterday, but it felt so long ago. I half sat up.

He stood. "Go get dressed and dye your hair and all that. I'm going home."

"What?"

"School starts at nine," he answered in a quiet voice, his hand on the doorknob. "You should phone your dad to take you home."

"Karu's not my dad," I started, but he was already out the door.

After resuming the "boyish outlook" again, I told the nurse that I'd be leaving, and yes, I felt fine, and no, I didn't want to alert the principal.

I sighed and stepped outside. I'd called Karu and gave him a brief sketch of what had happened - the party news, not the Sasuke news - and he said that Tsunade had already called him. "I'll be right over," he'd promised.

Ten minutes later, a faint glow of yellow finally arrived, slowed down, and pulled over. I jumped in the car; a bleary Karu still in his pajamas and drinking coffee.

"What took you so long?" was the first thing I snapped. I wasn't in a good mood. After all that cold water I knew I was going to get a cold.

"Traffic," was his sarcastic reply. "It's not easy to take care of a teenage girl."

"Boy," I corrected. "Technically - " I stopped and drew in a breath. It had to come out one way or any other.

I trusted Karu. My right-hand man. The person who resumed the role as a father.

"I - I got found out," I said, but it came out as a whisper. "I'm sorry," I rushed. "I didn't mean to."

"Girl," he returned, "I'm not angry." But the look in Karu's eyes showed plainly different. "I guess we have to move again."

"Wha-what?!" I stuttered. I turned around to face him. For the first time in my life, I saw his face as tight, expressionless.

"I said we're moving," he replied curtly. "That's what happened those last times, too." He pulled into the driveway and unhooked his seatbelt. "We moved."

Faintly in my mind I replayed the last times we moved - he was right - how did I forget? I'd been acting as some person; the new girl or boy, depending - and had messed up.

In my embarrassment I'd begged to leave.

"I'll wake you up at eight thirty," was all he said as he entered the house. "Today will be your last day."

I stopped at my front door, the events whirling around me with a burst of anguish. For the first time...I shook my head, looking around at the beautiful scenery.

For the first time...I actually stopped to look. To listen. To take it all in.

To respect that I'm very lucky to be rich and average looking. That I'm not a homeless person.

Unerringly tears slipped down my face.

_For the first time in my life...I don't want to leave._

I curled up by the welcome mat and closed my eyes. My last thought was one about Sasuke.

**X**xxxxx

"Hinata?!" shrieked my sister's voice. My eyes snapped open. She stood over me with a stricken expression. "Since when do you sleep outside?"

I ignored her.

I went inside to get dressed. I was still in the T-shirt and pants. Luckily it was autumn so weren't that many bugs and the temperature wasn't below zero.

Sighing, I wrapped the cloths around my chest, staring in the mirror. I hated being a boy. I hated being Neji.

Maybe the reason I was sexually starved was because I was dressed as him. Huh.

I shook the hair out of my hair. That was another stupid thing about him. Despite the whole dyeing thing and shampooing it extra gentle, I bet my "brown hair" wasn't as smooth and silky as his hair.

It would be impossible to mistake me as a boy in this disguise. Something to take for granted, I mused, putting on a jacket and grabbing two doughnuts, is the ability to look your gender.

I got in the car where Karu as waiting. His fingers impatiently tapped the wheel. I never noticed that he looked more an ashy gray these days. He was only twenty-six. Cigarettes couldn't be doing much good for him.

"Here," he said without looking at me. He tossed me a cell phone. "Borrow it for today. You'll need it."

"What – " I started, but he pressed the music button and a song about flowers blared into my ears.

I took the hint.

When I arrived in the auditorium, I immediately reached to the cell phone and turned it off. I didn't need another distraction. Besides, he could always take a message. I clipped it to my hip.

All throughout my classes I stared at the papers blankly, doodling something or another on them. I couldn't concentrate. Somewhere in my mind I knew today was the last day, but I just couldn't function.

Lunch came like a dream follows a nightmare. I got into line for the second, and last, time. I purchased ramen for the heck of it and told the cashier to keep the change.

"No – I don't want to," I said, pushing back the money.

"Please keep it."

"N-no!" But I relented as money was shoved into my lunch tray once again.

"Donate it or something," she smiled. "Help others."

My eyes brimmed with tears. I stumbled to my lunch table where there were my friends. Friends? More like acquaintances. I pushed my lunch tray over to a surprised Naruto.

"P-p-please k-keep it," I stammered, a sick feeling of bile crawling in my stomach. I very nearly burst into tears right then and there. "I – I – I don't want it…"

"Neji," Naruto said, amazed. By this time the entire table was staring at me. I glimpsed a shadow sitting in the far end. Sasuke, I wanted to yell.

All of a sudden I was too tired – but I felt defiance. "I'm not Neji!" I snapped. "I'm not freaking Neji!"

I murmured something else inaudible and rushed out the cafeteria blindly into the nurses' room. I burst into tears as soon as I saw her sympathetic countenance. Tears led to a long, exhausted sleep.

I opened my eyes blearily. "You're awake, Neji?" the nurse's soft voice asked.

"W-what time is it?"

She told me, adding, "Your ride should be arriving soon. It's the last few minutes of the last few minutes of last period. Remember? Tomorrow is Wednesday. Break day."

I felt hot tears prickling my skin. "I'm not going to here tomorrow," I heard myself whisper. "I'm not going to be here anymore." But only I could hear myself.

"…and he's waiting for you. An escort," droned her voice. I jumped when I saw it was directed to me. I blinked and sat up. My book bag was suddenly dumped across my lap and I looked up.

Sasuke…my tears finally fell.

No. He didn't brush them away. No, he didn't taunt me about it. He wasn't sympathetic. Unlike me, he simply ignored the tears and leaned forward. Gratefulness soared through my heart.

His hand contacted my feverish forehead. "You're burning up. You're hot."

Weakly I giggled at the double meaning of the words.

A side of his mouth pulled down. I stood up, dragging my bag unceremoniously across the floor. I staggered on.

Silently he walked next to me, hands in his pockets. The way his hair glinted in the afternoon sun was definitely magical, I wondered. I could spend hours looking at –

_HONK_!

I jumped. A flashy red convertible pulled up. Someone stepped out.

I felt my breath suddenly freeze, but I didn't know why. Could this – no, it couldn't! –

A guy with long brown hair and an attractive grin walked towards me.

He was about the same height as Sasuke, so naturally I had to crane my neck up as he walked closer, with a somewhat swagger in his step.

Beside me Sasuke stiffened.

The young man opened his mouth, his eyes gleaming with undisguised shock. "Who the _hell_ are you?" he asked, astounded. His voice was deep, unfamiliar. He looked about eighteen.

"I – I – "

"He's none of your business," Sasuke said firmly, stepping forward. Once again I felt a rush of appreciation.

The guy didn't even blink. He looked at me, sizing me up, his eyes roving up and down. It gave me a feeling that he was trying to picture me without clothes on.

"Wait – no, it can't be." Unexpectedly he grinned. "Same hair and eyes, but a really bad taste of my personality? Hinata Hyuuga – are you acting as _me_?!"

Dimly I heard his words but couldn't piece them together. I…I as acting _Neji_, so…this…this guy was…!

He was Neji Hyuuga, long lost cousin.

I wanted to faint dead away but I wasn't lucky enough.

Neji Hyuuga reached out and snagged my cell phone that was on my hip in one swift, fluid motion.

I back away. "I – "

"What's wrong?" He flipped open the cell phone cover. "Your manager should have sent you a message," he said carelessly, "that your father and I were arriving."

I stared at him. Vaguely I felt Sasuke's arm pull me up as I fell backwards. I would have loved to live and die in those arms but you don't always get what you want.

Neji showed the message.

-From: Karu-

-To: Hinata-

-Hey, girl. Just a reminder. Today's your last day. Neji is arriving today, the real thing. Back from a basketball game. He made the state championship.

Also, your father has arrived at noon. I told him about your career as an actress and he intends to push it further. He's waiting for you at home. Love from Karu, your number one fan-

I gulped. Sasuke seemed to tense even more, if possible.

"So that's it," concluded Neji Hyuuga, handing me back the cell phone. I took it with clammy fingers.

"Come on, then." He took my hand and pulled me to his car. He got in the driver's seat, waiting.

I didn't move.

A tap on my shoulder. I turned around. "Are you really leaving?" Sasuke asked. I couldn't read his expression.

I nodded numbly.

His grip on my shoulder tightened. He turned me around to face him. I blinked dazedly.

"Give me your number," he whispered.

The horn honked, irritated. Not aware of what I was doing, I shoved the cell phone into Sasuke's hand. The number was in there. His hand was warm, and I felt like I could hold it forever. He was my last and final connection to Konoha. I wanted to hold on.

The window opened. Neji yelled, "Hurry up! I've only met you for five minutes and I'm already bored to death!"

Sasuke pushed the cell phone back into my trembling hands. "Why are you trying to – "

I felt the warning signs coming; a hot, uncomfortable sensation on my eyelids. Tears were coming…

I threw the cell phone onto the sidewalk and ran into the car, shutting the door behind me. I didn't need the stupid machine that had ruined my life.

What life?

I felt like crying but the tears did not come.

**Sasuke**

I picked up the cell phone. I had a large dent on one side but otherwise it was a thing of beauty, effortlessly flawless.

She was rich.

And it didn't strike me, as her car pulled away, gleaming in the sun, that I could never see her again.

**X**xxxxx

We arrived at my house – the house. We were moving out tomorrow, after all. I couldn't expect any feelings.

Hiashi was on the front porch, looking extremely out of place.

He wore black, black, and black. I hated black. His hair was carefully prearranged in place and it was literally shining. He held out his arms, then looked me over and did a double take. "You look like a small Neji, Hinata," he chuckled, amused."

I had a sudden urge to slap him, but didn't move.

Neji pushed me lightly from behind. My father's arms dropped a bit. "Ah – well, I suppose it Is a shock," he chuckled politely and made a gesture. "Go change."

A direct order.

I felt tears slipping. Finally. I pushed past my father. The man who had walked out of my mm and had, I believed, been the cause of her death – I bounded up the stairs, three at a time.

I kicked open the bathroom door, curled up in ball on the floor, and sobbed and sobbed.

_Ooooooooooooooooo I'm thinking of you.  
_

_In my sleepless solitude tonight_

_If it's wrong to love you_

_Then my heart just won't let me right._

Sitting on my bed, I exhaled loudly. I was fine.

Just a dream – from behind, two hands snaked in front of my eyes.

I jumped up when a voice whispered, tantalizingly close to my earlobe, "Guess who?"

"Sasuke," I whispered in an inaudible tone. I knew it was impossible, yet still I hoped. An odd sensation took place in my chest. I wanted so badly for him to be…

"Neji." His breath ticked my face, "I can't believe it's been so long."

He pulled me backwards so that my head was on his chest. I didn't have any energy to push him away.

He took his hand from my closed eyes and wrapped them around my waist.

"Hinata," he murmured, and his hand slipped up, fingers tapping against my rib cage.

I shuddered involuntarily, buy my body responded with an unholy fashion. I pressed myself to him, shivering, hardly aware of what the hell I was doing.

I felt his slight laugh through his chest. "You're just like when you were younger," he whispered to me. "You don't know what you want until someone shows you."

I stiffened into reality and tried not to think of his hand that was slipping to my back.

"I thought Hiashi told you to take off your disguise." His fingers took hold of the end of the cloth that was tucked in. In one fluid motion he unwrapped he bondages and sat up. I stood, breathing rapidly. It's good I wore a bra today, I thought, relieved.

"Hinata! Neji!" yelled my father's voice from downstairs.

I sighed and started walking. My senses seemed to be functioning again.

He was sitting down, and indicating that we do so as well. I sat down reluctantly.

"It will come as a shock," he said almost to himself. He looked at me directly. "It's might also be surprising that I am leaving today for an important business meeting."

Nope, Dad. Not surprised.

"But before I go…" His eyes seemed to be shining. "Let me give you two a blessing."

Hm? I glanced sharply at Neji, who looked bored. But his eyes were tense, alert.

"You two will be engaged when Hinata turns…sixteen, was it?" He pronounced each syllable with flairs of excitement. I stared back, horrified.

On the other hand…Neji was just staring bleakly ahead, at nothing. He knew. He knew already.

I was going to speak out. I couldn't let him do this! "No way!" I practically shrieked. Hiashi's eyebrows rose. So it's not just a joke. "NO FUCKING WAY!" I screamed. I stood up, cheeks heated. I pounded a fist on the table.

He blinked. "No – understand, Hinata! This is a great honor, and it cannot be taken back – "

"SHUT UP!" I hollered. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to watch his eyes stop shining stupidly. I wanted them to roll up until they were sightless – I wanted him to die.

I wanted him to understand me. I wasn't going to be walked all over! "YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDED, YOU CONCEITED, ARROGANT JACKA – "

"Calm down," said a voice from the kitchen doorway. I looked, glaring, my attention diverted, breathing heavily. Karu stood there tiredly with a smoking cigarette. A white-faced Hanabi ran forward. "S-sis, please stop," she begged, tears in her eyes.

I pushed her away, breathing heavily. But suddenly my anger was wiped away. I wasn't strong enough. What was the use?

I ran, wanting to shut the door so loudly it would crack.

But I decided not to. It's better if I stayed away. I ran out the door, leaving it open.

_**

* * *

**_

**Oh, and please, vote on my poll :)**

**By the way, I own Karu, um...let's see...Chiyo, and...uh...there's one more! I know it...**

**Dang. I forgot.**

**YES! Remembered. It's Kasumi. She's Hinata's friend and probably won't be appearing again.**

**Yup. Those are my characters. Sad but true.**

**Also, the reason Karu is taking them to leave Konoha is because that's what happened before on a couple of occasions. Hinata was found out and she was too embarrassed. Because they're rich, they can move to their desire.**

**Edit: 3/23/08.**


	5. Heaven I: Sleeping Near Him

**Never mind. I decided to update today. I'm sorry for giving all you guys hemorrhages.**

**Thanks for all your reviews!! Cries. I really really love you all but I'm too lazy to write more. **

**Also...**

**School has started and I hate school!!**

**(,"), I do not own Naruto but I can pwn him.**

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Heaven I - Sleeping Near Him**

**X**xxxxx

_Neji is seventeen years old_

**X**xxxxx

I kept running. Mentally I knew where, but somehow I didn't remember, didn't recall. I carried a jacket in my hands, but I was in too much of a hurry to get away and I didn't want to wear it.

The next thing I saw was a red door on top of a steep flight of stairs. I rapped on the door, in a hurry.

When it opened I tumbled in, the scene turned familiar. Something firm stopped my fall.

I hated life. It was too filled with drama.

**Sasuke**

I had just returned from guitar lessons when I heard sharp knocks on the door. I paused, still in my winter jacket, and shrugged it off.

No one knocked anymore. My parents, though on a vacation, had three identical keys. My brother had a married life. I'd doubt very much he would want to visit.

I expected an advertising company. Upon opening it, someone crashed in. I grabbed her arm, knowing, in some obscure way, that it was Hinata.

She was so mysterious…as an actress…a person I barely knew.

I felt her tears dripping on to my bare feet. Instinctively I touched her forehead – it was ice cold. I laid her facing up on the couch. Her eyes were tightly closed and she was shivering.

Where did she come from? She was tired and sleepy. Did she actually run all the way?

And…why?

Why to here? To me?

She could have fallen from the sky for all I knew.

I could wake her up. Or I could drive her to her house. Her advanced cell phone had a map.

Or I could leave her here until she woke up.

Getting a heavy blanket from upstairs, I covered her and tucked the edges in. Only her thin, exhausted face peeked out. Warily she opened her eyes.

They were a polished, beautiful pale gray.

_Beautiful?_ I wondered. She sighed and faced my direction, eyes once more closed. _Where did that come from? _

The only word to describe her now was _tired_.

I exhaled slowly, my mind feeling suddenly dizzy, and got a book. I only read when there was absolutely nothing else better to do.

But I watched her in the corner of my eye.

**Neji**

She's gone. For now, she's disappeared. I don't know what to feel. It's confusing…and I don't know why I acted as I did before.

I sprawled on her bed, sighing. I loved her room. I would never tire of staring at her drawings or her interests. It was mysterious, getting to see how she had stepped through life and progressed.

About how she was grown now, both physically and mentally.

**Hinata**

I woke up feeling absurdly warm. The sky was full of clouds. There was no smiling, shining sun…

How…?

I was in a room with a large fireplace, lying on a couch. My toes hurt. I peeked forward.

Sasuke was lying on the other side of the couch, eyes closed and sleeping. There was a fallen book, half-opened, on his lap. He was sitting on a blanket that was draped on my body.

He was also sitting on my feet.

I couldn't move my toes. I smiled sleepily, feeling peaceful, and snuggled into the covers.

Circumspectly, though, I watched him, the rise of his chest and his slow, deep breathing.

He twitched slightly and leaned back, sliding along the couch until he rested sideways, his legs on the ground.

My cheeks burned. His head was on my stomach, his hand on my mid thigh.

I couldn't feel anything; the covers were thick and too, too warm.

And my feet were growing numb.

Sasuke stirred a few hours later. He yawned and swung his legs onto the couch, laying face-down.

Something was wrong, though. The couch was…he sat up.

Oh.

"You're sitting on my feet," I explained, embarrassed.

His expression failed to change as he stood up, stiffly.

"Sorry."

"I – It's okay."

I placed my arms on my knees and shook the covers off, looking up at him, puzzled.

He must have carried my onto the couch…my blush deepened. And then I had to comprehend I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I've got to g-go!" I realized with a strange reluctance. I jumped up and ran out the front door.

**X**xxxxx

Karu was waiting by the door inside as I lurched in the house. I was exhausted; the distance was at least more than one mile.

"Where were you?" he asked unhurriedly, smoking a cigarette.

_Sleeping with a boy_, I wanted to retort, but instead I rushed up the stairs, eager to stay by myself to sort out the swirling emotions clouding my thoughts.

"I suppose you're happy to know that your father is gone."

He was? I paused on the middle step.

"Maybe he'll visit next year. He went on an important business meeting."

I frowned. "Tell him to take his time."

Karu grinned unexpectedly. I'd missed his warm smile. I felt like crying again. He called after me, "Hanabi's at her dance class. She won't be getting back till in half an hour. Neji's upstairs."

Only when I reached the top of the steps did I realize that I had forgotten my jacket at Sasuke's house.

Neji was sitting on my bed neatly, flipping through a book. Later I'd be surprised to find out it was about philosophy.

"Why are you here?" I asked. I always felt tremendously uncomfortable around him.

He glanced up, surprised. "I live here."

"_W-what?!"_

"They didn't tell you?" His brow slightly furrowed. "I'm going to live here because there's an excellent basketball clinic nearby."

I thought we were moving. No one knew how many hours of sleep I'd given up by crying into my pillow, not wanting to leave Konoha.

No one told me anything.

"W-we're not m-moving?"

He finally snapped the book shut. "No…what gave you that idea?"

I needed to sit down somewhere. Weakly my legs bent and I found myself on the floor. "I – I thought – but at school…"

"I told Karu that you didn't want to leave." His pale eyes burned into mine. "Those last times…I assumed the reason you moved was because you solely wanted to."

He stared at me. I was crying.

"You…you _want _to stay, right?"

I nodded, feeling impossibly relieved of a huge burden.

"Well, then, I guess we're staying here for now."

_Neji…_

A sudden burst of vigor accompanied my step as I flew down the stairs. Karu was exactly where I had left him, sitting down and slowly smoking.

"W-w-we're not – m-moving?!" I was stuttering too much to be understood. I tried again, feeling choked up. "We're not m-moving?"

He blinked. "We're not. At least…that's what Neji told me. You don't want to."

I ran forward and gave him a tremulous hug, shaking too much with happiness. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you very m-much."

He blinked again. His cigarette dropped to the floor. "You're welcome."

My joy was brimming, overflowing.

Sasuke…Naruto…Shikamaru, Chouji…hell, even _Sakura_! I couldn't wait to see them again.

I needed a resolution, some kind of goal. Too much ecstasy…was that possible?

But first, I decided right there that I hated being a boy.

"I'm going as a girl tomorrow," I came to the decision.

Karu's eyes widened. "Girl, where did all your courage come from?"

Suddenly I saw that his lighted cigarette was slowly burning the tips of his bunny slippers.

I pointed.

He yelled.

**X**xxxxx

That night I couldn't sleep. I was shaking with contentment, happiness. Hiashi was gone. He wouldn't bring hell into my life anymore. And when he came back…I would be trained. I would train myself to stand up to him and fight again.

As an actress, I only stayed at one place, at most, for two months. I couldn't count high enough as to how many times I'd moved.

Neji was here. As much as that shocked me, I was glad that he was. He was like an older brother. I hoped I could count on him.

Sasuke…I would see him tomorrow at school. Shivers ran up and down my spine. Sasuke…

Sasuke…

_Sasuke_…

I went to sleep thinking of my dark eyed seraph who saved me from loneliness.

**X**xxxxx

It was Thursday. Finally! For once in my life I could not wait to get to school.

At three o'clock Karu – he had insomnia and had nothing better to do – drove to the shop to purchase the schools' girl uniform. I heard him drive out, the headlights gleaming, and then it grew dark as he drove away.

I thought of my life. I'd started thinking that there was nothing better than being an actress. I took the richness as granted…I thought I liked moving a lot, but it was slowly tearing me apart.

At about four thirty I tiptoed out my bedroom.

I didn't want to wake Hanabi – she was a light sleeper – since she was worn out from the four-hour long dance rehearsal yesterday.

Neji slept in the fourth bedroom upstairs (Karu had the largest room, I had the second the largest, Neji, and then Hanabi. The only reason she chose the smallest was because it also had the best view).

I wondered how he slept. His door was slightly ajar and unconsciously I found myself looking into his room.

So he was staying…for an indefinite amount of time…

To my shock he was already up, sitting on his covers. There was a dim light from the sun that was shining down on his bed. He was just staring, thinking, I guess. There was a faraway look in his eyes.

He was also singing softly…so softly I couldn't make out some phrases.

"Lonesome times – feel like…

There's no way to see forever,

When I realize your dre-eam…

Lonesome times,

It's like the blow of the wind

And…to a river…"

I stopped, my eyes wide. His voice was just a caress blown away by the wind.

It was too soft. I leaned forward, craning my neck, my hand tightly gripping the doorknob. He shifted slightly in his bed, sitting up.

It was then I discovered he was wearing a sleeveless, thin shirt and long white shorts. It must be his sleeping wear…

"I was not supposed to fall in love with you…"

He murmured slightly louder…

"I was someone else…someone else…in love with you,

…I was someone else...I was not supposed to let this – "

I saw the floor running up to meet me, but I didn't realize it until it collided with my nose. It smarted.

"Owww!" I bawled. My face was flaming and it hurt like crazy. I collapsed onto the floor, my ankle twisted beneath me. Damn!

"H-hinata?" His stammer sounded like mine. Despite everything I started giggling. It was just…utterly _hopeless_.

Clutching my hurting stomach, I rolled around, snickering like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I started sounding like a horse serious arthritis issues, but this just made me wheeze more.

I laughed until my stomach started _really_ hurting. I chortled until I got the hiccups.

I hiccupped until tears started falling. On my face there was a thin trickle of blood running from my nose.

"Hinata-sama!" He ran over and clasped his hand to my shoulder, shaking me. I started to choke.

I looked up. "I – I'm f-fine!" I gasped, giggling. "I – I don't know! I'm not crazy!"

I wiped the blood away on my sleeve. I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious and mortified. "Oh," I muttered. My throat felt dry. I was wearing black pajamas on bottom…and a snow-white silk shirt on top. The red showed plainly.

I cursed very audibly. "Sh - "

He began to laugh. I stopped to stare.

I shoved him and he rolled on his side, his hair swirling. I found it fascinating the way it moved. "Neji - "

I'd never warmed up to someone this fast. I really was shy and ill at ease. But this – now –

"N-never mind," he smirked, sitting upright. "The look on your face - " And he began laughing again.

I muttered something. "Incorrigible."

I left him amused on the floor. I was going to my room to read, do _something, _when Hanabi rushed out of her room. She had dark circles under her eyes. Otherwise her face was starkly white.

I felt horrible immediately. "I'm sorry for waking - "

"Never mind!" she interrupted hastily, her tone frightened. "Who's – what's…?"

She pointed, her hand shaking, to Neji's room. I could hear him clearly. "Um…he's…"

Her hand found mine. "Is he angry? Is he crying? What did you _do_ to him?"

"Wait!" I held up my hands. "I didn't - "

She stared at my sleeve. Then her eyes traveled slowly up to my face. "Hinata!" she cried, stricken. She was truly freaking out. "What happened? What - "

Hanabi pushed me to the doorway of Neji's room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I assured her. I shoved the door open. "See?"

Hanabi's eyes were as large as saucers. "N-neji-nii-san! A-are you – are you _feeling_ okay?!"

He looked up. As soon as he did I wished he hadn't.

There was a tickling sensation at the back of my throat.

I giggled and collapsed on the floor. I very nearly banged my fists on the ground. A discombobulated heap, I was.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind I couldn't stop. I seriously howled.

Neji stopped, gaping at me.

Hanabi was staring between the two of us, trying to figure out what the heck had happened while she was asleep. Then, to Neji –

"W-why are you still wearing your boxers?"

He started laughing again. His face was turning red.

A smile gradually showed on her face, an uncertain one, but a genuine one.

A minute later we were all laughing for no apparent reason.

* * *

**I know. Too much fluff. I'm practically inhaling it right now. **

**By the way, seraph means angel. That's Sasuke :) **

**P.S - I named it "Heaven" instead of "Act" because she's not going to act as a boy anymore. She's reborn as a girl and the next chapters might contain some more fluff. Something like that.**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	6. Heaven II: The Name is Hinata!

**Hi again!! Here it is (,"),**

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Heaven II - The Name is Hi-na-ta!**

**X**xxxxx

_Hanabi is eleven years old_

**X**xxxxx

I woke to the bright, glimmering sunlight. Leisurely I stretched and yawned. Karu had placed the girl uniform in the doorway. I nearly tripped over the sheets, eager to try them on.

I ran to the bathroom and donned the tight, knee-length dress and the black blouse. I messed up the buttons several times; there were two buttons that became loose and I cursed at my hastiness.

When all was done I looked in the mirror. Then – I still had to get the hair right! I cut, snipped, and tore off the extra hair until it was all mine, raven-colored, and the way I like it.

I saw my reflection…my face flamed up. It hit me – I'd put on my skirt on backwards! No wonder it felt so breathlessly tight.

I stumbled, tripped, and fell two times.

From the bottom of the stairs Hanabi called, "We're leaving in half an hour!"

Déjà vu came in a flash – just like from the first day of school. I jumped up in shock, insecurely; but no, it wasn't Neji's reflection that reflected back. It was mine. Hinata…Hyuuga's.

I grinned hugely. I was…_me._

Pulling open the bathroom door, I bounced down the stairs and skipped to the kitchen, where everyone was already up. Neji was still in his sleeping clothes.

I stared. He stared back.

"Don't you have – "

"You look - "

" – school today?"

" – _really_ different."

I blinked and sat down, taking a piece of toast with me. He kept his eyes trained on me.

But I didn't blush. I was too merry, carefree.

Hanabi smiled at me across the table. She looked like an angel sipping coffee. "You're glowing, Hinata!"

I was practically beaming back. Eep.

"Hurry up, kids," yawned Karu. "Hanabi's being dropped off first."

Neji seemed to stir. Slowly he took a sip of orange juice.

"I…" he started, "don't need school to get a job." He gestured around, eyebrows raised. "And neither do you."

I finished my piece of toast and began attacking the waffles. I realized he was talking about our richness, our wealth. "But I _want_ to."

I wanted to see them – my classmates – again, and even learn about science and math and…

Neji gave me a funny look. "You could just stay home or play sports or something."

"Hah. If that's what you do…well, I'm not _good _at sports."

He laughed slightly. "I have basketball on the weekends. These days I'm just stuck here."

"That's why you should go to school," I heard myself say.

Suddenly I hoped fervently that he would go to school with me…he'd blend as an older student, maybe…

"Nah. I'd rather not."

"Why n - "

"Why don't you two," cut in Karu, putting his coat on and lighting a cigarette, "lovebirds start hurrying up?"

I blushed and ducked my face down, getting up and throwing my trash away. Neji didn't react. Or maybe I was too busy slinging my book bag over my shoulder to notice.

I got into the car. Karu drove the whole trip in silence, dropping Hanabi off with a quick, "Bye," and pulling away.

When we arrived at Konoha Boarding School I stepped out, feeling extremely anxious.

"Bye, Hinata." I saw a thin trail of smoke from the window.

"You've got to stop smoking." I was stalling. Behind me I knew there were many, many stares.

"Nah. Good try and good luck."

He drove away after a few waves.

Mentally I tried to prepare myself, but my knees felt like rubber. My hands were shaking.

I felt a presence behind me and I whirled around, my heart hammering.

A hand probed the small of back forward to the crowd. I was forced to keep walking.

I couldn't see behind me…I still felt the narrow, firm fingers. The person pushed me to a secluded, shadowy spot under a large brick wall.

My mouth went dry. I tried to turn around but the other hand pinned my shoulder down. I was pressed slightly to the wall.

Then a voice whispered close to my earlobe, "Guess who…"

"Neji," I whispered. I don't know why I did. It was just like that time with Neji…

"Neji?" Sasuke turned me around. "The guy who came for you once?" His eyes were narrowed imperceptibly.

I was sent into frenzied heart palpitations. "Wh-what did you do that for?"

"The boys would have been all over you if I hadn't kept you hostage for myself." He dropped his hand into his pockets. Just as my expression was starting to change, my eyes shocked, he added, "Joking."

I felt bitter disappointment in the pit of my stomach. "But," he added, "Your hair looks way better now."

Pink went to my cheeks. "Really?" I managed.

"No."

If he were Neji I would have involuntarily pushed him away playfully. But he was Sasuke, and that made all the difference.

I didn't respond. I didn't care if he'd just insulted me. I was happy, in a weird way, being close to him and knowing that he would be with me at school.

"You're too quiet," he muttered. On his face were lines of anger. "He's changed you."

I had no idea what he was saying.

_I_ was quiet? He _had_ to try himself; the taciturn, laconic character he was.

"Sasuke - "

"Forget it." He unexpectedly grabbed my hand and pushed through the crowd with an edgy passion. All the while I was stumbling through the throngs of people while he just shoved.

I wasn't as strong as him. Couldn't he have more respect…even for someone like me?

"P-please, Sasuke – wait – _wait up!_" I was gasping for air.

He stopped suddenly. Someone nearly crashed into me. Another stepped on my shoes.

"I'm waiting."

He was being offensive and he knew it and continued that way. I felt anger rise in my chest. "You're being such an _ass_!"

Sasuke turned around slowly, an unreadable feeling on his face. "What did you just call me?"

I breathed quickly. "I – I didn't mean – I - " He was intimidating and I was cowering. In my heart I despised this.

"_What_ did you call me?"

"F-forget it."

He didn't move. A boy with untidy blond hair gave me the finger after nearly slamming into me.

I was losing my patience. "Please, can you just - "

"_What did you call me?!_"

My calmness snapped. "I called you an _ass!_" I shrieked. "And you know what? Y-you know what?" I knew he was furious but I continued anyway, "You're so damn _arrogant! _And," I persisted, wrenching my hand away from his grip, _"you know what_ _else?!"_

He stared at me through his hair. I didn't care about the crowd milling through now. I just cared for him to _understand!_ About how much I had worried, how much I had cried, how hard being an actress was -

"You're so full of yourself! You don't give a _damn_ about how I feel! You're such a - "

He cuffed his hand over my mouth, cutting me off mid-sentence.

"I was - " For some reason his eyes were luminous and he was breathing hard. "I was wrong about you. You're - " He grabbed my wrist and twisted it. I cried aloud. " – different than I'd thought."

"S-st - "

"You're just like the other girls." All of a sudden he gave my wrist a final twist and walked off.

In relief I sat down hard. Countless people stepped on my dress and book bag, but I really didn't care.

Ten minutes later the crowd finally thinned, but I sad there, shivering and not knowing what I was doing. What I had done.

That was…quick. He was so…_eager_…to break the bonds of trust that I _thought _we'd developed.

Finally bitter truth settled in. The principal came outside five minutes later and noticed me sitting there.

I stood up listlessly and gave her my name. "Hinata Hyuuga."

"Oh…your manager told me what happened."

What? "It wasn't a big deal! I don't care if he disappears from this world at this instant! He was never – "

She gave me the second funny look that day. "I was talking about the whole acting boy thing."

Oh.

Wearily I trudged to first period.

All the excitement I'd felt for my classmates dissolved into anxiety.

I was introduced as the new student. The teachers hadn't found out yet, and I intended to keep it at that.

Throughout the first few periods everyone gave me strange looks.

I just put my head down and slept, keeping one ear awake.

"She looks just like that Neji Hyuuga! They must be cousins…"

"Speaking of him, where is he? I've never saw him around that much…"

"…They're both secluded weirdoes!"

"I heard that the Neji kid went to a party…"

"What happened?"

"Dunno. But he's probably a player. I heard he got drunk."

I burrowed my head in my arms and melted into tears.

For some reason, I thought of Naruto, who had been so friendly on that first day. He didn't know…he didn't know.

No one knew except Sasuke…

But the truth would die with him if I wouldn't say it myself.

Lunch was next period. I would tell them. All of them. Every single person. I didn't want to be alone any longer.

I bought my lunch and sat exactly where "Neji" had sat. Eyebrows rose. Sakura was sitting where she had sat in the beginning of school. Her arms were around Sasuke once more.

My teeth clenched.

_What the hell is wrong with you, Sasuke? I thought you'd – I thought you'd broken up! If this is some kind of sick joke to make me feel jealous… _

_I… _

_I won't fall for it…_

I ate in silence. Towards the middle of lunch I just couldn't take this anymore.

I sat up determinedly and banged my tray against the table.

Not everyone in the lunchroom looked; only the people at my table. People who I hoped I could trust.

"I'm Neji," I said just loudly enough. Most eyes were wide, but at least they were boys. Excluding Sakura, they didn't have the mouths to gossip and to hurt feelings.

I hadn't thought of just saying it aloud, but somehow I had courage. Bravado, maybe, but it gave me a sense of security.

"On Monday and Tuesday I was cross dressing as Neji Hyuuga. I am an actress. But I got found out by someone, so I decided to go as a girl anyway."

I stared hard at Sasuke, who didn't cast a single glance at me. Relentlessly continuing I tried to stop my tears from welling up, "I know it sounds crazy. But really…I – I'm Hinata Hyuuga. And no one else."

No one was talking here anymore. There was a prolonged stillness.

"I knew it."

"Wh-what?" Everyone looked at – Shikamaru.

"It wasn't obvious, but…" He smiled. "Your face structure is exactly the same. You used clever ways, but facial structure can't change."

I felt my heart start to calm down.

Everyone else was still gaping. Chouji had a chicken drumstick half-in and half-out of his mouth.

Sasuke was still facing away from me, in the direction of Sakura. She stared past his hair and at me. Her eyes were chips of steel.

She stood up, cheeks red. "I can't believe you fooled me!" she exclaimed angrily. "That's just such a gross thing, you know? At the party you were there, and I – I thought you were a –

"Are you sure you're a girl? You seriously looked like a guy – you can't _be_ a girl!"

I felt someone's hand on my chest. I turned around –

"Nope. She's a girl, Sakura. You're wrong."

"N-_naruto!"_

"What?"

**Whack.**

"Oww!! Kankuro, what'd you do that for?!"

"You _idiot_. Don't you know…"

But the ice-cold awkwardness had been broken. I was still blushing furiously.

"That's a pretty cool idea!"

"I still can't believe you had me fooled."

"Hinata's a pretty name. Are you going to tell everyone in the school?"

"…Can you be my girlfriend? You're the only pretty girl in the whole table. Oh, _sorry_, Sakura, didn't notice you."

"Shut _up_, Kiba."

All in all, I was feeling better, but awfully discomfited.

At least no one had yelled at me. I don't think I could have lived through that.

…And guess who didn't talk one word through the whole thing?

At ten o'clock I was getting ready for bed. Tsunade told me I could keep my roommate if it didn't make me uncomfortable that we were the only two that had co-ed dorms. I said no but I wasn't so sure myself.

In the shower I wondered how in the world I could have gotten along with Sasuke. Even if it was for a few days.

People like him...they're coldly arrogant, even worse than the obnoxious types. They hold iciness, cruelness...

But I ddin't know. I was the quiet girl, one who stammered. But I thought differently inside. I was ready to stand up for myself if necessary.

If I was so different inside, maybe...he was too?

I opened the door and steam rushed out. I was in my pajamas.

He didn't speak to me and I didn't speak back.

This was worse than when I'd first met him.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	7. Heaven III: Gaara's Dead: One More Down

**Hi again! Thank you for all your reviews...I'm updating right now (it really is pretty early, considering!) because tomorrow (Monday) I'm going to be super busy!**

**January 7, 2008 - I replaced this better copy...there were a few minor errors XD**

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Heaven III - Gaara's Dead; One More Down**

**X**xxxxx

_Karu is twenty-six years old_

**X**xxxxx

I wonder which idiot made gym class the longest period of all. We're playing an idiotic game called the Konoha War using soft dodge balls as missiles.

Sad.

I'll spare the long, Gai-sensei and Rock Lee induced "Youthful Instructions."

Object of the game; to be the last one standing. You try to hit others.

Rules; if any limb gets hit, you lose it. For example...an arm gets hit. You have to put it behind your back. Leg gets hit, you jump around on one leg. If hit on both legs, you have to walk on his knees.

How to die; if you get hit in the back, head, or an already decapitated body part. You're out, to sit on the sidelines.

Simple and concise without the whole "run into the sunset" spheal.

"Psst!"

A girls with several blonde ponytails smiled and beckoned. Warily I approached her.

"The girls form an alliance," she whispered, grinning. "As usual. Well, you're new, so you don't know. Just to tell you."

I nodded. So I was to...aim for the boys?

"By the way, my name is Temari." She smiled and returned to the other girls. I was reluctant to, but finally I went over to them. Gai-sensei was just about to blow the whistle... "Let's win this thing!"

The whistle blew and ten dodge balls were immediately launched into the air. The bravehearted retrieved them and automaticaly pummeled everyone in sight. Arms, legs, backs, were instantly hit.

I ran to the wall, grouping with a few girls.

If they were as good to their word as being annoying...and surprisingly, they were.

Boys hit boys and girls hit boys and vice versa, but girls didn't hit girls. Actually it was a good idea...

**Wham**! A ball hit a girl on both her legs. She had black braids, and scowled and walked on her knees.

It was chaos. Balls were flying everywhere; I was trying to duck, but sooner or later my right leg was hit. I stumbled, dodged, and remained against the wall in a purely defensive position.

Most of the boys were already down after less than fifteen minutes. Just Gaara, sasuke, and Naruto remained. There were at least six girls, including me and Sakura. Temari was already sitting against the side wall.

**Bam, bam. Whack**!

Three girls were hit in the back and head. Ouuuuch.

With speed and ultimate precisio, a ball slammed into my left arm. I winced and put it behind me. With my right arm I picked up the ball hat had hit me.

I couldn't throw it at the boys because they were too far away. Sakura was right there, the only other girl remaining...

I wasn't planning to throw anything anyway, but... Ad I'd never _agreed_ to the alliance. I'd never promised.

I threw it softly. It connected with her back

She cried out in surprised, and turned around. I froze. Maybe I had gone too far -

"You _bi_ - "

"You're out," interrupted Shikamaru from the sidelines. I threw him a grateful look. Sakura stamped off, muttering under her breath. She sat near the girls that followed her around like puppy dogs.

Hah.

But I knew I'd done something both brave and suicidal. This was just the type of excuse Sakura could use to badmouth me.

Without realizing it, a ball hit both my legs with deadly accuracy. I looked up from the ground on my knees. Gaara stood about seven feet away. A corner of his mouth was lifted slightly, and he was reaching for another dodge ball when a surprised expression crossed his face.

A ball was thrown from behind - at his head. It was too quick to duck from.

**Wham**!

Gaara turned around, facing Sasuke, who was smirking. He had all his limbs still. I heard Sakura's cheer.

The redhead stalked off. And then those onyx, unpenetrable eyes stared at me. I blinked. The blood rushed to my cheeks. Now...

_Now it was just me and him._

I swallowed, stumbling on my knees. I tried to position myself as far as possible. He had all ten dodgeballs and threw effortlessly.

One made a dent in the mat on the wall. Another hit exactly where my hand had been a heartbeat before.

**SLAM! BAM**. Two I ducked by rolling -

"Yea, go Sasuke!" yelled Sakura. I looked up, studying his face. Suddenly I wanted to know. Did he like her back? Did he really truly and honestly like a person such as her? Were they -

I cried aloud in pain. "A - umph!" My right arm was down. Now both my arms and both my legs were useless.

Was I still considered to be _alive_ in this sick game?

Sakura's jeering voice sounded. "Stump! Stump! Hah!"

So I was a stump. Lovely.

And apparently I was still in the game. Damn.

He had three dodge balls in his grasp. It was easy now, I thought. I was awkwardly balanced on my knees with two hands tied behind my back. All I could do was shuffle around. But it was pointless.

He was swift, agile...deadly.

I rolled over, my arm hurting. The ball missed by a few inches. It slammed against the wall, rolling back to me.

"Use your mouth!" bellowed Gai-sensei. "Anything goes!"

Use my..._mouth_?! To throw the ball...?

Sasuke was getting closer. He wasn't even running. He knew it was futile for me. But I would not give up. I don't know how or what, but somehow I felt anger stir inside from when he was acting like a jerk.

Vainly rolling across, I clenched my teeth on the soft, firm fabric of the dodge ball.

_I understand if you can't talk to me again_

_And if you live by the rules of "it's over", then I'm sure that that makes sense..._

_I will go down with this ship. And I won't put my hands up and surrender._

_There will be no white flag above my door..._

I got back up on my knees, determined. He was already there, less than one yard away from me.

Then Sasuke did something unexpeected; he tapped the dodge ball against his legs and got on his knees like me. _I'm facing you...as an equal_, his eyes seemed to say. Mine narrowed.

Quickly he covered the space between us and lunged forward to the right. I veered to the left just as he did. It was a feint!

I ducked but overbalanced, and hit my chest and stomach hard on the mat, my arms still on my back.

I coughed. The ball that had been in my mouth rolled away.

I felt strong arms pin my shoulders down. I tried to buck them off but couldn't. "Just kill me!" I hissed, my face half into the mat. It was so excruxiatingly embarrassing. "Hurry up and just do it!"

Abruptly the grip lessened. He leaned down, maddeningly close.

"No."

"Hurry up..."

"If I let you win this, will you forgive me?" he asked softly so only I could hear.

"Wh-what? No! No, wait - is _that_ why you're trying to - "

"Then too bad."

Something gentle was pressed to my back.

The whistle blew.

I rolled over and got up. Who cared if I lost.

Just like how he'd acted, I didn't give him one backwards glance.

...I'd already forgiven him long ago.

**X**xxxxx

Deliberately I had ignored Sasuke when he'd touched my shoulder just when he had gotten in his car. And he'd drove off..

I sighed. It wasn't against my better or worse decisios...I just needed a break for a while...

The truth had leaked out faster than sand ocould slip through figners. In school I wasn't the loser, and I definitely wasn't the most popular person, but I felt myself opening up. It really wasn't that bad.

It was a Friday, so we were driven back home until Monday. Until further hell, that was.

The same flashy red convertible stopped at the curb and Neji stepped out, grinning.

"How was your day? How'd it go?"

_Squeals!_

Giggles and whispering automatically turned on full-force.

"So _that's _Neji Hyuuga!!" Squeal!

"He's so hot!"

"I heard that he's an awesome basketball player! When Hinata dressed as him, I was thinking, no way! But now…"

"The real deal!"

He stared at me, eyebrows raised. He looked as if he'd swallowed something filthy. "So I presume that your disguise didn't go all that well."

I smiled, wishing we could just go home. "No…good luck sleeping tonight."

"They'll probably follow me. Stalkers."

"That's your problem."

He laughed and shut my door, getting in.

That night I laid on my bed, facing the wall at home. But in my heart? ...I was peaceful. I'd finally told them. It was out. I felt happy.

God could offer me heaven.

I'd refuse.

Saturday

I watched Hanabi's performance. She's doing a type of ballet. She wasn't the lead but was close to it. I'm proud.

Sunday

I'm bored. Today I went to two parties. Acting isn't all it's fucked up to be. I'm in a bad mood today. Sometimes I wish my parties were more like Sasuke's party...scary but true.

Monday

Boring. School. Sasuke's ignoring me. I think I've gotten used to it. Sarcasm.

Wednesday

Neji's accustomed to bringing me to and from school. I thanked him but he always has a funny look on his face when he picks me up. It's because of the girls. I just know it. They're slowly but surely annoying him to death.

Friday

Same old, same old. I can't believe the book Kakashi was reading...was a make out book! What the heck? But he's a better teacher than most, so students don't blab on him. Kind of cool...

It's been a week already...that went by too fast!! I actually love Konoha...

I just realized that Sasuke still has my jacket and my cell phone. Oh well. He can keep them. He can stay away from me. I can act like I don't care. But...agh!

Saturday

Neji's driving me home from another party...

"I'm having a basketball game tomorrow," Neji said as soon as I'd shut the door, "and you're coming."

I'd got in the back, and saw his eyes watching from the rearview mirror. "I"m not _interested_ in basketball," I sighed. "It's just not my - "

I saw a flash of black in the back. I turned around, my seatbelt digging into my hip. I don't know why. It reminded me of Sasuke, always dark, deeply mysterious.

Of course it wasn't him. It was a piece of clothing from a clothesline. What had I been thinking?!

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." The black shirt was lost in a sharp curve; settled back in my seat, my heart strangely thudding.

"So are you coming or not?"

"I don't know."

"If you come I'll make sure it's worth it for you."

Oh, what the heck. I was being unreasonable. "I'll go."

"Only, the thing is..." His eyes met mine in the mirror again. His were as light gray as ever, but shadowed by his deepset face structure. "Hanabi has a dance lesson. Karu has a dentist appointment - "

I made a noise. "Hah! The dentist will proabably have a seizure when he sees that Karu's been smoking! It serves him r - "

"...Yeah..."

Silence reigned. I stared out the window.

"So I'll drive you," he said finally, pulling up to our house. "But..." he paused. "I'm also picking up my another friend."

"That's fine."

"My friend..." he hesitated and got out. "Never mind."

* * *

**Also, I actually played the same dodge ball game at a summer camp! Except it was called "Army Dodge." And yes, it was painful. **

**And yeah, the girls DID form an alliance!! Lol.**

**Edit 3/23/08**


	8. Heaven IV: Neji and TenTen?

**Was it a slow update? You tell me.**

**Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

At five o'clock on a Sunday morning, I sat in my room checking my email. My inbox had fifteen new messages.

Eleven were advertisements.

The rest were from my friends. Ino's email address was "Better-Than-You."

**-From: Better-Than-You; Ino Y-**

**-To: No-One-Worth-Mentioning; Hinata H-**

**-Hey, Hinata! How's your life coming along?! We're missing you! Hey, come back! We're gonna kidnap you while you're sleeping, I just know it! Please, please, please hurry up and reply!!-**

**X**xxxxx

I bit my lip.

**X**xxxxx

-From: Ino Y-

-To: Hinata H-

-REPLY!! I really miss you!! I miss the way you blush after I try getting you a date! Speaking of which! ;D I met a guy who seems pretty cute! He might be interested in you!!-

**X**xxxxx

I felt like rolling my eyes.

_-From: Hinata H- _

_-To: Ino Y- _

_-Hi, Ino! I miss you too!- _

**X**xxxxx

This was a lie, I thought guiltily. I hadn't cast a single thought on any of my old friends...

**X**xxxxx

_-How's life? …I'm fine! Seriously. You have to stop trying to get me dates! I'm not going to accept. Love, Hopelessly stuck with crushes-_

**X**xxxxx

I clicked "Send" before I realized what a stupid decision I'd made! Now Ino would come roaring in with matchmaking. And what was I thinking? _Crushes? Neji _and _Sasuke?! _

**X**xxxxx

-From: Tom-Girl; 10-10-

-To: Hinata H-

-Hey Hinata it's TenTen!! I just noticed that I never ever emailed you before – we lived only two houses away! I miss you – so this is my email address! Don't you love the username? Lol :)

Kasumi can't use email. She's religiously against it. That's sad…

Anyway, two days ago I met a guy named…ah, I'll tell you later! Can't wait to build up suspense ;)

He's AMAZING!! He's soooo good at sports and his hair is so sexy! Lol. I wish mine were that long!

Yeah – you read right. His hair practically reaches his waist! It's the most fantastic shiny brown color ever…I can't believe he plays basketball! You know how I'm awesome at basketball X(

Well, I couldn't beat him! Imagine that…

He was just visiting, though! I made him give me his IM address! I can't wait to IM him…

Sadly, sulkingly, and love struckingly yours,

10-10

P.S: Get it? 10-10? TenTen? Lol!

P.P.S: Fine! I'm bursting!! His name is Neji Hyuuga!! It sounds so romantic, doesn't it?-

**X**xxxxx

My heart stopped. I slumped down, feeling vulnerable and confused. The mouse slipped and clicked on the next message.

Suddenly I wished that my computer wasn't the most advanced and that it wouldn't load so fast.

**X**xxxxx

-From: Tom-Girl; 10-10-

-To: Hinata H-

-I just realized that your last name is the same as his! I'm so stupid! DO YOU KNOW HIM?? AGH!! You know I usually don't beg! You know I'm usually not this obsessed with boys! That's Ino, lol! ;)

TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM!! PPPLEEEAASEE!! Thank you, my amazingly nice, fantastic, hopefully-related-to-Neji- friend!!-

**X**xxxxx

I swallowed. What else could I do? She was expecting a reply.

**X**xxxxx

_-From: Hinata H- _

_-To: 10-10- _

-_Yes, I love your username! Clever :P- _

**X**xxxxx

I gulped. I knew I had to answer her questions.

**X**xxxxx

_-Neji Hyuuga is my cousin. He's staying at my house. Love, Hinata- _

**X**xxxxx

The message was sent.

I felt awful. Terrible…unpleasant…dreadful. All that laughter disappeared completely.

Why…why…WHY? Why did it hurt like this?

I was being too greedy. I should feel happy for her.

I shut down the computer.

First it had been the cell phone. Now the computer. Why was everything seemingly banding together to ruin my life?

I didn't know...heaven was destruction, and it was crashing down, down, down, to, ultimately, hell.

**X**xxxxx

Neji pulled over on a street I knew too well. My old home. My old life. I couldn't imagine missing this _life_ anymore…I'd much rather forget it and live on.

My old life, old friends…I saw my old house – how could it compare to the one in Konoha? – and then I saw TenTen's house.

She stepped out. She was tall and thin, very adult-like in her short black dress. Her hair fell in a shiny veil over her shoulders. She wore large, colorful earrings and a small, black purse with even more colors. I thought she'd walked out of a fashion magazine.

She stared straight at Neji.

I clenched my teeth. Even today I'd dubbed to dress casually, in a red jacket and jeans. It was just a basketball game!

She ran to the car, smiling. She got in the front, her bracelets going jingle-jangle.

Hate curled and reformed in my eyes. I knew she was my friend – best, in fact – but now, now –

And then TenTen noticed.

"_Hinata_!" she cried. I saw Neji's faint grin as he turned the corner. I was almost shaking with something I couldn't quite describe – jealousy…hatred, resentment…even animosity.

None of these made sense in the reasonable plane, but I saw it clearly blaze right there: Neji and TenTen in the front, together, me in the back seat. The third wheel.

"Hinata? Are you awake?"

"Y-yea."

"Neji," she said quickly. The way she said his name was so…carefree, light. She wasn't uncomfortable around him like I was. "Pull over, Neji."

He ignored her.

She shoved his arm playfully. "Please?" she bemoaned.

He sighed and parked on a curb. TenTen ran out and got in the back, next to me. "Hi, Hinata! How _are_ you? I can't believe I haven't seen you in almost two months!"

"More like a few weeks."

"Yeah, but it seems like forever! Much longer!"

"Hn." I wonder where I'd learned _that_ from. Huh.

I vaguely remembered truly crying when I'd moved away. But now I had a new life. I did not want her to push in.

"Did you get my email?!"

"I replied to it."

"Oh…oh, _yeah_!" She looked excited. She was wearing large purple hoops on her ears. And here I thought she was a tomboy. She was practically glowing.

"I'm in Neji's basketball clinic! I wrote that – Today's the game for the boys…" She made a face. "I was raring to go, but _noooo_!"

From the side of his face, I saw Neji's smirk.

My hands balled into fists. I forced myself to be calm again. What the heck was wrong with me?

So they were on something like a date. So they met every weekend. So they'd come together and I hadn't knew that they'd liked each other like _that_.

So I shouldn't care.

…But I _did_ care.

I'd only met Neji for at most, a week and a half. There was a serious, yet easy composure all about him that made me…

I don't know. Feel weird?

Hah. It could be a crush…

_He's my cousin. But still; so many people marry into their clans. It can't be described as wrong or disgusting…but despite this I still feel a sense of foreboding. I don't want to like him, in a way. It's almost as if he has a million girls hanging off his arm. _

_He's not like Sasuke. _

_Sasuke would, at most, have one girl. One right-hand girl. Sakura, that was. It didn't matter if he liked her or not. I'm hurt all the same. _

_But… _

_At least other girls know that he's taken, period. Period._

**X**xxxxx

"Hinata? Huh, Hinata? Snap out of it, Hinata!"

I blinked. Half-wishing it was Neji but staring into the face of TenTen, I unbuckled my seatbelt like I had sleep deprivation and got out of the car.

"We're here!" she crowed, grabbing my hand and pushing me forward.

I snapped my arm back. "Don't touch me!"

"What? Hinata, I'm not – "

"Just don't _touch_ me." And die or get injured while you're at it.

She got angry. Hiss. Claw.

Crap. I forgot TenTen's short temper. Just another trait I frankly disliked.

"You _know_ I'm not one of _those_ people, okay, Hinata?! I like boys, thank you very much! I'm straight!" At that she flounced off and pushed her fingers into Neji's.

…And _another_ prejudice I hated…

Close viewing. Getting the microphone blasted into our ears. Having the ability to see sweat and the waves of body odor practically dripping off at this angle.

We chose front row seats.

Actually,_ I_ did not choose the front row seats.

TenTen pushed and shoved her way there. She kept trying to get me to talk. Yes. I _was_ being a bitch.

But did I care? No. I did not.

What I really wanted to tell her was get the hell out of my life.

It wasn't perfect – my life. But to have an annoying piece of my past get in?

Never mind…I'm being unreasonable. I really am.

A tired-looking young man with a long black ponytail was the announcer. "Welcome to the first basketball game of the KBC! Konoha Basketball Clinic welcomes you…"

Yawn. I found my eyes roving anywhere but the two people next to me. My gaze sought out the color that stood out most here – black.

I jumped up. There he was, sitting two rows up. _Sasuke…_

"Sit down!" hissed a girl behind me. I obliged timidly, my hear thudding.

_How…how was he here? Or maybe it's _not_ Sasuke? Maybe it's a figment of my stupid imagination again? Black hair is taboo for me…I really have to stop freaking out every time…_

And then I noticed how much the announcer ultimately looked exactly like Sasuke, except for older, more weary-looking face, longer hair, and deeper voice, of course.

_What the heck is going on here?_

I was hyperventilating. He didn't look like Sasuke. It was…but he _did_!

Sasuke? Sasuke…

"Sasuke!" I said aloud. Two people shushed me. The announcer was reading the names of the basketball players.

_Unless Sasuke is a basketball player?!_

It didn't really seem like his thing, though.

Maybe Sasuke was here because his older…brother…was the announcer? And he'd dragged his little brother here?!

"NO!" I shrieked audibly. I was really losing my mind. It's not possible, it's futile, it's…

"Hinata…" admonished TenTen. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

I sat back; trying to be calm, cool, collected…hah. Not achievable.

In a way I _really, really_ wanted Sasuke to be here. I honestly didn't know why…he treated me like dirt. But he and I were very similar – he could understand, couldn't he? –

The boy with the identical black hair sitting a few rows up turned slightly. The same dark, black, moonless eyes and the haughty, not-caring-if-the-whole-world-burned-to-death expression…_Sasuke!_

"YES!"

"Hinata, I'm sorry to say this – "

I looked at Neji, surprised.

"Shut up."

I sat back down, trying to calm my racing pulse.

He's here…now I know it for sure.

…_That_ makes things a whole lot more interesting…

"Neji Hyuuga!" called out the announcer. "Basketball players are supposed to be here right now."

Neji muttered an, "Oh, _shit_," under his breath, and pushed his way through the seats. He ran up, shedding two pounds of jackets in a few seconds. His jersey was dark green and sleeveless.

And then my eyes kept roving over to Sasuke…

Without hesitating, I called out loudly, "Sasuke!"

Later I'd find out its dire consequences…but now? I couldn't care less.

He looked up aloofly, his eyes narrower than usual. I wondered when other people's eyes grew larger, his narrowed?

I grinned and waved.

Beside me, TenTen stiffened. "Seriously! What are you _doing_, Hinata? Since when are you so…? The game's started already!"

However, my attention was _definitely_ not on TenTen. I saw Sasuke stand up boldly, make his way through the rows of people./ He walked over to me, eyebrows raised.

"What…?"

All of sudden I felt flustered. A sea of unfamiliar faces stared at me. But the basketball game still continued. In my peripheral vision I saw Neji falter.

"I – I don't know…"

He half-smiled. "Go outside?" He gestured to the hundreds of eavesdroppers. I didn't know why or why not, but…

I followed him.

Sasuke didn't stop in the hallway. He walked outside, not bothering to hold open the door for me.

Why...I don't now…I did not even now him well…

Outside the weather was slightly cool, with an icy bright sun. There was a small and sturdy fountain.

He sat on the fountain stones. I saw on the cement ground, hugging my knees. I took a few pieces of grass and twirled them around my fingers.

Something hit me in the stomach. Startled, I glanced up.

"You cold?"

I t was my jacket.

"I – it's mine!"

He smiled. I would have loved to believe it was genuine. "I brought it because I thought you'd be here."

"How…"

"I don't know." His smile turned into a grin. "And your cell phone."

He threw it. I caught it, dazed.

"You…smiled…"

Our fight was forgotten for now.

His grin turned to a frown, his eyes flashing. "I didn't."

"You did!"

A corner of his mouth drooped. "Did not."

"I bet you did."

"I bet I didn't."

"Well – "

"Here. Let's do this. I'll make a bet saying I won't smile – "

"You – "

"Wait. That…I won't smile for an entire week."

"But – "

He leaned towards me. Instead of bending back I tilted forward. Somehow my hand found his. I pulled him down, next to me, on the ground.

He stared at me, his face slowly moving in. Through it all my heart was beating wildly.

Why was I doing this? I wanted to. I wanted him near me. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to –

Sasuke pulled away. I could have sworn there was a broad smirk, but I felt too dizzy to point this out.

"I'm not the only one who has to make a bet," he explained, whispering. "You need to make one, too."

"Wh-what?"

Suddenly I found myself staring into his eyes. We were almost touching…

"You need to bet that…"

The wind whipped through his face and his hair hit my cheeks.

"…that you won't be tempted to…or actually…kiss me."

I imagined and I blushed.

"The loser does whatever the other wants."

I nodded, not understanding, really. I was just about to _break_ the bet when I heard a loud voice.

"Hinata! What the hell are you doing out here?"

TenTen stood there before us with a stormy expression on her face.

"It's probably all thanks to all your distractions that Neji got injured!"

"N-neji?" I stammered, standing up. "Where is he? Wh-what happened?!"

"He's being driven by Itachi to the hospital. In his condition, he can't drive right now!"

My head felt light. "What – who's that?" I was trying to make sense of this all.

"He's my brother," Sasuke spoke up, sounding calm and unruffled. "He was the announcer."

"O-oh." I couldn't seem to do much but stutter. "I – hospital – I'm going…"

"My brother's car is small," objected Sasuke. "Only two of us can go."

TenTen shouted, "I'm going!"

I felt a jolt in my chest. I was worried. "I…"

"I'm going, " interrupted Sasuke. "Obviously."

"I'm his cousin! " I spat out. "I've got to – "

"Oh, no you don't, you bitch!"

Sasuke glared at her. "Hinata and I are going. There's neither time nor space to waste. You don't hold any relation to Neji."

Tears were pooling in her eyes. She was truly scared for Neji. "Neji – I _like_ Neji! I'm really a-anxious – "

Tears streamed down, smeared her mascara. "I – please, Hinata!" She turned to me, her eyes begging. "You understand, don't you? I've n-never felt this way about a guy before! I really l-like – "

"We'll call you about how he's doing." Sasuke dragged my hand to a small, silver car.

Not looking back at my former best friend, I rushed into the backseat. Neji was half-sitting, half-laying, one large towel held to his face.

A towel that was no longer white.

I sat down limply. He looked like he was about to crumble any second now.

His hair was streaked with blood.

"N-neji…"

He just shook his head. The side of his face that wasn't hidden had a large bruise.

The car made a swift, sharp turn. Neji swayed, coughing. He toppled down. I took his head on my lap, trying to smooth away his matted hair. He closed his eyes.

It hurt to look at him. I hurt me a lot, seeing him like this.

Through the rest of the car ride, I was fighting tears.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	9. As a Maid: Part One

**Agh...the argument scene didn't go that well, but whatever. I hope you like it...****

* * *

****I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**As a Maid: Part One**

**X**xxxxx

_Temari is fifteen_

**X**xxxxx

_Waning dreams_

_The sprightly beams o__f lights across your face_

_Tread softly, a__s it seems,_

_You tread across my dreams._

**X**xxxxx

We arrived at the nearest hospital. Neji leaned heavily on me, stumbling. I didn't know what had happened to him and I was afraid to know.

Itachi lead Neji to the doctor's room. Sasuke and I were left outside in the waiting room.

I was tremendously tense and high-strung, as I paced the room like a caged tiger.

"Calm down."

I looked up, astonished. Sasuke sat on a couch with his arms folded across his chest. He looked bored.

"I – I can't – "

"Just calm down, okay?"

I stopped walking. I felt like I needed to move, to _do_ something. To help…

After a few seconds I gave up. I started to pace again.

Sasuke laced his fingers together and rested his elbows on his knees. He relaxed his face on his hands, and sat forward. His eyes followed my every step around.

Finally he exhaled loudly and stood up. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me down. I sat on the couch, Sasuke next to me.

"Just stop it," he ordered evenly, laying back. He closed his eyes. "It's annoying."

He was unmoving.

I jumped back up. I couldn't stand this!

"Sit down."

"No!" I cried. Couldn't he see that I was upset? I couldn't do _nothing_?

I wrung my wrists. I checked the time. I bit my nails. I crossed and uncrossed my legs. I bit my lip. I tore at my hair. I checked the time again – only three minutes.

I started tapping my fingers, but a hand behind me strapped around my waist, pulled me down.

"Damn, Hinata. Stop _moving_."

I hated this. I tried to stand back up but he just wrapped both arm around me.

"S-_stop!_"

"Do you promise to stop moving?"

"I – can't – " I clawed at his arm. My bitten, jagged nails dug into his skin. I struggled.

His grip only got stronger.

Finally I went limp. After a few seconds I suddenly kicked his shins and jabbed my elbows into his chest.

He cursed. Standing up, I dragged myself forward, to the wall, and then slid down. I was breathing hard.

I just couldn't take this anymore. I knocked my head against the wall, teas streaming down my face.

I knew I looked like I'd been in a car accident…I didn't care…

He sighed and went over to me, kneeling down. I wanted comfort.

"Don't." He pushed me away roughly.

"I didn't – "

"You're not in your right mind. Stay still. He's going to be fine."

"I – " I was crying, sobbing, with no clue as to why.

"It's not such a big deal."

"Y-yes it is! I'm _worried_, Sasuke…I can't…I don't know! I don't know why…Sasuke…"

"Be quiet. It's not that hard."

I sniffled. It was so pathetic.

At least five minutes passed. "Neji…" I heard myself whisper.

Sasuke tensed. "What about him?"

"What do you _think_?!" I snapped. I was angry at him, angry at his indifference. But most of all I was furious at myself, and I wanted to convey that fury _out_.

"He's – I – I'm worried! Can you be so _indifferent?!_ He's laying there, it's my fault, and I shouldn't have – "

"You can't change the past." He sat next to me.

I think he yawned. Resentment boiled inside me. "But don't you _care_?…"

"No…"

He dodged my fist with a well-aimed open palm. "Stop that. You're not in your right mind."

"Why – why – do you keep _saying_ that?! Are you such a person that you don't care about others? Or are you just a jacka – "

"Shut _up_," he hissed. His face was terse, white. "Don't go there. What my opinion is…is _none_ of your business!"

"But – " I gave a frustrated cry. I wanted so badly to hurt him right now.

"Just shut up!"

"N-_no!_ You don't understand, do you? About others?! You want to break bonds of trust – just that other day – "

"Shut the hell _up!_" he snarled, clenching his fists. "Okay, Hinata! I'm lying! Okay?! Are you happy now?"

He laughed bitterly. "Are you _happy _now? I'm sick; I'm twisted! I'm a jackass. Now will you shut up? Do you hear me – do_ you hear me_?"

"S-s…"

"Shut up!" he yelled in my face. "What do _you_ know about me? You don't know! My parents are never home! I'm alone…what the hell do _you_ know about what it's like to be _alone_?"

"Y-you're not bad, you're not jealous…" I wavered. "P-please…I don't want…"

"Be quiet!" His eyes looked red in the dark lighting, the shadows of his hair. "I want you to _be quiet_!"

"You don't – _know_ – anything! You're just a self-centered – " I cringed – "– rich, condescending brat! You don't know about – "

"Th-that's not true! It's not always – "

"Shut up!" he roared. His face was contorted with rage. "Don't you dare patronize me about anything, you – "

I think I slapped him. But I don't know. When a nurse rushed out, there was a red, angry mark on the side of his cheek.

She led the way to visit Neji. I followed her in a daze.

Sasuke stayed behind in the waiting room.

…I wished that TenTen had came…instead of me…

**X**xxxxx

_Two days later, Tuesday_

Ravished, I started to eat right away. Things at school weren't bad, normal, even. I thought that Sasuke ignoring me would be much harder, but really, it made things easier. Simpler. Seeing him everyday with Sakura didn't hurt...that much...anymore.

Besides, I was used to it.

"You got ramen!" Naruto exclaimed, excited.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"Um...Can I have..."

"No."

He pouted. "But I'm _finished_ alraedy."

"You ate six bowls."

"Hah. That's okay."

We went through this every day.

"Leave her alone," ordered Shikamaru, with a banana. I'd have thought he would be obsessed with pineapples, but apparently bananas were his thing. "You're - "

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Can I sit here?" asled Temari.

I blinked. "Um - "

"Why not?" cut in Kiba. She smiled, sat down next to me.

"This table's getting crowded."

Temari raised her eyebrows at Shikamaru "So..."

"It's troublesome," was all he said. Then he started to eat again. My eyes widened. Usually he explained thoroughly. He only said things like that when someone asked him a favor.

Temari laughed a little; instead, ducking her head down to sip her drink. Her cheeks were pink.

Hm...

**X**xxxxx

It was a Wednesday afternoon, a beautiful, cloudy gray day. The sun shined dimly through the windows. I was chopping celery. Hanabi was doing her homework on the kitchen table, Neji reading a magazine.

I hummed gently to myself while chopping. And then my thoughts had to relate to Sasuke... "Three more days," I heard myself speculate aloud.

"Three more days for what?"

I glanced up, cheeks heated. "Nothing."

Neji stopped reading and set his paper down. "What is it? When you become all flustered like that I know there's something wrong."

I winced when I looked at him. I couldn't help myself. His right eye was swollen and purple. It was healing, of course...there were also numerous bruises, scratches, and cuts outlining his face.

He's gotten into a fight with another player. His own teammate. I didn't know and I didn't want to learn.

"Nothing..."

"I'm curious," he sighed. Hanabi looked up, her attention diverted. She looked between us, as if there were an imaginary line running from me to him.

To get him off my back I tried to respond as casually as possible, "I made a bet and it's going to come to a standstill in three days."

"What bet..."

I really didn't want to repeat _my_ bet. It was never going to happen, the whole kiss thing. But there was a side of me that always thought of _his_ bet - making him smile. I wanted to. I wanted to make him smile.

But it wasn't for anyone else.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Now I _really_ need to know." He stood up with a flourish and walked over to me. In my nervousnessI dropped the knife and it clattered to the floor. "Tell me."

I didn't look up. "N-no...it's nothing big...he's never going to lose...or win, anyway."

"The other guy?"

I stared aross at Hanabi. She was alert, sitting up. I could practically hear her ears becoming bigger. "Yes..."

I quickly finished chopping the celery and wiped my hands on my aprons. I hung up the apron and started to walk out the kitchen. To where, I didn't tknow.

"Wait...no, it's _interesting_. Tell me!"

"Nah," I managed. "It's boring. Nothing big." He followed me into the hallway and to the foyer. And then I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. I blinked, trying not to grimace. Guilt and pity was twisted in my gut.

"Fine. But really, it's no big deal."

I sat on the egg-shell chair, facing away from him. I wasn't about to tell him about my part of the bet, though. "I have to get him to smile in a week. It's already been four days...I have three days left."

He knew nothing about the fight. But this was part of it. "Um...we sort of got in a...quarrel," I said delicately. "So now I really don't know how..."

"Hey, it's easy."

"What is?" Carefully I avoided his gaze. If he noticed he didn't show it.

"You can dress up as someone else, and try to get him to smile. It's not very hard, right? You're an actress."

I contemplated the idea, rolled it up, and tossed it aside. "It didn't exactly fool him the first time, Neji. When I acted, well...I'm not a very good actor. Actress," I corrected myself, and then smiled weakly. "See? I can't even get the terms right."

"But then..." He twirled a piece of my hair. I wished it wasn't so short. "...You were acting as a _boy_ then. Now you can act as another girl. Easier. And simple."

"Yes, but - "

"You were fighting? So that means he probably won't try to talk to you when you're Hinata."

I laughed bitterly. _Not talking to me_ was an understatement. More like not looking at me, trying to keep the farthest distance from me, pretending that I had never existed in this world at all.

"So go as another girl. Maybe then you'll get him tot smile. And at the end, bam! He smiles, you throw off your disguise, and you win the bet."

I laughed again, but at his innocence. It would never work out. "I'm not good at acting, remember? And how will I be another girl? He hates all girls except - "

Right then I was going to blurt out Sakura, but Neji, thankfully, chimed in, "You have loads of disguises. Hanabi's good at dressing up and designs and all that crap." He let go of my hair. "You'll do fine."

I can't believe we'd talked about this so long. "It's stupid! I'll never pull it off."

"Never say never." He gave a short chuckle, and then trailed upstairs, the sounds of his footsteps disappearing. Distatnly I heard the shower running.

_Never say never_? I wondered. Where does he get all his oxymorons? It's completely impossible. Not to mention insane.

**X**xxxxx

_Damn Neji!_

He must have told Hanabi.

"You're going as a girl?" she squealed as soon as I was done eating and we were upstairs in my room. "You're going to trick him!! Oooh, that's so romantic, Hinata!"

"I'm definitely not - "

"Aww! You must really like him, huh? Right?"

"Shut - "

"Sorry," she laughed merrily. Her eyes were large and cheerful, unlike how she'd looked these days - tired and withdrawn from dancing.

I felt guilt..._Damn guilt_, I thought furiously.

"Try this one," she ordered, jumping up. "I know the perfect outfit!"

I stared. "No..."

Fifteen minutes later, I was being dragged to the bathroom, tired and given up. I was wearing a maids' clothing; a short dress that barely reached my knees and a short, scrunchy white blouse.

"That's perfect!" sighed Hanabi, and she collapsed onto the floor, yawning. "I'm tired. I'll take a nap. What time is it?"

"Two fifteen - "

"What? Really?" Her eyes shot open. "You have time to go over to his house!"

"What? No way in hell! I'm n-not going - it was a dumb idea in the first place! - "

"Go on." She pushed me out the bathroom, and placed a large black jacket on me. It reached down, covering the dress except a tiny sliver. It made me look like a...well, slut. I wanted to puke.

"You know where his house is, right?"

"Y-yea..."

"And you want towin this bet, right?"

"Well, that's ob - "

"Go, Hinata! Damn, you can do it."

I stared at her. She _never_ cursed. She was a stickler for not cursing...Innocently she yawned, stepped into her room with a delicate air, and slammed the door.

I went.

His house was twenty minutes away. There weren't people on the streets...lucky public school kids. The grownups were at work. But I knew Sasuke was home. Somehow I felt it.

All doubt nearly evaporated. I believed I could pull this off.

Hanabi had fished up a brown, wavy wig. I was also wearing - beside the skimpy maid outfit - stockings (otherwise I'd freeze) - dangling, huge earrings I'd never wear in my right mind, and she'd also applied blue, shiny eyeshadow. And yes...I was wearing deep blue contacts.

And mascara. And lipstick. And blush.

Basically, I was a prize idiot.

I stepped cautiously on his steps. I knew I looked drastically different, but the hard part would be getting rid of my stutter. I just had to try my hardest at this.

Without the ring of the doorbell, the door opened suddenly.

I stared into black, night-sky eyes.

"You're - who are you?"

"Ah - " I'd rehearsed this before. I wouldn't stutter, I hoped - "I'm Ruka Soneva. I'm the new maid."

His eyes widened. "I didn't hire a maid."

Think _fast_...I couldn't say that his brother hired me because he might find out; "I'm part of a fund. I'm going to clean - "

"I don't need you." He started to close the door.

"No! Listen," I gasped. Part of me felt like falling in hysterics, laughter. If Sasuke knew...! I moved forward. I wanted to convince him. "I'm doing this so you can give money to the poor." I'd heard of something like this before...

"You don't need to be paid?"

"No." This was the last thing I desired; money. "I'm working for a fund called - " I racked my brain. I knew this... "The Rodkee Childrens' Fund." This was a real fund. I exhaled. "You just need to donate to them if you wish."

"...And if I don't...?"

I was getting chilly outside. "I'll still clean for free. I don't mind."

He let me in, watching me silently. Desperately I wised to know what he was thinking.

"If you insist," his voice trailed off. He gestured to the family room. It had the couch I'd slept on. I ddin't want to clean here!

"Um, the kitchen looks dirty," I said lamely.

"Whatever works."

"Um..."

He threw me a blue, clean cloth. "Cleaning lady comes two times a month. It's not that dirty."

I dropped to my knees and started scrubbing. A few minutes passed before I realized he was staring at me with a stunned expression on his face. My cheeks blazed. I looked up, still on my kneees.

"What?" Surprinsly it came out as a stonrg, clear question.

"You - what the hell are you doing?!"

"_W-what?_"

Sasuke came over and kneeled down; took the cloth from me. "You've never cleaned before, correct?"

It was true. I'd never done any housework.

"Here." He went to the sink. "You wet it first..."

Oh.

"_...obviously._ Then you take," he made a motion to a dark green bottle, "a bit of detergent." He dropped me the towel I took it and started scrubbing.

He stayed, sitting at the table. From my angle I could only the top of his hair. I finished scrubbing my side of the kitchen, and started on his. I didn't dare look up. True I'd put on contacts, but...

"You can go now."

"Huh?"

"You don't have to do this side of the kitchen."

"Oh...okay."

I palced the towel near the sink and grabbed my coat. My cell phone fell out. I stuffed it in hastily. Luckily he didn't notice.

"So you're coming back when?"

"Um..." As Ruka I wouldn't know his schedule. "Anything is...fine," I ventured, "My school has a break right now." I was lying blatantly. "Any day is fine."

"Tuesdays, Wednesday, Fridays, weekends. Evenings." He opened the door. "You don't have to come, though."

"No! It's okay. I have nothing else better to do."

No word of thanks or a bye. Firmly, resolutely, he shut the door.

**Sasuke**

I stared after her. A maid...to be specific, a _cleaning_ maid. Huh. I could use that.

* * *

**I know...it doesn't seem very plausible, does it? But still. To make things interesting...ah...lol.**

**Hah! And it was a long chapter this time, too :)**

**Anyways, review...with reflective thoughts. Thank you **chocoGONEsushi

**Oh, and...**

**January 12 - Fixed spelling errors! I spelled Temari as "Teari." Lol :)**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	10. As a Maid: Part Two

**Hi again!! Thank you for the reviews :D**

**Um...I'm updating today because I'm going to be busy...I'm actually a pretty fast updater XD if anyone noticed, three days if the max time I don't update. I know...blah blah.**

**I hope you like this chapter!! I toiled for hours! Lol. Oh, and...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! ;...;**

**

* * *

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**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**As a Maid: Part Two**

**X**xxxxx

_Shikamaru is sixteen_

**X**xxxxx

_Thursday_

At about eleven at night I stepped out the bathroom with a comfortable old white T-shirt and tattered black capris.

Sasuke was still up with a small, dimly lighted lamp, reading some intricate music notes. It was for guitar. He saw me, eyeing the capris with a raised eyebrow. Defiantly I stared back.

"I thought you were _rich_."

"What?" I'd heard what he said, but I was so surprised it was all I could manage.

"Never mind." He placed down the papers. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he switched out the light.

I sighed. It was an obvious sign of dismissal.

I heard his deep, quiet breathing. I wanted to touch him but I knew he still hated me.

Friday after school, I arrived as Ruka Soneva just as Sakura was leaving. She smiled at me. "New maid, huh?"

If I were Hinata Hyuuga...

But I wasn't. And that made all the difference. "Yes," I replied politely.

She smirked and went away, pink hair billowing in the wind.

My fist clenched. What had she been doing at his house? I pushed the door open softly. "Um...Sasuke?"

"What?" He emerged from the shadows in black shorts and a black T-shirt. He was rearranging his shirt. A towel was draped on his shoulders.

"I'm..."

His eyes narrowed. "How did you know my name"

"Your...name?" I repeated faintly. His hair smelled of pomegranate. Enrapturing...

"Yes. Sasuke. Uchiha. How did you kow...?"

"I - um, it's obvious!" I went on, trying not to sound too play-acted. "The Uchihas famously live on this block and have dark hair and dark eyes - " My eyes met his and suddenly I was startled by his look of intensity, "There's Itachi Uchiha and...Sasuke. You're the younger one, right?"

I breathed in, anticipating...

"Hn." He dried his hair. I watched, slightly fascinated.

"What?"

"Oh...nothing." I folowed him into the kitchen. There were papers on the table. "Are you going to give it back to her?" I showed him her homework. "I...I guess she left it here, right?

Why was she here, anyway?" Casual, Hinata...think casual...

"Homework. I finished before her and took a shower." I was relieved. I didn't know...but I was... "What are you cleaning today? You don't have to, you know."

"Oh, but I _want_ to," I interjeted hastily. I wanted him near me, at least, without ignoring or glaring. "Wh-what's there to clean?"

"Nothing. The cleaning lady, believe it or not...came yesterday." He indicated to the shiny floors and countertops. "Do you want to call someone?"

It took me a few seconds to register that he thought someone might pick me up. "I'll stay, then," I decided.

He frowned. "I'm not the most hospitable person," he began. "I don't have much to do."

The only thing I thought he was interested in was - "What about guitar?"

"...How do you know I play guitar?"

I stopped, staring at his collar bone, anywhere but his eyes. "I - I saw your guitar, um, on Wednesday."

Maybe he had a bad memoery.

He dismissed it and started walking past me. For a second he looked like he was about to hit me. He always looked...intense, concentrated.

On a whim I hesitantly asked, "Are you going to play right now?"

"Yes." _Think_ of something Hinata _wouldn't_ do...

"Could you show me?"

Sasuke turned around. To my surprise he laughed. It was quick and astonishing to me - the first time I'd heard him laugh. "I'm not...very...good."

"That's okay! Show me how to play." In breathlessness I'd noted that when he laughed, it was more derisive than happy. It wouldn't count to be a smile, then.

A few seconds passed before I realized he was already upstairs. With a start I jumped up on the stairs. his room was on the right.

He was sitting on the bed with a glossy guitar in his hands. Suddenly If felt dread. I didn't want to learn guitar...I didn't _want_ to be near him! He would find out one way or another. He'd hate me...

A simple and enticing beat slied through the air. _La, la, la, la-la la, la, la, la-la-la, la, la, la-la la, la, la-la-la-la-la..._

Slowly I relaxed and smiled. His hands moved nimbly, flexibly. Player guitar wasn't like anything else. I _felt_ the beat, felt the soundwaves...

"You try."

I was momentarily stunned. "Um...no thanks."

"I thought you wanted to."

I remembered how Hanabi and Neji had convinced me into something I would never want to do. Be a maid. I didn't want to be manipulated like that again.

"No. It's okay."

He didn't press me any further.

He sat there silently, his fingers moving without his will. The beat started again. I had never heard it before. I loved it already.

I looked at the clock - I'd been sitting in this room for twenty minutes!

He stood up, towing his guitar away. "Ready to leave?" It wasn't rude nor courteous. I glanced up. Something went thorugh my mind just then. An electric current - I realized - I realized - he had never once smiled through those twenty minutes, through something he...enjoyed.

_Was it really that freaking hard?! To just smile?_

Withouth thinking I blurted out, "Why don't you ever smile?"

"I don't have a reason to," was his simple and maddeningly effective answer.

"But...that's ridiculous!"

Hsi eyes flashed. Hinata would have, definitely, cringed. I forced my body to stay still. I asked in a deadpan voice, "Why not, then?"

"I - I _don't,_" he snapped in quiet fury. "You can go now."

I stared at him. Through all three forms - Neji, Hinata, and Ruka - he shunned them all. He never showed his feelings, save for bursts of anger.

I was tired of it. "I'll go," I shot back, getting up and walking downstairs. Just in earshot I called, "But I'll go because I want to and not because you told me to."

I ddn't know why I'd said that, but I grabbed the coat and ran out.

Throughout the night, his tune played in my head.

"So?" asked Hanabi that night.

These days Karu was working late shifts. I was stuck with my little sister.

"So?" she ventured again excitedly. "It works, doesn't it? Spill, Hinata!! I'll be your best friend..."

I yawned. "Go to sleep."

"No!" she insissted, though the skin under her eyes was rather dark. "Tell me! Please?"

If this were an online chat she'd put a begging face right there.

"I'm the maid," I sighed. I fought an urge to giggle. "I scrubbed the floor...and he played the guitar. No big deal."

She pouted. "Soething romantic happened, right?"

"No, you idiot. I 'm a girl he just met, remember?"

I was about to close the door but she asked quickly, "Did your acting go well?"

"Yeah. Whatever."

_Saturday_

I knocked on the door, feeling apprehensive. Tomorrow, Sunday, was when the bet expired. I couldn't believe the week had rolled past!

Sasuke opened it, as calm and as stoic as always. At the sight of me he paused, frowning. "I told you that you didn't need to come anymore." Despite that, he let me through, with a reluctant air.

"I want to," I replied simply. There was an unquestionable awkwardness and I didn't want to stay for too long.

Because of this I kept my jacket on.

I felt something hard poke me in the hip. I reached down, annoyed. If Hanabi had stuck an extra pin in the dress to hold it in place -

It was the cell phone. My hand knocked it the wood floor. Hurriedly I rushed down to retrieve it, but my fingers only met cold wood.

I stood up. "G-give it back."

He was frowning, looking at the cell phone, inspecing it.

"Tha-that's mine!"

And then I caughed sight of his eyes. They were furious, shooting animosity.

"Are you Hinata?" he suddenly yelled at me. I stood frozen. My first impulse would to run and hide in defense. I hated arguments.

My second impulse would yell something back.

Something Hinata would never do...

Thoughts ran through my head, making me only slightly aware of his coal-black glare. _No...I can't cringe, can't gflinch, can't stumble. Smooth. Be...calm. Articulate. I can't yell, shout, or kiss...like that one time..._

_I..._

I forced myself to stare at him. His hair was wild, his mouth open in a furious scowl. I thought I heard his heartbeat. Crazily I wanted to touch his chest at a time like this.

"I'm not," I said finally, with the most self-confidence I had ever portrayed. "I am Ruka Soneva. You don't have to scream at me."

His shoulders slumped considerably. He blinked, actually looked surprised. He took a few steps back. "I - I'm sorry...I mistook you for...someone...else..."

A flash of relief coursed through my veins. I wanted to sit down badly.

"But wait...this cell phone looks _exactly_ like hers," he murmured, almost to himself. I looked at him, moving forward. I wanted to grab the cell phone, take it away. Take all traces of Hinata Hyuuga away...

Without casting a glance at me he flipped it open.

I froze.

I saw the screensaver; I'd changedd it to a flower yesterday. At least he wouldn't recognize that.

"Can I have it _back_, now?" I demanded. Now my voice shook, showing my inner self.

His grip slackened and he nodded. Wordlessly he started to hand it back to me, just as flashy red words appeared.

They were huge and hard to miss.

_**Welcome, Hinata! You have zero missed calls.**_

I gulped. The look in his eyes told me that he'd seen, too.

_Uh, oh._

* * *

**Yes, I know. Cliffie.**

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**Thanks for reading!**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	11. As a Maid: Part Three

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**As a Maid: Part Three**

**X**xxxxx

_Ino is fifteen years old_

**X**xxxxx

"Um, I have to go!" Rapidly I smiled before sprinting to the door. I didn't care about the damned cell phone. When I reached it I tried to open it - but it was _locked_. _Crapcrapcrap!!_

My house wasn't like this...it had a different lock, it had several...

If his house was locked from the inside - There - I turned the lock and tried again. It opened - I fumbled, swinging the door.

_I ran out. He didn't even chase after me! I was saved! Thank Kami-sama._

**X**xxxxx

**Take Two**

A firm, unyielding hand clamped down on mie. The cold weather flooded in. I sat down hard, averting my eyes. I was still defiant. Whatever happened...I would not admit that I was Hinata.

I hated him for finding me out.

I hated myself even more.

He stood there, breathing hard, looking down on me.

_If...I..._

A wave of bravado swept throughout. It was false courage, only an inkling of true hope. But I..._ I'm Ruka Soneva...Im' not..._

"Hinata. It's you, isn't it?"

Boldly I stood up. "I'm _not Hinata!_" I yelled.

Wind ruffled his hair. He looked confused, angry...and hurt. He yelled back, "Then how do you have her cell phone?" There was still doubt in his mind.

I could work with doubt.

_I could convince him._

"I," I uttered, "am_ not_ Hinata. I...I'm her cousin. I'm staying at her house." Now that it was out, it was easier. But I couldn't tell from his expression. I continued slowly, "I have her cell phone because she has another one...the newest edition. I - I really am R - "

"Okay. Okay." He let go of my wrist. I didn't shake it though it hurt. I wouldn't show weakness.

Gradually he leaned closer. A wry smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"But I still don't believe you."

_He smiled._

I slumped down, spent. _He smiled_. _What should I do now?!_

The smile disappeared as fast as it had been there.

"Prove it." His teeth clenched in the beginnings of a snarl. "If you are actually Hinata, I'll hate you forvere. If you're not..." He shrugged slightly. "Prove it." He moved closer, his hand against the wall next to me. "Don't lie..." he whispered, "I've endured too many lies in my life..."

I nodded faintly. "I'm not," I repeated. "I'm..._not."_

He opened the door even wider. I shivered uncontrollably.

"Go tell Hinata I have her cell phone, then. Tell her to come here. And I'll ask her about you. Maybe I will believe you..." His voice trailed off. "It depends."

I stumbled out. On his steps I tripped and fell. My ankle burned. I felt a trickle of blood down my cheek.

And suddenly he was right there. Suddenly he was holding me up. "Watch out." He stared at me, the cut on my cheek. His hand reached up...

I wrenched away and blindly started running.

_I was a failure._

**Sasuke**

I sat on the front porch steps with Hinata's cell phone in my grasp.

Ruka...I saw her wide blue eyes, frightened and hating me. She was...different. Somehow.

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe she wasn't the stuck up little girl Hinata was.

**X**xxxxx

The door was closed. I banged and kicked. Hanabi opened it, looking cross.At the sight of me she ushered me in, worried. "What's wrong, Hinata?"

"I - " I gasped. "I don't..want..." I ran upstairs and locked the door. I peeled off the contacts and dragged myself into my own clothes. Jeans and T-shirt.

A knock started on the door just as I'd ripped off the wig.

"Hinata?" It was Neji.

I opened the door. "Wh-what?"

"He found out?"

"No..." Compulsively I sat down and hugged my knees to my chest. "Neji...I don't know what to do!" He raised his eyebrows. I couldn't help myself; I leaned forward, told him everything that happened.

When I was finished he sighed.

"So do you know...what you need to do now?"

I shood my head heavily.

"You need to be Hinata and act like you don't know what's happening."

I just closed my eyes, rocked back and forth.

"That's the only way."His index finger found my cheek. "You're bleeding."

"Nnn-no..." It stung badly. Then it hit me. Sasuke would know. He'd seen the cut. How would I conceal it?

I made biting sounds, squeezing my eyes shut. "Punch m-me."

"..." He stared. "No way!"

"Punch me!" I cried, rubbing my cheek My finger came away with smeared blood. "Punch - here," I directed, poiting to my cheek. "That way it'll swell, and it won't only be a cut. It'll be one huge bruise."

His eyes widened. "No."

"Then _how_?"

"What?"

"PUNCH ME!" I screamed. "He's going to _know_, he's going to _see_, he's going to _hate me!_" My voice diminished to a whisper. "He saw me get cut. He's going to know - oh hell! Just punch me."

Neji uderstood, but shook his head. "That's not going to help anytihng We've got to think of something else to disguise it. I won't hurt you."

"But..."

There was no point...Sasuke would know.

"Stickers," Neji said. He got up, tiredly, and walked to his room. Soon he returned with a thin paper. There were red heart stickers on it. He also held out a wet towel.

"Here."

With shaking hands I rubbed the towel on my face. "Thanks," I murmured gratefully.

_I won't hurt you._

He didn't say anything, but pressed a large red sticker to my cheek where the cut was. "That'll hold," he confirmed, and pressed more stickers to my face. "Say that you just got back from some strange party."

I nodded. His warm fingers touched my skin. "Go wash up," he ordered.

"O-okay." I staggered off to the bathroom.

When I was done I looked like Hinata...with three huge stickers on each side of my face. It was perfectly symmetrical.

_Thanks?...Neji..._

Then I grimaced. It would hurt to tears off the stickers.

"I'll drive you."

"Um, okay, that's fine."

I got into his car, pointed the way. When we arrived Neji said, "Hurry up and get the cell phone."

I sighed. I hated this house, this street, these horrid memories...the party seemed so long ago, but now it was all coming back to me. But I had to get Sasuke straight, to convince him.

He was waiting near the window. I pushed open the door and shut it firmly behind.

Sasuke offered me the cell phone. I reached for it.

He forced it out of reach. "First tell me about Ruka."

I blinked. So I had to do this...I had no other choice...

_He thinks I'm some spoiled brat._

"She's my cousin," I said in a cool tone. "Can I have my cell phone back, please?" Madness swelled and I saw red.

"No."

_He thinks I'm some stuck up little bitch._

I gritted my teeth.

What happened to those earlierdays? I had thought...

**X**xxxxx

_A tap on my shoulder. I turned around. "Are you really leaving?" Sasuke asked. I couldn't read his expression._

_I nodded numbly._

_His grip on my shoulder tightened. He turned me around to face him. I blinked dazedly._

_"Give me your number," he whispered._

**X**xxxxx

I lunged forward, knocking him against the wall.

**X**xxxxx

_His expression failed to change as he stood up, stiffly._

_"Sorry."_

_"I – It's okay."_

_I placed my arms on my knees and shook the covers off, looking up at him, puzzled._

_He must have carried my onto the couch…my blush deepened. And then I had to comprehend I was in the wrong place at the wrong time._

_"I've got to g-go!" I realized with a strange reluctance. I jumped up and ran out the front door._

_"What…?"_

_All of sudden I felt flustered. A sea of unfamiliar faces stared at me. But the basketball game still continued. In my peripheral vision I saw Neji falter._

_"I – I don't know…"_

_He half-smiled. "Go outside?" He gestured to the hundreds of eavesdroppers. I didn't know why or why not, but…_

_I followed him._

**X**xxxxx

He jerked back, falling to the hardwood floor. I managed to crawl on top of him, trying to force him immobile. He raised the cell phone at a arm's length away.

_He thinks...he thinks..._

"Sasuke!" I shrilled. "Give - it - back!"

I ever knew a smirk could be so maddening.

Easily he flipped over, my breath escaping my lungs. He stood up in a leisure way and stuffed the cell phone into his back jeans' pocket.

I clenched my fists. I really couldn't take it now.

"I don't _want_ the cell phone anyway!" I snapped. I advanced on him purely and purposely out of intimidation rather than taking action. Taking large strides, I shoved him. "I hate you!" I yelled.

I felt illogical tears coming. _Why run?_ "I really, really hate you!" _Why not the...truth...?_

He smiled.

"I - you - "

He shook his head, hair over his eyes.

I jabbed af inger to his chest. "I saw you!" I turned my heel and stomped off.

_I can't believe he's made me so angry...Damn! Damn!_

_I'll get my revenge...I swear it._

_Sunday_

I missed him. I did.

It was like my entire soul was split cleanly in two. One side was Hinata. she despised the cold bastard that Sasuke was.

Another side was Ruka. Sasuke hadn't been deliberately rude to her.

And she missed him.

Finally I sighed. Today I had nothing better to do. I'd started tennis lessons again, proving just how much I'd forgotten about the sport and its retarded scoring system. And the forehand volley...I won't even say.

It was nine o'clock. Hanabi had some ubiqitious dance sleepover. Neji had a party that probably would last until four o'clock. Karu had a meeting at some far away city. I missed them all.

I was alone. Life sucked.

Oh, and I missed him too.

**Monday**

At speech class I flunked the oral report. My voice was scratchy and didn't project to half the room. I did'nt care. I was the last person to present.

Right after I was done Kakashi asigned another project. With partners.

Guess who I got.

None other than the pink haired bitch.

As I took a ahoswer I decided I could not take this anymore I wrapped myself up in a huge white towel and ran out the bathroom. Sasuke wasn't there.

I'd come out to harangue him about takig al the warm ater. And basically ruining my life.

But he was...gone.

It was ten thirty. Where...?

Something white caught my eyes. I peered under his covers and his black jacket, where it was poking out.

There. It was. My piece of crap. Cell phone.

Grimacing I grasped it. There was a note attached.

_The only reason I took it was to anger you._

I felt a burst of fury.

_Calm down, Hinata...always, always, you keep anger botted up until you explode. Calm down._

I breathed out, shaking. My vision blurred.

It really wasn't the note that got me to explode. And it wasn't the fact that the cell pone was there all along. It wasn't even that I was freezing cold because of the stupid shower.

The reason I exploded was because the door opened, and in came Sasuke and a gigling, blushing Sakura.

But I held it in well. Nicely. I give myself credit for this. Quietly I whispered, "Get. Out. Of my...room..._Now_."

Sakura went all wide-eyed and "Who, me?" she looked beseechingly at Sasuke, and then pouted.

"Bye, Sa-su-ke," she purred, kissing him one last time. She left. I hated the sound of her clicking barecelets.

Silence. I looked at him.

He looked at me in a bored way.

Then, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU TOOK IT TO ANGER ME?!"

His mouth twisted, and he uncrossed his arms. "I presume you got the cell phone, hn?"

I glared at him. "You're a piece of work. Sasuke! Or should I say, a piece of shit?" His eyes flashed.

"Now, Hinata, let me tell you this - "

"I DON'T CARE!" I yelled, biting my lip from pure frustration. "But no, you're Mr. Perfect, you cant steal cell phones, you can hang around with multiple girls on each arm - "

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I'm talking about Sakura, you dummy! Do you actually like her? Do you - "

"No," he replied evenly.

I blinked.

He smiled a crooked smirk. "That doesn't count, by the way," he informed. "It's not a real smile."

I clenched my fists. My palms were sweaty. The cell phone was slipping.

"And why are you wearing a towel? Fashion sense?"

It snapped. I don't know what but it could hae been patience, or conscience, or whatever.

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU USED UP ALL THE HOT WATER, YOU PERVERT!" I shrieked. "AND I'M LEFT WITH ALL THE COLD WATER!!"

I ran forward in a swift movement, pushed him by the chest.

He stumbled back.

"And stay _out_!" I threw the cell phone at him as a last sign of adding insult to injury.

I slammed the door, locking it, and walked to my bed.

After a few seconds I heard the lock turn. I went to the door just as it cracked barely open.

"How...you..."

"I have the key, stupid." He spoke through the crack. "You're towel...it's slipping."

"I'm not stupid!" I snarled, and kicked the door closed. This time I pushed a chair to the ock. And then I managed his bed.

I sighed. I had a headache.

I was just about to fall asleep on my bed when I realized the shower was still running. It had been, for the whole time.

I got up to switch it off.

And it was still spouting cold water.

At seven o'clock the next day I woke up. It was dark and moonlight was swallowed by the shadows.

Quietly I pushed his bed away from the door. It was tedious work. The chair was easier. I unlocked the door and opened it, curious.

Something soft knocked into my legs. My knees buckled, winded.

Sasuke was asleep, breathing gently, his head in my lap. In the darkness I blushed. He must have been sitting right against the door.

**X**xxxxx

_Circumspectly, though, I watched him, the rise of his chest and his slow, deep breathing._

_He twitched slightly and leaned back, sliding along the couch until he rested sideways, his legs on the ground._

_My cheeks burned. His head was on my stomach, his hand on my mid thigh._

_I couldn't feel anything; the covers were thick and too, too warm._

_And my feet were growing numb._

**X**xxxxx

While I sat there awkwardly, for what seemed like forever, he twitched. He moaned, shivering.

I froze. I didn't dare move. Moonlight swathed half his face, making him seem almost ethereal.

He turned to his side.

_When he's sleeping...he's so beautiful...so angelic...peaceful..._

_My seraph..._

His elbow dug into my hip. I winced and moved back quickly. My head bumped into the side of the chair.

"Ow!" I muttered.

He stirred.

I grabbed a pillow and placed it under his head. His hair was so, so soft. Carrying a blanket, I wrapped it around him.

He murmured again. This time his eyes opened.

I was right on top of him, tucking in the blankets from the other side.

"What the h-heck are you doing?" he slurred.

I got off, feeling embarrassed. "I - I was just - it's not what you think!"

He sat up, rapidly alert. "I wasn't thinking anything."

"No - you were sitting at the door; I opened it- "

"And one thing leads to another."

"No!" I protested. "I just got a blanket and a pillow - "

"I didn't mean it that way, either." Awkard silence fell.

Finally he said," I'm going back to sleep." He lay down on the floor, though his eyes remained open.

I laid, stomach down, watching him. He really wasn't rude...just misunderstood...by me, ultimately... But I'd felt true rage and frustration. Mayber it was all my fault, all my fault...that -

"Stop it."

"W-what?"

He turned, his eyes shining oddly. "You were glaring at me."

I was surprised. "G-glaring? I wasn't!"

But he just sighed and burrowed under his covers.

"I wasn't _glaring_," I started. "I was - was just - "

"You were." He closed his eyes now. "I don't blame you."

"I _wasn't!"_ I said but he just shook his head.

A few moments later his chest rose and fell gently.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08/**


	12. As a Maid: Part Four

**I looked back to my other chapters. I know they are spelling errors...sorry...**

**Naruto's birthday party is next :)**

**

* * *

**

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**As a Maid: Part Four**

**X**xxxxx

_Gaara is sixteen years old_

**X**xxxxx

_Tuesday_

There was a letter in the mail to Naruto's birthday party, October 10th. Today. The last words jumped out at me.

_And bring a date, too ;) _

_Naruto!!_

I didn't think I would go. Besides, I had better things to do.

I decided to go to Sasuke today. I wanted to.

I ripped off the stickers. The cut still looked nasty. It stung horribly. I'd guess that the stickers didn't help in healing it.

Same old disguise, but this time I didn't use any lipstick. I hated it...plus it looked bad on me. Hah.

It was six o'clock when I walked out the house. In my mind I composed how I'd act. Ruka didn't know about Sakura...Ruka didn't know where her cell phone was..

The door opened slowly.

"Hey," he said casually.

"Hi.

"I'm sorry about that time."

"It's okay." I wondered if he actually believe me.

"I'm going to a party," said Sasuke. "I won't be needing you."

"Oh." I blinked. I'd gotten the same letter, but...

"It's my friend...his birthday party."

_Stupid, stupid_! I lectured myself. _You knew, you just had to come, didn't you? _I honestly didn't know whether to return home, be Hinata, and got to the party, or beg Sasuke to take me as Ruka.

I wanted to go...

"Do you have a ride home?"

"N-no..."

He sighed audibly. "I'll drive you to - "

"No!" I spoke out hastily. "Can I go to the party?"

He looked at me as if I were crazy. "Why would you go to a party if you don't even know anyone there?"

Oh, but I _did_.

"I - can I go...?"

The letter had said it was best to bring a date, so...

"...as a date?"

Sasuke stopped, eyed me strangely. "You don't cross me as my type. Besides, you're in..."

"A short dress? It's okay! I don't mind."

"I don't know." He was being hesitant. He grabbed th coat and started out the door.

"Please?" I pressed. I didn't want to take no for an answer. "I'll be your date," I repeated.

He stared at me. "…"

"Please?"

"It – it doesn't matter," he started. "I don't care. Do as you wish."

"Th-thank you!" Luckily he didn't notice my stammer. In my mind his words played over and over again like a broken recorder. _You don't cross me as my type. You don't cross me as my type. _

_**You don't cross me as my type...**_

I got into his car. He drove silently, quickly, his brow tense.

When we arrived at a comfortable three-story house with a beautiful red garden, Sasuke didn't even bother waiting for me.

I really hadn't expected anything more, though…

"Sasuke!" yelled Naruto excitedly. "Thanks for coming!" Then he saw me. His enthusiasm overflowed. "Look! You brought a daaate!! Who's the lucky giiiiirl??"

I was embarrassed but tried not to show it. "I'm, Ruka Soneva," I said quietly, trying to laugh it away.

"Are you close to Sasuke? I mean…" His eyes glittered knowingly. "Are you…?"

Sasuke of course, chose not to answer. Damn. I took a small breath, smiling falsely. "He and I are _this_close," I answered, grinning.

Sasuke shot me a death glare before entering. _If you want to play that way,_ his eyes seemed to hiss,_ I've had plenty of experience also._

Naruto was completely oblivious. "Sakura-san, Kiba, Temari, Chiyo…" He rattled on a list of name. Kami, he was popular! "Kiba…Shino…Gaara, they're all here," he finished, beaming.

We entered a large room with dozens of colorful banners. It was very, very dark save for the disco light.

"…Hell," muttered Sasuke. He seemed to shrink back, to my surprise.

"Everyone's here!" Naruto announced. The girls laughed and applauded. "We're playing a little game…"

It was called Truth or Dare. Rules, everyone already knew.

_I hate this_, I contemplated, shrugging off my jacket, and sitting down.

Sakura sat on the other side of me. When she saw I was sitting next to her beloved Sasuke she guh-_lared. _She mouthed something rude to me but I deliberately averted my gaze from hers.

"First up…" A happy-go-lucky Naruto spun a beer bottle.

"Kiba!" He spun it a second time. It rocketed off to a few giggling girls. It pointed straight at Temari.

"Temari gets to choose what to ask or make you do," he said to Kiba, who cursed.

Temari asked,"Truth or dare?"

"Truth…"

Her eyes widened and she frowned. "How much do you weigh?" This evoked a loud laugh.

"…One hundred…I think. I was last weighed seven years ago." He wore a visible smirk.

Kiba grabbed the bottle and spun it. It landed on Sakura. She laughed. The second time was…Sasuke.

I blinked, my mouth dry.

He asked calmly, "Truth or dare?"

She fluttered her eyelashes, smiling seductively. She truly was beautiful compared to me. _Jealousy…_

"Dare, Sasuke…"

"Hm…I dare you to…"

I watched him. He seemed to be enjoying himself…"Say 'hi.'"

Sakura's eyes widened in fury. "_What?!"_ she spat.

"Do it."

"Hi!" she snapped.

She got up and twirled the bottle slowly. It landed on Shino. And then Naruto.

"Truth."

"Hmm! This isn't fun!" scowled Naruto. "Do you like any girls in here?"

"…No."

A few guys snickered rudely.

Naruto's scowl deepened. I felt a flash of sympathy for him. It _was _his birthday, after all…

I would do a dare simply to make him feel better.

A few more rounds came up with everyone doing truths – apparently Chiyo loved bacon, Rock Lee worked out for twenty hours a week, Chouji was on a grapefruit diet, Shikamaru needed five hours to do his hair properly for the desired effect.

At every turn Naruto was unimpressed.

Several more turns came by and by. Everyone seemed to deflate, their enthusiasm slowing down.

And then it landed on me.

Naruto spun it. It landed on Gaara.

"Truth or dare?" he inquired, expecting truth…

"Dare!"

Gaara eyed me carefully. The gears in his head seemed to be turning. "…Hug every…guy…in this room."

"_What?!"_ It was Sakura, her eyes blazing in fury. "That's – "

"Do it."

I lurched up. I couldn't believe this!

I was extremely aware of the shortness of my skirt. I felt coldness and I hated the stares.

Kiba was first. To my surprise, he shot me a look of sympathy before hugging me quickly. I smiled in gratefulness.

Then Chouji. I had to crush a bag of his chips to hug him.

And then Kankuro. His hug was wiry and powerful. I felt myself beginning to blush…

Shikamaru. He didn't want to hug me but he sighed. "How troublesome," he muttered, looking across the room at Temari. I felt a pang of betrayal.

After mostly all the guys – by this time I felt like a total slut. Bigger than Sakura. I hated it.

It was Gaara who was next. I gave him the no-nonsense quick, letting go type of hug when I felt myself being pulled in his arms.

"She's my girl," he announced, his mouth twisting. "You see her? She' _mine_. No one else's."

This was received by dozens of catcalls and whistles. My cheeks burned and I pushed him away, half-crawling to my old spot.

"You haven't – wait, Ruka," called Naruto, "You missed Sasuke."

I looked up to meet _his_ usual shadowy gaze. I felt cold, and then a burning sensation that prickled up my arms. He was so close.

And I was supposed to hug him.

And then there was a flicker of pity in his eyes, He understood…

I reached up and wrapped my arms around him.

After a nanosecond he stiffened and pulled away.

I don't know what happened, but I didn't want to let go. I don't know why…I just wanted him close…

He saw it at a different light. "_So you want to play that way!" _He muttered under his breath. "I've dealt with whores like you

Roughly he pushed me away. I felt coldness hit my chest.

Rejected, flashed huge red letters on my eyelids. I blinked.

And the party went on.

Across from me, Sakura was broadly smirking.

After another two rounds of Truth and Dare Naruto was livened up again and he jumped around. He turned off the remaining lights and opened the curtains slightly. The glossy wood floor shone.

_It was a dance..._

Everyone laughed and joked around, choosing partners.

I didn't want to dance...I just wanted to go home. I was shivering and had my dignity down to the size of a mole.

Sasuke denied all offers. Finally, waiting it out, everyone else having a date, he turned to me. "Do you want to...?"

There was a jolt in my chest. Happiness flooded my senses. _I wanted to dance with him so badly._

And then I remembered...

_"You don't cross me as my type...__You don't cross me as my type..."_

_**You don't cross me as my type...**_

"N-no," I whispered. I shook my head vainly, trying to erase the memories. "I want to dance, but..."

"But what?" There was no light reflecting in his eyes. I wanted to be close to him. I'd never felt this...

I licked my lips and bit my tongue. I clenched and unclenched my fists. My teeth were chattering.

"But what, Ruka?" he asked, slightly louder, over the loud blare of the music.

I took a few steps back.

_**You don't cross me as my type...**_

"Nnnno," I mumbled. "I - I'm not Ruka...I'm not..." My voice was shaking. The words came out blurred. "I don't want to dance...please, I don't want to be here!" My voice rose to a wail. A few onlookers stared over at us.

Sasuke's mouth tightened. He moved away from me. "Fine," he said tensely.

He moved away and was swallowed up by the crowd.

Later I saw him with a girl...a girl with pink hair...

_Sasuke...I've been alone all alone...I don't know how to...speak up..._

_I'm sorry...Sasuke...Sasuke..._

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	13. Hinata or Ruka?

**Okay.**

**Vote!!**

**In the next chapter...**

**Should Hinata be "Hinata" or "Ruka" when she confesses to Sasuke??**

**Thank you!!**

**Arigatou x 1000000!!**

**Blue Christmas...**


	14. Unveil

**I was listening to a sad song when I wrote this...**

**Well, it's finally here:) **

**Unveil **

* * *

I am Hinata Hyuuga 

**X**xxxxx

_Hinata has shoulder-length raven hair._

_She's about 5'6._

**X**xxxxx

_Wednesday_

It was late, very late, but I couldn't fall asleep. There were images and words revolving in my head…I couldn't concentrate, or even close my eyes.

So they stayed open…

_Flashback to Tuesday after the dance – _

I got into his car silently and looked out the window, down in my lap, anywhere but him.

He drove quickly, tensely, his knuckles white.

When we reached my house he stopped. I got out and muttered a quick thanks and a bye.

He never looked up once.

When I was alone I made my way to the door. Who couldn't I be simply friends with him? Was it really that hard? I hated being Ruka. And he hated me any way, any form I took.

Or was it me…?

If this continued…sooner or later the inevitable would happened and I would rip off my disguise.

_Saturday_

"Sasuke?" He was lying on his bed stomach down. "Sasuke…"

"What?"

I walked beside him and knelt down. "What's wrong?"

"No-othing."

"You're…"

"What?" He turned to me. "Go…away." His eyes were veiled and he spoke as if he had trouble focusing.

"Sasuke…"

"_What? _Spit it out." He reached out and touched my hair. Softly his finger traced down. "You have small ears," he muttered.

I blushed, ducking my face down. His hand touched my chin and forced it up suddenly. He pressed his mouth –

"Ss…" It was electrifying – warm…He deepened the kiss.

It was then I tasted the alcohol.

I pulled away, though strangely reluctant. I could hear my heart beating a thousand times a second.

"Hinata?" he mumbled drowsily.

"Y-you're drunk."

"Nnno…" His eyes seemed clear and he leaned closer, barely on the edge of the bed.

"You're drunk, Sasuke."

"No. I'm not." He leaned over and grabbed my hand, which was resting on the bed. "Hinata."

He pulled me closer. I stumbled on my knees.

"Sasuke! You're not…"

Pressing me to him he wrapped one arm around my waist. He lowered his face to mine roughly.

"Hnh," I breathed, wanting this. Somewhere in the hazy sea of my mind a thought surfaced. I didn't want – _no, _I _didn't_ want this –

"Sasuke…" His eyes were closed.

Just then he murmured, "I love you." I felt a stirring deep inside. He fell to the ground on top of me.

"Hinata…"

"I – I – I'm Ruka, too," I gasped, feeling intensely uncomfortable. "I'm Ruka – I'm – I – "

He rolled over. I was tremendously anxious to his response. "Sa – "

"Shut up."

I stood up, backing away, fear in my chest. My mouth swam with alcohol. I was light headed.

"I don't know what I did…" he hissed. "Just get out."

I didn't want to see him like this…it was hurting…I ran out, remembering the feeling…

The next day in early morning I heard the doorbell, atrociously loud. I cursed and got up. I was in a long-shirted T-shirt and pajamas, but I couldn't change now.

Neji stepped out in his bunny slippers. "Who is it?" he said sleepily.

"I'll get it." I slogged downstairs. The clock read 6:37.

I opened the door and stopped in my tracks.

It was Sasuke, looking out of place on my doorstop. He grabbed me by the shoulders, stepping in.

"Sasuke – "

"I was drunk!" he yelled, shaking me, his eyes wild. "Okay?" His cheeks were deathly white.

"You s-said you weren't."

"I _was_," he snapped. "As an after birthday thing, Naruto and the guys went over to my house…"

I wondered something irrelevantly. "And was Sakura there, too?"

"Y – " His eyes narrowed. "It doesn't matter – "

"It _does_ matter!" I cried furiously. "You said you loved – "

"_I was_ – "

"But you didn't – "

"I was fucking _drunk_! I didn't mean a work I said!"

"Well," I tried to fight the rising anger that was surfacing, "_I_ meant what _I_ said!"

"Amuse me," he said darkly. "I don't care what the crap you say. I don't give a damn. I don't even fucking remember!"

"And I don't care either!" I yelled back. Why was it important…that he knew me as _Hinata_ and _not Ruka_? I hated Ruka and I wanted to speak out. But he was letting me, he was –

"You're such a bas – "

"That's nice and well," he stormed heatedly. "And you can just shove your words right back up your – "

"I'M RUKA!!" I screamed at him. "I'm Ruka and I _confessed_ it and you _forgot_ – and – and – " I was babbling, I was stupid, I was – oh, damn.

He stopped and looked at me. As the realization hit the look turned into a furious glare.

"You _look_ bitchy enough."

I blushed furiously. "Sasuke – S-sasuke – "

"J-just – just…" He sighed and turned around slowly. "I – I just don't care. I've lost all trust in you completely." He paused. "You really did fool me," he muttered quietly. "I hate…"

He walked out.

My confidence shattered. I collapsed on the ground and cried.

"Hinata…" Neji started down the stairs.

"Leave me alone!"

I heard his quiet footsteps walk away. No…I wanted him here…anyone…to sympathize.

And I? I was genuinely hating my weakness…it didn't matter, though. I would see him again on Monday. A day away...

"Sasuke."

He stopped, not turning around. "Don't talk to me," he uttered, every syllable etching in my mind as a piece of ice, "you worthless bitch."

And then he went on, walked away, as if he'd never talked to me into the first place.

**X**xxxxx

_And you give yourself away…and you give...and you give.. _

_My hands are tired… _

_My body…nothing wins…nothing… _

_And you give yourself away… _

_With or without you...oh I can't live……with or without you… _

Fist clenches eyes narrow mouth tightens tears start.

But I wiped them away. It was my own fault. I would need to unravel this…I just wanted this to end, for him to forgive me.

Speech class

"Sasuke…"

He stopped doing his work and turned around this time. I heard a flurry of whispers and I knew there were stares. Kakashi's back was turned.

Sasuke looked at me with great disdain. Out of all his masks I disliked this one the most.

"Sasuke. Forgive me," I said urgently, trying to keep my voice low.

Something took place then – it was a cold, arrogant smile, a smirk on the face I knew so well yet so little of.

"No."

And he turned back around.

Lunch

He sat at a different table. One with all his fangirls. I hope it would be unprotected and he gets Herpes.

After classes

"Sasuke," I tried again, my voice breaking. He pressed the button to the stereo and music started, deafening and shaking the walls around us.

I bit my lip and stared down.

Lights out

I stepped out the bathroom in my pajamas and marched right over to his bed. "I'm sorry, Sasuke."

He pulled the covers over his head.

"…Uchiha…Sasuke."

"Leave me alone."

I was fed up, with him and my own guilt. "…Would it be better if I said sorry as _Ruka_, then?"

Slowly he peeked out. He looked on coldly. "I've lost all trust in you. Go away."

"No. I'm serious! If dressed as Ruka – "

"Ruka was better than you'll ever be!" he lashed out.

"…I…" I said quietly. "I _am_ Ruka."

"That's the whole damn point! You don't know when you've stepped over the line! You think you can just parade around without consequences? You're such a spoiled brat, thinking you're so rich and all that!"

"…" My eyes smarted but I was coldly infuriated.

He calmed down, turning away, his temper once more in check. "Never," he bit out, "will I forgive you."

"Sasuke!" I wanted to hit something, "Sasuke…just…just – agh! _Ooo!_ You make me so mad!" I struck my palm against his emotionless face.

His eyes flickered dangerously. "You…slapped me."

"Too right I did!" I yelled. I slapped him again. "And that's for not forgiving me!"

"I won't forgive you. You don't deserve it."

I stood there shaking, regretting my actions. I shouldn't have slapped him...I shouldn't have been Ruka. I shouldn't have took the damn bet…To think this all started with that…

"Sasuke…by the way…y-you won the bet. Congratulations."

And then I sighed and crawled into my bed.

_What a fool I am…to think…_

Lunch next day 

"What's up with Sasuke-teme today? And yesterday! He always sits over there!"

"…Maybe he's getting a lotion from his fangirls."

"Lotion?" Naruto asked, his face comically scrunched up.

"His face is purple on the left. Funny…didn't see it yesterday," Shikamaru answered, eating a banana.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	15. Understatement

**Sorry for the sloooooooooow update!! I just lost a Spelling Bee, lol XD**

**Sobs, sobs, whatever.**

**Here it is.**

**I am Hinata Hyuuga **

**Understatement**

* * *

**X**xxxxx

_Naruto has spiky blonde hair._

_He's about 5'11._

**X**xxxxx

"You're going on a field trip?"

I blinked and stopped cleaning for an instant, soapy water dripping down my elbow. "I am?" He took the sponge from me.

"It says so on your schedule."

"And how_ exactly do you know this?"_

"It was laying open on your desk."

I wiped my hands. "So you just _enter_ my room?" Unintentionally my voice was filled with accusation.

"Yeah," he replied, unabashed, his eyes bright. "You know how my room is practically bare. Like a prison cell."

"So you go to _my_ room and look at _my_ stuff - "

"And sleep on your bed and wear your clothes and read your notes - "

"...Neji, stop it."

"It's true, though..." He dropped the sponge into the sink and I glared at him.

"Are you serious?"

"No.I don't wear your clothes."

"But you - "

"Hey, don't look at this - "

"_ - snoop_ in _my_ room?!"

" - the wrong way."

"There's nothig else better to do," he added, concealing a smile. "And your notes in speech class are interesting."

I felt lightheaded, the truth sinking in, horribly clear.

Gently he pried my fingers off the sponge, looking undecided. He continued, "You don't pay attenion much, do you?"

There was a splotchy blush on my cheeks, I could tell. "No," I muttered tightly." But I also don't look through people's stuff."

I turned my foot. Inwardly I wasn't very mad but I was petulant, childish.

"The field trip tomorrow - pack some clothes," he called. "You'll have to stay for one night."

"Good to know I won't be seeing you!" I yelled back.

_On the bus_

I sat near the window. No, near wouldn't suffice. I sat _hugging_ it, pressed against it.

Or, as far away from Sasuke as I could. Tsunade, in order to have the least confusion, commanded for us to sit with our roommates.

He shifted also, balancing as close to the edge of the seat as he could possibly and humanly go, laying one arm on the back of the seat in front of us to steady him. When the bus made a sharp turn his knuckles turned white.

I dug in my heels.

_Uncomfortable us_, I thought wryly.

We were almost at the museum when boys in the back were getting rowdy.

"Haha, that teacher is such a sagging old faggot."

"More like maggot."

"She should go do herself."

"What a loser - "

" - Hey, remember that exchange student Mandy? She was damn ugly."

"Haha! Oh, and you know who should do who?"

And then, in the loudest voice possible he blared out to the whole bus, "She and the bus driver!"

Yes, the bus driver was a corpulent man with a large, sweaty auburn mustache and blue piggy eyes. Most students laughed aloud, raucously. The boys now had everyone's attention and the bus fell awkwardly silent.

"And Sakura should be with Kiba!"

"Really? She always like that Sasuke guy."

I sat up, craning my neck - Sakura was in the near back with a cross face on. Her cheeks were pink all the way to her hairline. She folded her arms and stared out the window, scowling.

I felt sorry for her.

A boy with brown hair turned to point at me. Face flushed, I slouched down again, making myself small once more.

There were a few inaudible whisperes in the back.

Then, "Oi, Hinata! Sasuke wants to fuck you!"

I pushed my head against the window. Right on cue the bus encountered a pothole on the road and there was a loud, agonizing crack of my head meetting metal. _Ouch, there goes my brain cells..._

"Um...ow?" I muttered under my breath, and dared to take a peek at Mr. Calm and Stoic.

His face wasn't red like mine, but it was a pale deathly white. He stared ahead with a certain resiliency in his eyes. I could see his hands clench. The boys in the back made comments. Thankfully no one mentioned me any more.

**X**xxxxx

We arrived in the museum in a blast of frigid air and hung our jackets on wooden racks. A man with a clean, shaven face guided us to the art rooms. "I'm Mr. Stacosa," he smiled, "I'll be your guide today."

I stepped deliberately in the front. I didn't want to see anyone from the back. We were met with a huge portrait of a man with bright eyes and long hair. I thought of Neji and started grinning.

"This is the founder of Konoha," explained the guide proudly. "He's - "

"I wanna be just like him!" burst out an over-excited Naruto. He rushed to the front. "Don't I look like him?!"

"...Uh, no?" the crowd ventured.

And so it went on like that. Finally after lunch, we traveled...to La Shoppe Expressique. Gift shop.

There was everything and anything related to art _and_ some things definitely not related. - Calligraphy sets, books, maps, drawings, autograhs, a medley of jewelry, nortebooks, pens, even hairties! - purses, chairs, baskets, lamps, magnets, postcards, shirts -

We oohed and aahed. Temari desperately wanted a few earrings and a purple, expensively designed fan. Chiyo _needed_ the hairties, a boy with dark hair bought the calligraphy set.

I didn't purchase anything, but handed out my money to poeple who didn't have enough.

As the students were lining up to pay for the goodies I heard a distinct voice behind me.

"Don't think it's a big deal.

I turned around, meeting coldly affronted eyes. "D-doing what?"

"Giving money away." He had the look of someone haughty, a king perhaps.

"I didn't think it was a big deal..." In my heart I was angry. Who was he to judge?

"It's not." He unfolded his arms and dangled a bracelet in front of me.

I shrieked.

It was an exquisite glass bracelet, see through - _in it were Japanese beetles._

"It won't hurt you."

My curiosty rose, though courage did not. "Uh - I - let me see..." He dropped it into my hand. It felt normal - I was foolish to think any diferently. But the beetles preserved in glass, looked as if they could fly out any moment now...I looked at it slowly, feeling heat behind my eyes.

_Am I going...to...cry?_

"Do you want it?" He fished the bracelet from my hand. I backed away, my nose feeling clogged. _Why is it I'm too damn sentimental..._

"I - I thought you weren't t-talking t-to me anym-more."

"I asked you a question...I want an answer."

I blinked, feeling tears underneath. "M-maybe you should ask Sakura."

"Maybe I should, but I'm asking you."

I half-smiled. "Nnn...y-no..."

"Good." He walked past me, shoulder brushing against mine. "I wasn't going to give it to you, anyway."

**X**xxxxx

"_Pool party?"_

"It's the part of the annual sleepover," answered Temari. "Every year we go here to stay a night and swim in the ocean. The beach is awesome."

"Oh..."

"It's really fun!" she burst out excitedly. "Last year, Naruto was forced to wear a _girl's_ swimsuit! It was so..."

I tuned out. "Yeah..."

"...And they have an awesome shop, too! They sell just the cutest little bikinis. But they're so expensive..."

"Mm hmm..."

She tossed me a towel. "Hurry up! We're almost there."

I felt the delicous tickle of dry and warm sand on my feet. I looked at the vast expanse of blue, blue, blue ocean. It seemed...almost surreal...so _effervescent_. Life was teeming under the sea and seagulls milled above it. Nirvana.

Five minutes later, the paradise turned to hell.

All the girls - excluding me; I'd forgotten to pack a swimsuit - jumped and splashed in the water playing some kind of tag game with the boys. I don't know...it looked fun...but would I have been brave enough anyhow?...

"Hey."

"Uh...um...hi."

He failed to smile, looking indifferent. He wore long sleeves and long shorts. No room for imagination, that was for sure. "I have your cell phone."

"Oh..." I expected him to hand it over with no more words. He hated talking to me, I could feel it in the simmering air waves.

"You don't have a bathing suit." It was a statement.

"No."

"I'll come with you to buy one."

"_What?"_

"You want your cell phone back, don't you?"

"...Of course!"

"Come one, then." He backed away to the entrance, and then stepped inside the door. I followed uncertainly.

"Uh...Sasuke...?"

"Two piece or one piece?"

"Sasuke, I don't think - "

One look in his eyes reminded me of what I'd done. Damn guilt.

"One piece," I decided.

He emerged from the clothing racks with -

"Sasuke, that's a bra."

"It's part of a bathing suit."

"It's one piece, isn't it?"

I satred at him. "You know what I mean!"

He pushed another piece - the bottom part - into my arms. "If you don't like one piece, try a two piece."

"Sasuke - I'm not - "

"Sasuke, Sasuke," he mimicked. He pushed me into the waiting room. "Change or I'm coming in there."

I believed him, of course. With shaking hands I undressed and slipped on the bathing suit. I peeked into the mirror, faking a smile.

Ha...

Haha...

I blushed imagining him seeing me like this. I ripped it off and slipped into my old, comfortable clothes. Sigh of relief.

"Hinata," reminded the voice. "Hurry up."

"You're acting perverted, ya know?" I muttered under my breath. Honestly, honestly? I looked, at highest, average in the bathing suit. But the day when I actually dared to wear it in publiv - even worse, in front of him - would be when hell froze over. Literally.

I'd just have to think of some other way -

"Sasuke!"

"Hm."

"If - if I let you keep the cell phone, I won't have to do this, right?"

A pause.

"No."

"What?"

"I want to see you..." he trailed off deliberately.

"Sasuke - "

"Sasuke, Sasuke!" he imitated again. That made me so annoyed! _Think of something..._ then I saw it.

There were two other changing rooms on my right. They were close to the entrance - I could...Getting on my stomach I wormed under the door to the middle changing, then to the last one.

With any luck he wouldn't notice me slipping out. Quietly I opened the door of the last changing room. It creaked something awful; I winced.

The entrance was so close...I took a deep breath, and then _ran._

I shot to the wall - he couldn't see me at this ninety-degree angle. I inhaled, smiling, and tossed the bathing suit - or lack thereof - onto the shelf, and walked out the door.

I waited outside on the bench, grinning. I'd outsmarted him. Outside he couldn't catch me. Outside he couldn't force me to change.

At least ten mintues passed. I wanteed to see how he was faring...

Damn guilt, I cursed once again, and went inside, blinking in the dark shop.

There he was, only he was sitting down now. His eyes were slightly lidded, and an arm was draped over one knee, tossing up my cell phone with another hand.

"Sasuke."

I saw his eys twitch, his nose flare, saw his mouth grimace.

"H-hi?" I smiled.

He stood up. "You really hate bathing suits, huh?"

I couldn't tell if he was mad or not. "Yeah..."

"I won'der what you're hiding," he mused, eyebrows raised. "Are you a boy or what? Why so ashamed?"

At the word '_boy' _I flushed. "Why _not_ ashamed" I shot back. "Or do you think all the girls want to wear little skimpy clothes in front o you?"

He took a step closer.

I backed away, hearing myself mutter, "Well, sorry about that." I held open the door for him, half-wanting to run away. "C-can I have my cell phone back...?"

"Nope."

If this wasn't Sasuke I would have thought he was mocking me, but...he was...serious. I stopped and faced him. "You know, I'm really not angry with missing a cell phone. It's true."

A corner of his motuh twisted into a sardonic sneer.

"But," I continued, "it's the principal of it all. Blackmail, a bribe."

"Or - " he cut in, eyes flashing, "dressing up to pretend to be someone else."

His mouth tightened, his face grew tense.

He was very...very...angry.

"I'm sorry for that," I ventured, reply unexpectedly soft. I was too awkward to apologize any further. My throat closed.

"I sort of knew," he mumbled, looking away. "But you really had me fooled."

"I'm sorry."

"...I can't say you're forgiven." He picked up the pace until he was purposely trying to get away from me.

I stopped. Friends, possibly?...Or even less.

If we were friends right now...I did want more, though.

The human heart is full of avarive, greed, needing more.

It was a trait of mine I couldn't control.

* * *

**Yes, on the bus, I actually HEARD those comments. (Well, not about Sasuke and Hinata, of course, but I DID hear that line. Blame them.) **

**And also I DID see those bracelets!**

**P.S: Anyone read the book "Eclipse?" I luvva that book!**

**Please review!**

**Edit: 3/23/08.**


	16. Unfortunately

Thank you (english); grazie (italian); gracias (spanish); merci (french); thank ya (Texan); dankon (esperanto); mudo (eton ghana, togo); kiitos (finnish); vinaka (fijian); on jaaraama (fulani ); danke (german); sas efharist (greek); mahalo (hawaiian); takk (icelandic); dalu (igbo); Go raibh maith agaibh (irish gaelic); skanaa-ri (ixcatec) domo arigato (japanese); ookini (shodoshima japan); ar kun (cambodian); yo-twa (karuk); Ná goodoota-ngaa naa ci (nigerian)... (I know, Tori. I know. But whatever. Hahaha!!)

**Thanks to these wonderful people who reviewed in my last chapter...sorry I haven't shown much gratitude before, I suppose, but you guys are my rock! (haha).**

Lacrymosa17 (melancholy!), inspira748 (Helen Melon), PoeticFrenzy (frenzied!), HisaAngel (a she, right? jk!), iLOVEmoney (me too.), dark-emo-gal (I like to sit in my emo-corner), kawaiiitahina123 (aww Itachi!), chocoGONEsushi (...crazy), x.Nanako-chan.x (AWW!), mwth06 (6 is _my_ fav number), biawutnow (yay!), NewRageInc. (very new), Piisa (pizza), NikkiTheHyugaChick (love Neji most!l), winterkaguya (me loves winter).

I just felt like commenting on the pennames...I'm strangely hyper today...(but really! As far as pennames go, BLUE CHRISTMAS?! I must have been having a brain aneurysm then.)

**Now is the next chapter! I cannot believe we've gotten past fifteen - I'm aiming for thirty-forty chapters on the whole! There's slight NejiHina because some people (aka - including myself- one person) who wanted it, so here it is!**

**P.S - LuLu just made a joke there!**

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga **

**Unfortunately**

**X**xxxxx

_Sasuke has a mysterious personality that comes free, no charge, with the chicken-ass hair._

_He's about 5'10._

**X**xxxxx

Night was seeping into the clouds. I was sharing a cabin with Temari, Chiyo, and Aya...after what had been a long winding day with Naruto jumping around like a hyper-active maniac, I was dead tired. As I shut the door I heard a distinct voice yell into the crowd.

"Hinata Hyuuga? Where's she?"

I recognized that voice – it was –

"I'm here!" I called to Neji, throwing open the cabin door. "What?"

He appeared in front of me, his eyes slightly wild. "Oh – " He exhaled, frowning.

"W-wait. Why are _you_ here?!"

"It's important," he muttered. "We've got to go somewhere."

"Why?"

"I said, it's important!" he burst out. He realized and he looked apologetic. "I thought I could do this without blowing up…" he murmured. "I can't explain now."

"N-neji – why?"

"Just come!"

Hurriedly I ran back into the cabin and grabbed my things. As I stepped out Temari shouted after me, "You forgot your – "

"I don't care!" I yelled back. All that mattered now...I didn't know. Confused, I ran after Neji, bag slapping my right leg. It stung.

"Get in," he commanded, pushing me into the back. My toothbrush and a book flew out the car.

"Stop!" I screeched in a daze as he pulled away. The car _vroomed_ and shot forward. "Neji – please – "

We drove in silence, his keen eyes not straying from the road before us, focusing. I leaned forward, my heart drumming, stomach full of butterflies. How can he be so calm at a time like this? I gripped the side door, grabbed onto the latch, for anything -

Without warning the door opened. I'd opened it accidentally.

"Damn it!" he swore, braking hard and whipping around. "Close it!"

I did so, shaking.

We stared at each other, both taciturn. His teeth gritted. "I don't need this now."

"What's happened?" I demanded, searching his face. "What's happened, Neji?"

His eyes left mine. "It's about Hiashi," he reported finally.

"Tell me," I said. "Tell me."

"Something's gone funny with his heart," he said. "He fainted."

I narrowed my eyes, my pulse strangely calm once more. "Drive," I commanded slowly. I sat back. "Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked harshly. "It's not that hard."

He didn't answer but gripped the wheel, turning.

"He's not dead. Just unconscious. Not a big deal," I continued, aching to stop the silence. "Why would you do that? Freak me out? Is it really - "

"Don't talk like this," he said in a low voice.

I stopped, feeling triumphant.

"You make me sick," he said. "Your own _father_."

He braked the car by the sidewalk and stepped out. "Come," he intoned coldly.

**X**xxxxx

I followed Neji outside where it was sleeting. My foot caught onto a tree branch that was slick. I pulled, and my shoe lace untied.

An overly excited nurse asked a few questions, and then told us to wait as she went to check. I took the chair closest to the door. Neji turned around, staring hard at me. This was uncalled for. I rose also. I had grown in the last few weeks - mentally. I wasn't like how I was before. I knew my mind.

"I'm supposed to protect you," he muttered tightly. "I was supposed to protect the whole family. Your family. My mother - " Here he laughed. " - was a drug addict. My reputation went down with hers. Do you realize how lucky you are?"

_No_, I emphasized in my heard. I fought to keep a poker face on.

"And now your father is sick...don't you care? My father died!" he yelled suddenly, his face darkening. "You don't realize what you have until it's gone. You don't know...how...lucky you are..." A few tears slid down his cheeks past his unwavering gaze, unnoticed. Dimly I heard his words but disregarded them, the definitions. They were meaningless...

I studied his mouth, his clenched teeth. He sat down, chest heaving. His face was red. "And now you're so...indifferent..."

Woodenly I walked in front of him, placed two hands on his shoulders. "Neji, Hiashi _isn't_ a father to me," I tried to explain. Almost angrily he brought up a fist and rubbed it across his pale eyes. "And also..I don't _need_ protection. I can fight...I _can. _I am not trying to be brave, Neji...I don't know how you feel...And I'm sorry."

"Uh...Neji Hyuuga?" a voice came from the hall way.

His head snapped back up. For once he wasn't that lively, quick-footed young man who was intelligent and had a way with words. He seemed so much older...

Finally he rose tiredly. "Let's go," he said. "Let's go." I did not say anything. I just held on to his arm tightly.

We were led to a bright plain room. I did not recognize the man who half-sat, half-lay on the bed. His hair was matted and wild and he looked broken and frail.

"Hullo," he managed, smiling weakly.

A sharp thorn of hurt pinched my heart. Thoughts and feelings came hurtling back to me. I was horrified. I did not want to be here.

The nurse settled onto a wooden chair and rattled on about something or the other.

I just stood there, terrified beyond words. Time crawled, stopped, and slugged on...

Presently the nurse stopped and politely and exited the room.

"How do you do?" inquired my father. He coughed into his hand politely, but it was clearly restrained.

I shrank to Neji. His jaw was set in a grim line. "We're good," he said quietly.

"Y...you seem appre...apprehensive. Another cough. "Don't tell...tell me that Hinata can't speak for huh...herself?"

"No.." Neji said. "No; how are you feeling?"

A cough. My father's voice ran through my mind in an answer; "I'm feelin' fiy-yi-yine!" I had a crazy urge to laugh but swallowed instead. "Good. Fine." The tone became sharp. "I've still got twenty years in this body, you hear? Don't w...worry." I felt a hand stray to my shoulder reassuringly. My knees felt weak. Numb.

"I'll be fine," he wheezed again in a thin voice, his lips twisting.

I desired to scream, express myself. _I don't want you to be fine I want you to die to die to die! Die, you damned- ! I can't call you father...I can't!_

There was an abrupt knock on the door. The nurse poked her head in. "Hiashi Hyuuga needs his sleep," she explained sincerely. The hand tightened so much on my shoulder I feared it would snap to the bone.

I looked down onto the floor, Neji behind me. We stepped out the room. He shut the door.

His face was dead white, his eyes burning. Once again I could not feel anything, any emotion. I touched his face, his hands. They were cold and shaking. _Why does this hurt him so much? Is this like a twisted flashback, deja-vu, a nightmare?..._

Not Neji...

I wanted desperately to make his fears obliterated, to erase all his pain. All I could do was hug that empty, empty, shell of what was..what was and not is.

My previous fears, my whole seeming _life_ - jealousies with Sakura, arguments with Sasuke...seemed so..._diminutive._

This was true, genuine pain...the way he shivered so uncontrollably...

_Not Neji..._

* * *

**Now for the fun! POLLS!!**

**a) Ultimate question! NejiHina or SasuHina? NOT from your opinion, or others', or mine for that matter, but from this story. (Personally? I'm leaning towards the NejiHina).**

**b) Should I reply to reviews? I know I haven't done so lately, but...**

**c) There'll be four holidays I will list - but I will write only about two of them. Pick two from below...**

**-Valentine's Day (Which was today!!)**

**-Christmas**

**-April Fools'**

**-White Day (in which the boy gives the girl candy, or the other way around. I'm not very sure.)**

**Last note, I have a new story called Serendipity :) It's my first time writing a super-serious fanfic. Summary is as follows:**

Before Sasuke leaves, Sakura is presented with a choice that may change everything. To turn back time. To that point when the snake attacked him...she may twist time so it was not he had the curse mark, but she. SasuSaku.

**Also, please check out: Prank War: Spring by inspira748. She worked extremely hard on this. Summary as follows:**

A oneshot! A romantic comedy about stupid dorm assignments turned into revenge turned into **PRANK** **WAR**! A real way to brighten up your day and lol! Many pairings! You know you want to read this! And please review! Laughter, love, and friendship...

**Once again T'ANKS! I _promise_ longer chapters. I would have updated tomorrow but I decided I've procrastinated too long...sorry about that, too...**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	17. Unrestrained :::Emotions:::

_I have traveled across the universe through years to find her. Sometimes going all the way is just a start_...

_- Unknown_

**I am Hinata Hyuuga **

**Unrestrained**

**X**xxxxx

_Sakura has the complimentary bubble gum hair._

_She's about 5'5._

**X**xxxxx

When we arrived at my house Neji dropped me off and sped away. I watched until his red car was only a speck in the distance. I was alone now, the dusk setting in. Slowly I made my way up the drive, feeling apprehensive and scared. My breath was ragged, my hands balled up. Stiffly I opened the door and walked upstairs.

"Hinata! You're home?" Hanabi emerged from the doorway merrily. I acknowledged her with a watery smile. She held out two shopping bags.

"I won the lead part of the dance!" she exclaimed, cheeks flushed. I couldn't even remember being that happy. "I went shopping with my friends..." She trailed off uncertainly. "Uh...what's wrong?"

If I were to stand here any longer I knew, inevitably, I would burst in to tears. There were raging emotions and anger inside of me. I wanted independence, alone...

"Nothing."

"Um...I bought something for you..." She tried to make eye contact; I looked down purposefully. She held out a journal with an embossed black cover. I took it.

"Thanks." Honestly I couldn't care less. I shut the door behind me. When finally got to my bed I rested into its comfort, tears seeping out.

I awoke five hours later. It was very late...I remember when it was time for sleep at the field trip...all that seemed so, so long ago. Now it was at least three o'clock.

I read the digital clock - three thirty nine. The clouds covered the moon completely, giving the room a ghostly appearance. I reached and fumbled, turning the lamp on. There lay the journal, right beside it, like a forbidden closed door. Almost curiously I flipped through the page. Plain lines. Just the way I liked it.

Taking a pencil and rubbing a quick hand across my eyes I started to write.

_December 23_

_I feel like I'm about to explode..._

**Sasuke**

"Hurry up and carry your luggage!" commanded the principal through an amplifier. The voice echoed around the cabins.

Right after breakfast, most students were loudly yawning. I exited my cabin with one duffel bag.

"Jeez," complained Naruto. "I have so much stuff to carry!"

Shikamaru and Chouji were next. Their two luggage apiece contrasted sharply with Naruto's nine.

"How did I ever carry all of this here?" he grumbled.

Tsunade's voice blared again. "Do not forget anything!"

"Aw, go check, Naruto. You're the last one," threw Chouji lazily over his shoulder.

"Dammit!"

He returned a few seconds later, huffing. "Here's a cell phone that's too girly to be mine."

I recognized it immediately. "Give it here," I ordered.

"Is it yours?"

I nodded, impatient.

"It's so girly," he muttered good-naturedly, handing it to me. I stuffed it into my pocket. I'd forgotten to give it back to her...or she'd forgotten about it altogether.

The buses started loading.

Beside me, Naruto fell face-flat under a pile of luggage.

**Hinata**

I had vocabulary due tomorrow, but I was procrastinating. I lay stomach-down on my bed, ignoring Karu's calls of 'lunch,' not having any appetite, any sensation for any thing. I threw the notebook across the floor.

Presently I heard the car come in. I rolled off my bed and opened the door as footsteps reached the top step.

"Hi..."

Neji was faced away from me. "Hello," he said shortly.

Something was wrong...he was holding hand to his face "Neji...Turn around."

"Don't you _dare_ try that tone of voice," he hissed.

"Neji - turn around, dammit!" It wasn't right - what was he trying to hide - I shoved him to the wall, banging his elbow against the door. Blood dripped through his fingers. I shrank away, horrified. "Where have you been - "

"Just leave me the fucking hell alone!" He pushed me back and slammed the door.

_Oh, wow. What a - _Fuming, I paced the room. My eyes caught on to the black journal once more. I tore it to page two and started to write. The pages were stained with his blood. It had left marks on my clothing.

**X**xxxxx

That night at dinner Neji locked himself in his room.

Karu threw me a Look across the fried chicken. "Did you two get into a fight?"

I laughed. Surprisingly it sounded normal. And deceitful. "No...we're alright as chicken."

"The chicken's burned," Hanabi pointed out unhelpfully.

**X**xxxxx

"I think it's a Paramecium."

"No. Definitely Euglena."

"Or...Amoeba?" added Naruto. He, Sasuke, Sakura and I were working together on a science experiment the next day.

Just then eardrums popped - "VOCAB DUE!" shrieked the teacher. The schedule had changed for the second marking period. My last period was now science.

"VOCAB DUE!" Gai roared again. "DUE DATE FOR VOCAB IS TODAY - "

"Excuse me, sir," cut in a voice. All of us - _all of us_ - (no one interrupted the teacher. Ever. Especially when he was screaming at the top of his lungs.) - looked up.

In front of the classroom stood a thin and pretty girl with glasses. She wore the custom girl's uniform...it actually looked good, appearing on her. In spite of everything, my heart clenched in jealousy.

"Hi, ev-er-y-one! My name's Ka-rin. Same accent as ho-ney."

The class blinked.

"I'm an actress, and I get a lot of money."

The class raised their eyebrows (except for Gaara).

"Mainly I do commercials, but I also got a part in a movie once!"

The class all shifted to the right.

"Um..."

The class mooed - okay, not really.

I nearly jumped wen Sakura spoke out. "Did you play in the commercial with the white dog?" Around us students were murmuring.

"Yeah!" spoke up Naruto. "You look exactly like her!"

I swallowed. She was extremely pretty, with tumbling black hair. Her sharp glasses accentuated her wide, smiling mouth.

"She can work in our group! " added Sakura. Obviously she wanted to ask about acting and commercials.

"Only four in a group. There' a threesome over there," pointed out Gai. Some classmates giggled at the second meaning. The trio was Gaara and two other boys. I didn't know them.

Karin pouted. "I want to work _with them_." She pointed at my group. All of a sudden I wanted to know how Sasuke was reacting to all this. Furtively I glanced at him - He was looking at Karin with a half smile on his lips.

I plummeted.

What_? It's not like he never smiled at you before._

_Actually_...

"Hey, Hinata!" interrupted the sharp voice of the pink-haired - "Go over to that table."

_Excuse me_?!

"Um...Karin wants to work with us," said Naruto, his eyes begging.

_What the hell_? I could not believe this. I was aware of the gazes at me. Even Sasuke's. I had no choice. If I refused I'd look rude, bad.

"Sure," I said stiffly, picking up my books. I hated the new girl already.

Oh and Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke. Sort of.

"Hi. I'm Torres."

"And I'm Tyrres. We are - "

Then, together - "Twins."

"How can we - "

" - help you?"

I glanced at Gaara, who was unperturbed. "Uh..."

"They get on my nerves, too. Here." He pushed the microscope over to me. "What is it?" Three-fourths of the work was already finished, from the lab sheet. His handwriting was neat, very clean. The twins hadn't appeared to have done anything.

Maybe I'd had the wrong impression about Gaara...

"It's an...onion skin..."

"Mm hm."

And so it went on like that. But in the corner of my eye I watched my old group.

**X**xxxxx

_Notes passed during science-_

**Hey, Sasuke! Didn't know you'd be here! -smooch-**

Be quiet. You know perfectly well. Why did you transfer?

**That's not nice. I AM your girlfriend.**

_Was._

**No - _is_. It's not my fault my damn mother got a job somewhere else half a year ago! But now we have enough money, and we've moved back :) So I'm still your girlfriend, since technically we ever broke up.**

Where do you live.

**Oh, changing the subject, hmm? I can see your smirk. Btw, did I change any? Looks-wise? Hmm?**

Truthfully...yes.

**I love it when you're all honest.**

Just answer the question.

**Okay...I live at Watertown Pike.**

**Why so silent**?

Doesn't...she live there too?

**The who?**

The girl I'm facing.

**Oh , you mean those pale eyes and ugly hair? And no figure, too. Thin, though.**

...I suppose she's the one you're referring to.

**Why? Do you like her? She lives near _me?_ She must be pretty rich, then. Where do you live?!**

Sharingan St.

**- Wait - you skipped my first question! Do you like her?**

To put it, we've had a history.

**Really? Like what? You're making me curious, honey.**

Lay off. She's an actress.

**AN ACTRESS? HER? Who in their right mind would fire HER?! And what do you mean a 'history'?!**

She's an actress...

**Oh, so? Like she fooled you with her acting or whatever?**

**Really?**

**Sasuke, honey..that's sad.**

**WAIT; you still didn't answer the first question!**

Which one.

**Do you like her? Oh, damn There's the bell. See ya, honey!**

**X**xxxxx

**Hinata**

Dinner finally ended; I dumped out my tray and followed the line where it would diverge into several paths to the dorms. I fished out my key and entered it into the lock. Sasuke was already in the room.

When he saw me he held out his hand.

It was the cell phone, slightly battered. I imagined that was because I'd thrown it at him that time.

I took it. "Thank you."

"Hn."

I sat on my bed, watching him. It seemed he had little or no interest in anything besides guitar music. Eventually he stopped and set down the paper. And spoke; "What do you think about the new girl?"

"Um..." Inwardly I'd already stereotyped her as a snob and a two-faced brat. - One of my bad habits of first impressions. But why not say the truth about what I honestly felt?

I told him.

His eyebrows rose. "She doesn't think of you as much more either," he said in an undertone.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Never mind." Briskly he felt around in his pockets. He looked and spotted the object.

My cell phone.

If Sasuke could look embarrassed he would appear was he was now...

"Ah. I'm used to carrying it around, "he muttered.

"Sasuke - what did you mean? Do you know her...?"

He looked at me. "Y - "

There was a brief knock on the door. I jumped up and opened it, my eyes widening. There stood Tsunade and the new girl. Karin. Gritting my teeth at the unexpected intervene I forced a quick polite smile to the principal.

She said, "Karin and you will be sharing a room."

I felt Sasuke walk up to me.

"What?" I asked in a dazed tone. "You mean - with us?"

Karin smiled flirtatiously at Sasuke.

"No," Tsunade answered. "Just with you. Let me explain," she added, although I showed a sign of cutting in.

"There were an exactly even amount of people before Karin arrived. The dorms are all supposed to be - " Here she inclined her head to the side - "not co-ed. That is the policy of Konoha Boarding School. Sasuke, Hinata...you two shared a room because of two reasons. One, Hinata, you previously acted as Neji Hyuuga as part of your practice, correct?

Two, there were no more rooms available then. They were under construction."

My breath seemed to be stuck in my throat.

"Now the extra rooms are refurnished and complete. Sasuke, you will take your things and move into G112." She handed him two keys.

_Huh?!_ The world seemed to swirl around the edges. _What the hell?! _I gripped the edge of the bed post. Karin and me? Sharing a dorm? I couldn't imagine...agh...

Sasuke gathered his bags and nodded to me. I was too confused to say goodbye. _So...this is...it?! So fast...so soon?_ Another footstep, and then he had walked past me. _Gone._

As he walked by Karin I saw him smirk, or imagined him to, anyway.

Distantly I heard her purr, "Until next time, honey."

Hell had returned and was hungry to keep me as a prisoner.

* * *

**For the holidays, I will definitely choose White Day! And either Christmas or April Fools'...I think the latter.**

**Aww sorry around the cliffie but I know that you've missed them. It was all your wonderful reviews that motivated me to update!!**

**Thank you!!**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	18. Schizophrenia: Hereditary and Contagious

**I am Hinata Hyuuga **

**Schizophrenia: Hereditary and Contagious**

**X**xxxxx

_Neji has the beautiful, "manly" brown hair._

_He's about 5'10._

**X**xxxxx

Spending? A...night? With? Karin?

The thought made me sick. Strangely I wanted to burst into laughter. _No way!_ I threw down my cell phone and ran out the room after Tsunade and Sasuke, not thinking. _I can't spend one second with that girl._

The truth was, though, I was jealous. Easily, I suppose.

I was thin, unattractive. Rich. She was so full of life, bubbling with energy, smiling. It was no wonder my science group chose her over me. This was no conundrum.

I turned the corner and saw only Sasuke ahead. He stopped and glanced at me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." I felt foolish. "Saying...goodbye?"

"There's no need." I think he smiled faintly. "It's not like I won't see you tomorrow. And I gave you back your cell phone, correct?"

"Yes."

"Then goodbye." He half-waved as the King (or Queen) would, a cupped hand facing me.

I looked on with a feeling of discomfort. I had known him for rather a long time...considering the short time I had stayed at each place before I went to Konoha. And now...it was as if he were changing. As if everyone were changing.

Except, not me.

When he disappeared in the corner I turned back around, heading to my room. It was a Thursday...of course I would have to spend the night here. With Karin.

With all these acts from these months, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to act.

To act would be pretending to be nice, smile.

I couldn't.

Genuinely I despised acting. Taking a deep breath I slipped into my hallway and hesitated before I knocked on my door. Hah.

She called, "Come in."

I did so. She was laying on her bed, already half-asleep. I crawled into my own, grateful for her silence.

Grateful for mine.

**X**xxxxx

Friday to Monday passed in one big, hazy blur. I was completely on autopilot the whole time, smiling as an idiot would, making only small, unnecessary talk. I never said one word to Sasuke or Karin. I noticed they seemed to enjoy eachother's company. They seemed so _compatible_. She brought sunlight into his life.

And then there was Neji. On Tuesday afternoon I expected him to pick me up. We weren't on friendly terms but we weren't exactly enemies. In the past few days I tiptoed around him cautiously.

I never spoke to him, either.

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga

Subject: Don't be.

Uhm, Neji…please don't be mad. I know you just ran off first thing in the morning to your basketball clinic. I know you're avoiding me.

Please…

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga

Subject: no subject

Never mind. That last message was really stupid. I'm sorry for everything, okay?

…Plus…you're supposed to pick me up…I understand if you can't, or won't. I'll call Karu.

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga

Subject: no subject

Karu's cell phone is closed. Please come.

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga

Subject: Hurry

Look, Neji. I can't walk. Now. I've been waiting for TWENTY MINUTES. In the dead of February. Please.

I don't know what happened that time you were bleeding. You can tell me. Did you get into a fight?

Now.

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: BlondeTails

Subject: SOS

Temari? Yes, sadly, I'm still waiting at the school. Um…if it's not too much trouble, can you drive me home? Or…someone?

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga

Subject: no subject

You really hate me, huh? I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Agh, I hate to beg.

**X**xxxxx

From: BlondeTails

To: HHyuuga

Subject: Failed protocol

Sorry, girl. I'm in the middle of a wedding. Lol. Not mine, of course! My aunt's. We're supposed to stay silent. But I was dying from boredom so I'm texting.

As for a ride, you know I'm everywhere. I practically see everything, know all the school's gossip. As for sending messages…

Uzumaki: RamenHead25

Haruno: xCherryBudx

Uchiha: Uchiha (he doesn't have much imagination, does he)

Nara: Clouds51

Akimichi: BarbeQ

Any more? If you need any help I'll try, but the wedding's taking a damn long time.

**X**xxxxx

From: HHyuuga

To: NHyuuga, BlondeTails

Subject: I'm stupid.

I'm stupid. I'll just walk home. It's no big deal. Sorry for acting so spoiled. It's just thirty minutes. Thanks for your help, though. (Temari.)

**X**xxxxx

With chattering lips and shaking hands I slipped the cell phone back into my pocket. I was right – I _was_ too damn spoiled for my own good.

_What's a walk?_ I chastened myself. _You're making a fucking big deal out of this stupid thing._ Who cared about Neji? About help?

I could do this myself.

I forced a leg, a foot, a step, one more, three more. Ice was everywhere; I walked on the grass, shivering. The weather was clearly below negative ten.

I could hardly feel my feet from the inside of my shoes. Wind slashed at my face, but I was too numb to care.

Forty five minutes later I arrived at my house. Snow caked my hat and I had dropped my mittens somewhere.

_Knock, knock._

Someone, I prayed. The door opened. Neji let me in wordlessly, shutting the door. I shook off my shoes and shook the snow out of them. He turned to go back upstairs, a shawl comfortably draped about his shoulders.

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-neji," I chattered. "D-d-did you g-g-g-g-g-get my m-messages?"

I saw him nod.

Angrily I wrenched off my dripping hat, my limbs slowly turning back to life. I bounded up the stairs, two at a time. "W-w-why d-d-didn't you – "

"I didn't feel like it," he said, his back still facing me.

Of course I was mad. I had every right. "Y-you – "

"Don't start on me." Then he added, after a slight pause, "I have a life too, you know. You can't expect the whole world to circle around you."

"N-n-no – I d-didn't!" I snapped. The accusation stung, for it was, even if partially, true. "Y-y-you won't even p-p-p-pick me up – "

"I had Tenten to drive home."

I stared at his unmoving figure. "W-w-well, she w-w-wasn't stuck outs-s-side l-like me."

"I don't care," he said. It was detached, emotionless. "You know, when I first met you, I actually liked you."

I sharply inhaled.

"You were happy and content. You had all the money in the world, you were happy. But then – " I saw his fist clench. " – You were often moody. You pondered over the smallest things. You could dress up to be anyone you wanted. Nervous. Highstrung. Spoiled."

I tried to interject but then he turned around, and I saw his expression.

"I hate people like you. They do nothing. They own everything. They can _do_ anything. And get away with it. That episode with what's his face – Sasuke – I feel for him. I do. He must be stuck in a room with a bratty – " He muttered a quick curse under his breath. " – most days in a week. You like him. I feel sorry for him."

He turned around and shut the door.

On Wednesday I woke early, about seven. Tiptoeing downstairs, I heard a slight noise in the kitchen. It was Neji. I blurted out the first thing on my mind.

"Why?" I asked him. I was shaking. "I hate people who criticize me. I'm not perfect, dang it!"

He just looked at me with the glass of orange juice in his hands. Quietly he set it down next to a pile of scrambled eggs and toast. Neji didn't drink orange juice. He hated the pulp. It was for me. He was preparing breakfast...

This didn't make any sense.

I stormed over to him, my temper dominating. My patience broke so long ago. Hurt came back in one huge wave, bottled up long before today. For one second I wanted to cry, break down, throw myself into his - anyone's - arms.

But instead I strode over to him and poured the orange juice down the sink. I threw the glass onto the floor in the heat of my rage.

It was all too quick, too guilt-free.

I stared into his white face and brushed past him. "I - I'm tired of this," I said. "You know _fuck_ about me."

I couldn't stand his eyes. Finally showing emotion. Hurt.

I ran upstairs, slamming the door in my wake. I could not escape the perpetual sound of breaking glass from my head.

No...it was true. I coldn't stand this anymore. But it wasn't him. I blamed myself.

His gace...shock, reognition...hurt. I had caused tha hurt, and of may other's, too. I was a damnable, tainted person.

I wished I were someone else. Anyone else...

**X**xxxxx

_"Niichan, those flowers are so pretty!"_

_"They're daffodils. Want one, Hinata?"_

_I laughed and toddled over to pick one, slipping into the dirt. "N-niichan," I cried, horrified. "I'm dirty!"_

_"Here. I'll help you." He offered me his hand, smiling._

_I scrambled up, but my weight pulled him down. He landed in the dirt, surprised and distinctly undignified. I remembered I shrieked with giggles._

_My hands were dirty as well._

_"You're nothing but trouble," he grumbled._

_"Hey, no fair! It's not my fault." I poked him in the forehead, and there appeared a spot of dirt._

_He wrinkled his nose. "...You!" He rubbed a hand on my clothes._

_"Wah!" I grabbed small fistfuls of dirt and ground it into his face. "Take that, Nn..."_

_He stopped, eyeing me curiously. "Ne-ji?"_

_"Nuh-ji!"_

_"...No..."_

_"Nuh-ji! Nuh-ji Nuh-ji Nuh-ji!" I stood up gleefully. "Nuh-ji!"_

_He rolled his eyes and stood up._

_I sccreeched with lauhgter. His bottom was imprinted with dirt._

**X**xxxxx

I went to a therapist the next day. I could not continue living like this. Thursday was a school day but I didn't want to see either Sasuke or Karin. None of my classmates, incidentally.

I entered the small, brilliantly lit room, and sat down. There was a bunch of white carnations at the windowsill.

"Hinata Hyuuga?"

"Yes. Yes, that's me."

"I'm Dr. Anderson." She extended a hand which I quickly shook. "Now, tell me what's wrong." It smelled vaguely of hyacinths.

"I don't know how to put this...A few months ago my cousin arrived. I haven't seen him in several years. On the same day my father arrived. He walked out when I was a little girl."

"Wow. That must have been a stressful day." She leaned in.

"Yeah...and - " I paused awkwardly. "Our family emphasizes pure bood throughout the generations. My father wants me to marry him."

"Your cousin?"

"Y-yes. Neji." It felt strange to utter his name.

"Hmm...many families do this. Are you pressured because of this arranged marriage?"

"I - not really. The truth is," I confessed, "I haven't thought about it for a long time. And a few days ago my father passed out in public, and Neji freaked out. It's because...his own father died. To be honest, though - I didn't really care if my father died."

"Maybe because he is hardly a father figure to you."

"But it doesn't matter. Doesn't that make me a bad person?"

"One can't change the way one truly feels."

"Th-that's true...this week - I mean yesterday I woke up and went downstairs." I blurted out whatever I had on my mind. "Neji was - he was - preparing breakfast...But I...I threw the glass onto the floor and went back upstairs. I...slammed the door. Life is fucked up," I finished anti-climatically. I fingered my shirt, picked off lint.

"Do you feel guilty?" I nodded. "The best thing is for you two to cool off. When everything is over, apologize."

"Tha-that's hard."

"Trust me. It will see much easier when it's over."

"He hates me."

Sh acknowledged this with a gentle nod. "Maybe so, but over time, everything may heal."

"I love him. I - I mean - as a friend." Hurriedly I added, "He's a good friend. Great, actually. He's truly one of the best people I've ever met in my life. And I feel...apprehensive at the marriage. It's threatening me now, I know it. I - I don't know what to feel, though."

"Go slowly into the relationship."

"Dr. Anderson, thank you." My fifteen-minute appointment was over. I was confused with her advice, my mind spinning.

"You're welcome. If you need anything else, come back."

"O-okay. Thank you," I repeated. Having nothing else to say, I left.

_Cool off...cool off...and then apologize..._

I entered the house quietly, thoughts running through my head.

_So...does that mean I have to ignore him? Or...what?_

"Hinata!" I heard a loud, urgent voice.

Hanabi ran downstairs with a phone in her hand. Her hair was dripping wet. "It's your principal. She sounds...mad."

I took the phone. My fingers trembled. "Uh...hello?"

"Ms. Hyuuga!" snapped Tsunade. "Where on earth have you been?"

"I...uh..."

"You didn't write us a note, or give us a call. It's Thursday! You're supposed to be right here, right now!"

"...Yeah..."

"What's your excuse?" Her voice crackled with static.

"My excuse?" I repeated stupidly.

"No excuse? Ms. Hyuuga, this classifies as cutting school."

"Oh..."

"Come to school right this instant, young lady! You better hurry it up!"

"Wa - " Slam went the phone. Ouch.

* * *

**Ooo...I'm so _bad_ at writing arguments...urgh.**

**Also, I would write more - much more - but the computer's acting up. Sorry...**

**Next chapter: Hiashi sends a letter and there's an auction!**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	19. Hell Auction

**I am Hinata Hyuuga**

**Hell Auction  
**

**X**xxxxx

_Hanabi has long, eye-covering hair that's slightly wavy._

_She's about 4'11._

**X**xxxxx

_Dear Hinata;_

_You may have been wondering how I was faring at the hospital. Please come visit, it would do my health a world of good._

_I've written to apologize._

_Looking back, I know I haven't been a father to you. For that, I am sorry._

_If you come visit, many confusions will be cleared up. The blessing for your marriage is merely a blessing. Perhaps..._

**X**xxxxx

And that had been it. No 'Hiashi Hyuuga'. Nothing else. It was written on an ornate piece of pale manila stationary, the expensive, finely made kinds.

I threw the letter away without further thought.

These days, Neji was away on a basketball thing. Because of my utter stupid personality, simply, I missed him. In spite of everything...

The speaker sizzled to life on the sweltering Monday morning. You heard right. _Sweltering_.

Apparently the weather forecasters had (of course) been proven wrong (naturally) and had guessed it would be all snow, sleet, and ice. The weather fairy poofed up a few clouds and amazing sunny weather.

In the beginning of March.

"Attention, students!"

Even through the speaker I could hear Tsunade banging her cup of tea on the table to emphasize importance.

"Attention, attention! Auctions are today! Parents are welcome to attend! If you need to call a parent, there is a phone in the office. Feel welcome to use it.

Last year this auction took place marvelously. Let's hope for the same this year!" Then she tried to add vigor to her voice. It didn't work. "Show school spirit by participating!"

I sat, intensely curious.

_Auction? Auction...I never knew..._

"I can't wait!" squealed a brunette who sat just in front of me.

"I'm betting on Sasuke! He's, like, the only hot guy!"

"Not true not true! The pineapple dude is too cool! Did you, like, _see_ his hands?"

"Uh, eww, Miki, what do _hands _have to do with it?"

A hush of giggling, then,

"Um _hello_ - they're what he _touches_ you with."

Too. Sick.

"Boys and girls! Votes for auctioning the guys will take place in the hallway next to room B104! The top five boys to receive the most votes participate in the auction. Form a line, now, don't just squeeze through..."

The crowd surged forward, leaving the teacher trampled into dust.

Before me revealed a long chart of all the male students. Girls hyperventilated, shoving eachother. I managed to squeeze past a particularly ferocious one with a nose ring.

Hmm...

Uh...

Eep?

I took the pencil. Beside me, ten girls practically radiated, _Hurry up or I'll kill you!_

I sighed and quickly crossed off five random boys from the list. I had no say in this; I wasn't going to take place in the auction, anyway.

A waste of money, if anyone asked me...

When I threw backward glance to see what guys I _had_ chosen, the crowd swallowed me up. Oh well. Not my loss.

"The Konoha Boarding School will now start the annual auction! This auction raises funds to help the school and its quality. Our school has participated in this auction for more than thirty years..."

And on and on and on.

"...the girl who "buys" the boy (all the boys grimaced simultaneously) can take "control" of him for two days..."

I was getting sick of the words "participate" and "auction."

"Why, I remember when I was a little girl, just like the many girls that are sitting out there right now (all of us females winced simultaneously) and my teammate was chosen. No one wanted him...he was a tall man with unruly white hair...at the end, I finally felt sorry and bought him...he was my slave for two days straight!

It was awes - "

"Um, Tsunade?" interrupted her assistant. "Shouldn't we start the bidding? It's nearly three o'clock."

"Oh." She snapped back (threateningly) to her old self. "Hurry up! Number One! Naruto Uzumaki! Start the bidding!"

"Fifty!"

"Fifty-two!" screamed out a girl with two ponytails.

"Seventy-nine!"

Then a huge giggle, "Eighty!"

Tsunade stopped as the calling stopped. "Eighty?" she asked. "Going once...twice...SOL - - - "

"Eighty dollars and one cent!"

In front of me, Temari laughed slightly. "Everyone always tries to make the auction longer," she whispered.

I nodded. A feeling of apprehension stirred in my stomach.

"Naruto Uzumaki...SOL - - -"

"Eighty dollars and two cents!"

It went on like that, cent by cent, until Tsunade glared at all of us, menacingly. She slashed a palm across her throat. (We all knew what that meant).

"Naruto Uzumaki," she intoned loudly, making a few students quail in their seats, "SOLD for eighty dollars and fifty-five cents!"

He was ushered down to a girl with purple highlights in his hair. To say he looked miserable would be saying the Atlantic ocean was wet...he was _devastated._ Throwing a backwards, longing glance at Sakura...

I felt for him. I flashed a look of sympathy in his direction as he was pulled (literally, dragged) away.

"Shikamaru Nara!"

"Hundred!"

"Two hundred!"

"Three hundred!"

"Four hundred!"

Simple and clean, sold for four hundred dollars to Temari. At least _he_ was happy, out of all the guys, right?

"Gaara Sabaku!"

"Five!"

"Fifty!"

"Oh yeah? Five HUNDRED!"

"SIX hundred!"

"NO - you - freaking - don't! SIX TEN!"

Tsunade was practically bent on leaning over. "Six ten?" she asked. "Is that all?"

"Seven hundred and fifty!" screeched a girl with red, flaming hair.

"Eight hundred and fifty!"

"Eight _million!"_

"_Nine million!"_

_"Ten million!"_

_"Eleven million!"_

_"Thirty hundred thousand million gazillion trillion zillion pillion!"_

Basically, to make a long story short, both of these girls only had thirty dollars.

Tsunade was furious.

"Gaara Sabaku! Again! I will not tolerate any lying! Any more forms of this kind of behavior, and the student will be suspended!

Now, Gaara Sabaku!"

(By this time he looked rather miserable).

"Fifty!"

"One hundred!"

"Five hundred!"

"Six thousand!"

And he was sold to the girl with five grand of braces and five metal rings.

"Chouji Akimichi!"

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

(And, well, you get the idea.)

"No one?" Tsunade, for once, looked deflated. She glanced at Chouji, who was wallowing in self-pity.

My mouth moved of its own accord.

_Oh Kami oh Kami don't let me be doing this - _

"Ten dollars!" I said desperately. I reached into my pocket and handed out two five dollar bills. Running up to the stage had its side effects.

Include:

Nausea, heart pain...dizziness to all the stares. By the time I reached the stage my knees were a piddling pile of jello.

"Chouji Akimichi, SOLD for ten dollars!"

Chouji, sweating and trying not to look too horrified, followed me. Horrified? Yes...poor poor him. To be sold to the weird girl. Me.

"And last, but not least, Sasuke Uchiha!!" (Is it just me, or did Tsunade scream this with much more zest? MUCH more.)

The calls went flying.

"FIVE HUNDRED!"

"SIX HUNDRED!"

"SEVEN HUNDRED!"

"EIGHT HUNDRED!"

By this time, both Ino and Sakura were deflated.

"NINE HUNDRED!"

TEN HUNDRED!"

("That's a thousand, you idiot!")

I yawned and covered my ears.

"ELEVEN HUNDRED!"

"TWELVE HUNDRED!"

"TWELVE HUNDRED THOUSAND!"

Silence met that. Finally Tsunade, with her cheeks gleaming with tears, reached over to collect the money. She looked extremely happy for all that money.

Sasuke was herded off the stage. He looked as cold as ever, but his right eye was twitching.

More sympathetic glances were passed. He stared over at me. I gave a start.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun," purred the same voice. It echoed around the gym.

No.

No...

Oh, no.

Not...

_Karin._

Instinctively my fists balled up. I failed to notice even Chouji who sat next to me. My eyes were filled with a red, confused, angry haze.

_I can't believe this..._

* * *

**End of Chapter Nineteen. **

**Review happy author happy reviewer happy fanfiction happy review...and so on.**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	20. Hinata No More

**This chapter - all four thousand words of it - were deleted. I was horrified. So I had to retype the whole damn thing.**

* * *

_Set me free, why doncha, babe?  
Get out my life, why doncha, babe?  
'Cause you don't really need me,  
But you keep me hanging on..._

_Why don't you get out of my life  
And let me make a brand new start?_

**Hinata No Longer**

**X**xxxxx

The term bilingual is used to illustrate a number of useful terms. Two languages. Many possibilities, supposedly.

Right now Chouji Akimichi's two were:

Language One: Mute

Language Two: Making sharp intakes of breath.

With the crowd seeping out I snapped back to reality. I had Chouji "legitimately" for two days straight. For ten dollars. Whcih left me only one thing left to do.

"You're free."

"Huh?" He blinked.

"You're. Free."

Two dimples simultaneously appeared on his swirly cheeks as he processed my words. "H-hinata! If you really mean it - "

"I do." Heck, this was - this was - _troublesome. _

"Can I really? Please?"

"Then - go."

He peered a me, slightly wary. "But what about those ten dollars?"

"Tsunade's going wild at the slots?" I hazarded a guess.

Unexpectedly he laughed. "Um...you're right..."

Awkward silence. This didn't make my top five best moments. I shifted uncomfortably to the right. We were the only two students left now, in the immense auditorium. My words echoed. "Uhm, if it doesn't bother you...I have to go..."

"So...I'm free?" His chubby face looked anxious. "Are you sure I shouldn't stick around any longer?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Then I added, as an afterthought, "You can't really do much for me, anyway."

A look of hurt flashed across his face like a yellow neon sign. Instantly I felt ashamed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"I - I know."

"So..."

Awkward silence yet again. Then, hesitantly, he asked, "Aren't you lonely? You always...look so alone in class."

All of a sudden I felt sorrow. _He's right._

"L-listen, Chouji." I stumbled over my words, "I - I really have to go now - "

Even his freckles were dismayed. "Are you sure I can't do anything fro you?"

"No...you can't..." I tore my gaze longingly off the exit and back to him. The words came out softly. "I don't tihnk _anyone_ could help me right now. My life is too messed up. What can you do?"

He thought for a moment. Then gave the most shocking answer I'd ever heard.

"Well, I make a mean barbecue sauce."

The letter that came in the mailbox was wrapped in gold paper.

Curiously Neji ran a slim hand over it. _It's...real gold?!_

He opened it. His jaw tightened.

I stared at Chouji. "Uh, barbecue sauce?"

"Yup!"

"Barbecue sauce?" I echoed weakly. I laughed, but it was feeble. "Um, Chouji...?"

"Come with me," he said, perking up instantly.

I shook my head, but he was already out the door.

I sighed. (I did feel sorry for him. Out of the billion people with ovaries on the planet, he had to be stuck with yours truly.)

When we reached his room - two hallways away from mine - he unlocked it and slipped inside.

After a few seconds Chouji reached out an arm and dropped a ginormous, two feet bottle of barbecue sauce into my "waiting arms."

I am not even kidding.

He gave me a toothy grin. "Thanks, Hinata, for buying me and everything."

"Uh, y-you're welcome?" I turned around to my room, examining the bottle. It had dark brown cloring that read, "Akimichi's Special Sauce since 1989."

The heaviness, the packed _density_ of what was inside provoked my stomach to start churning.

Barbecue sauce, huh? Must have cost a pretty penny for an Akimichi _Specialty_. Or, in their case, a pretty big effort.

The bottle was huge, my stomach and appetite were shrinking rapidly. _Well , maybe, it'll have its uses later_, I thought, throwing it onto my bed.

**X**xxxxx

I hoisted my book bag and traversed to the library to study, having nothing else better todo.

Being an Auction Day, Tsunade had, with tears in her earnest amber eyes, declared we were to take the rest of the Monday off. (And, then SHE took her day off too. I'm guessing the slots.)

The students? Most likely they were all bunched up together flirting and everything.

I pulled up a small, comfy chair, and ook out my math textbook.

It was quiet. Serence, even. Calm, tranquil. Students rarely visited the library, and the librarian was busy cataloging books.

Peace. Calmness. The scrit-scrat of my pencil was silenced as I stared up at the great, transparent ceiling. Beautiful.

_I could...get used to _this_ kind of life. So different from my own..._

Happily I studied for three more hours. When it got too dark to read the words I stowed the books away. There was a smile on my face. I hadn't smiled for days.

The loud, alarming sound of rushing high heels reached the hallway. Someone slammed open the library door. A hard task, especially considering the door was oak and wide.

_What?_

It was Shizune. "Hinata!" she cried between huge gasps. "I've searched everwhere for you!"

"Wh-what?" The tranquility of the atmosphere disappeared instantly. I stood against stark naked reality. _Damn_.

She fumbled with her pockets, then drew out a letter. It was embossed with gold, crinkling slightly. "This - this - sent from - " Gasp, gasp -"Neji H-hyuuga."

Immediately I took it. "Neji?" I said worriedly.

"H-hai."

"O-okay." I glanced down, bewildered. Why would Neji send me the time of the day, much less a letter? It was altogether too confusing.

"It's improtant," she breathed out. "Please, Ms, Hyuuga - if there's anything I can do for you - "

"No," I replied, still confused. "Nothing.

She stood there, as if not knowing how to move.

"Um, thank you." I slipped politely past her, my heart thudding with a strange sort of excitement. My fingers crinkled the fine gold paper.

Now out of the white, thick walls of the library, I heard loud, raucous students from the cafeteria, laughing. Everyone was there...

I didn't know why, but I decided to step in. No one paid any attention. As always. My eyes sought out the dark raven hair. For some reason, I neeed him. For some reason, a surge of sadness flowed to my heart. For some reason...

He sat next to Karin. I saw his slight smile, his quick, affirmative nod. My heart punched my chest.

All feelings of jealousy, strangely, _evaporated,_ everything was _crystal-clear..._

I didn't know why, but...I felt...forgiveness. I felt forgiven...

_Whty do I feel, though, like I need...protection?_

I stumbled to his table. Eyes widened, saw me. I made a motion to smile; conversation was regained and they all went back to their usual chatter.

_This...this is...this is..._

I looked down, realizing with a start that I still held the letter. I clutched it tightly, and opened it.

_This...this person...this _thing_ I have become...who am I?_ The question burst in my head. Startled, I nearly dropped the letter.

My fingers ripped the gold paper. No one took notice. I shook all over, not knowing why. _Something...is going to..._

Then I scanned the heading, and I felt a reasonable burst of anger.

_Hello, Hinata, my daughter._

I made a choking sound and motion to rip the paper when the next words caught my eye.

_If you have received this letter, my dear daughter, then it is already too late. I have passed onto the afterlife. But first, I must tell you a few very important details._

I froze, dropping the envelope.

My hands were shaking.

I forced myself to look at it.

**X**xxxxx

_I suppose there shall be no further lies. I should tell you._

_You and Neji are not officially engaged. This was to secure and to test our family bonds. I hope you are still companions. Being the kind of person I am, I tested our relations. Understand, please._

_My fortune is bestowed to you, Neji, Hanabi. You may do whatever you wish to it. You received the most out of all of them. Though I did not act the part, I favored you. You were everything a father could hope for. You were everything I could hope for. You are smart and talented and clever. I hope you will follow your ambitions and become an actress._

_I...I am a dastardly fool...I am a coward. Forgive me, Hinata. Please. If, after all these years, you finally forgive me, my soul will be set free. Right now it is mixed in bitterness. _

_But for now, I write my will. Here. On my deathbed._

_I love you, my daughter. Forgive me._

_Your father,_

_Hiashi Hyuuga_

**X**xxxxx

Without realizing it I had crushed the paper in my hands. I ripped it savagely, clawing it, clenching my teeth. The world blurred as my tears blockaded my vision.

"Nnnoo...no!"

_You are smart and talented and clever. You were everything a father could hope for. _

_**You were everything I could hope for.**_

I couldn't hear, couldn't see. Tears fell thick and fast. I opened my mouth but the words just wouldn't escape.No sounds. Immobile.

_For now, I write my will. On my deathbed. _**_I love you, my daughter_.**

He had forgiven me. But I hadn't forgiven him.

**_I love you, my daugher._**

"No!" I exploded. Anguished, I balled up the paper. It left marks gold on my palms. It burned my essence.

_"Nnnoo!"_

_You were everything a father could hope for. You were everything I could hope for. _

_YOU WERE EVERYTHING I COULD HOPE FOR...MY DAUGHTER..._

NNOO!!" I screamed.

_This isn't me! This isn't me! This is not true, an act. I've been acting the entire time! He's not dead he is not dead is not dead!_

_It can't be!_

**_You were everything I could hope for..._**

_"Nnnooo..."_

My head hit something sharp and my mind swam. I trembled.

_I loved you, my daughter..._

Hands gripped my shoulders. "Hinata!" I heard. The voice was low and urgent. "Hinata! Snap out of it!"

_This isn't me..._I slid gratefully into enveloping darkness.

_This isn't me._

_But how long have I been gone?_

In my dreams I saw something. A flicker of light. Image.

_He's dead, _came the voice, high and keening, and I understood. _He's dead. It's over. Forget about the past. Start over. Act Like you got over it. It's worth it, to act, to pretend. Act like you got over it._

_Forget. Forget._

_Forget._

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

Numbly I followed the light. _Forget,_ it chanted, and I felt myself nod.

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

**X**xxxxx

_Will you forget?_

**X**xxxxx

_...Yes._

**X**xxxxx

I opened my eyes; I felt my cheeks wet with tears. Something loomed over; my vision was hazy.

"Sasuke," I recognized. My voice was a croak. He moved away almost hastily.

"Y-you're fine."

I sat up. "Of course I'm fine." I forced a smile. "I've never been finer."

He stared at me.

The smile was strained now but I kept at it. "I'm fine, Sasuke."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." I reached over, pulled a flower from a vase.

_Forget._

"Hinata, what's wrong?" I felt his seaching, piercing gaze. "What was in that letter? What's - "

"_Nothing!_" I snapped. I stopped, wide-eyed. "Nothing," I tried again, even managing a small smile.

_Act._

He fell silence, scrutinizing me. Always.

Of their own accord, my hand reached above the stem and picked off a petal.

He watched me.

One by one, I ripped of all the petals. " 'S for Neji," I murmured. "This one's Sasuke. Naruto. Sakura. Hanabi."

Fianlly I tore the stem in two.

_And this is for forgetting all of them._

I let out a soft cry of alarm; thorns pierced deep into my fingertips. Beads of blood spring out.

He gave a muted moan of exasperation. "Hinata - "

"Rose. Rose."

" - you're - " He stopped.

"It was a rose," I repeated. I saw the petals, gleaming like bloodstains on my covers. "Roses."

Then, "The rose did this to me."

He came over, wrapped my finger in a napkin. "Do you want me to call the nurse?"

"No! I - I'm okay."

_Forget...act like...you're okay..._

He smoothed my hair. "You're been asleep for two days."

"I'm fine. I'm fine."

A lock of my hair was twirled between his fingers. He bent down to my eye-level. "You're not fine," he whispered. I don't know what happened, but it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay - "

"I _am_ okay!" I said, slapping his hand awaay. I'll get over this. I_ am_ over this. I - I - I don't need you, Sasuke. You can leave me alone, you know. I'm not some little kid."

_Forget...forget..._

"Hinata - why are you acting like this?" He tried to make eye contact but I glared down determinedly. "Hinata. What the fuck happened? Why the hell are you acting like this?!"

"I was never _unlike_ this, Sasuke."

What the hell?" he growled impatiently, standing up once more. His gaze met mine, locked into mine. "Where did you put Hinata? The Hinata _I_ knew! - confident, sassy, brilliant. Always up for a challenge. Where the hell is she?!" His temper, never long-suffering, was visibly beginning to fray.

"I don't know, Sasuke," I said earnestly. "Please...leave me. Alone."

_Forget him._

"Why are you acting like this?!"

"Sasuke, I'm not acting."

"Stop saying my name!" he shouted, still confused. "I don't understand - "

_Forget._

"I never asked you to understand." My voice trembled. I forced it calm. "Leave me be."

"Look, I - "

"What do you want? I said to leave me be. If you want anything, Sasuke, spit it out. I want to be alone. Alone. Alone. Leave me alone. Go away. Please."

"Why the hell - "

_Forget him! Hurry._

An idea surfaced. "Sasuke, search in the uniform." I pointed resolutely to the coat rack. "Search there. Right pocket."

Gritting his teeth, he did so. He drew out a cell phone. My cell phone. His.

"Keep it."

He did not respond.

"I wish to forget, Sasuke. I want to forget Konoha. I want to forgot all the mistakes Hinata made. Little, weak, stumbling, stammering Hinata Hyuuga." I laughed harshly. I want to forget _you_."

I stood up, letting the blankets fall to the bed, revealing a thin, flowing white hospital gown.

He stared at me as if I were crazy.

"Go now...I don't want you here. I don't want to remember you anymore."

_He caused you pain. Forget him. Forget this past and its mistakes._

His mouth opened. "Please - let's just - "

I pushed him out. "Goodbye, Sasuke."

_That's right. Say goodbye to him. To everyone. Forget. Here. Now._

After a few moments I heard his footsteps receding down the hall.

I did not cry. I did not feel anything.

_Forget. Forget._

Smling slightly, I shed the hospital gown and donned my regular clothes.

_Forget._

**X**xxxxx

I returned to my room. Karin was at her desk painting her nails a bright, purple hue. The only thing I took was my journal. Then my gaze caught on to the barbecue sauce.

Without hesitating I took hold of it and twisted the cap open. I strode over to Karin.

Her mouth flew open. "What are you - "

"Goodbye, Karin, "I answered. I squeezed the contents of the bottle all over her. I ignored her squeals of rage.

She screamed. My foot crushed the bottle onto the floor.

_Say goodbye to her. Don't look back._

**X**xxxxx

Tsunade was at her desk when I entered her office. She looked up, dark bags outlining her eyes. "Hello, Hinata."

I smiled, the same smile. "Can I call Neji?"

A flash of surprised entered her feature. "O - of course." She stood up. "You must understand though, Hinata, this has been a terrible ordeal for you. Terrible," she emphasized.

"If there's anything I can do for you, Hinata..." Her gaze was sympathetic.

I purposefully looked away and picked up the telephone, and dialed.

"Hi. Hyuuga residence."

"Hi! Neji, it's me."

His voice was astonished. "H-hinata?"

"Yes."

Then, "Are you fine? Are you okay? Hinata, if there's anything I can do for you - "

I was sick of that line._ If you leave, you can forget all these people._ "No, Neji. There's nothing. I'm fine, you know? It was a shock..."

"Oh." He fell into a worried sort of silence.

"Neji, can you pick me up?"

"Right away. A-anything else?"

"No. Nothing." _Except to forget..._ I dropped the phone back into its cradle.

_Forget Konoha. Forget..._

I nodded.

_Leave this place..._

A thought flashed. _Why didn't I think of this before? _I wondered idly, and then made my decision.

"Tsunade, I have...just one request to make."

She looked up in shock. "Of course, Hinata. Sure. What?"

"...Withdraw me from this school."

She was surprised, but not impossibly so. Sadness crossed her features. "I understand, Hinata. When I was young, two people very close to me died. I'm sorry. I understand. The strain, the ultimate..._stress_ death gives you. I will withdraw you from Konoha Boarding School immediately."

Something clicked in satisfaction. _Good. Forget..._

She hesitated. "A-are you sure, Hinata? Are you positive you want to withdraw? What...what about your friends? Saying goodbyes?"

I turned away. "I've already said them," I said quietly.

**X**xxxxx

I confronted Karu at the dinner table. "Karu, I'm leaving today. To Sunagakure. I've decided to become an actress." No one moved, so I added, "I have enough money from my father's will. I'll use that money for the airplane trip. It's a lot of money, so I should be able to get a private airplane. Today."

Three pairs of eyes were trained on me. I ignored them all.

Then I heard the loud bang of a bowl connecting with the table. Neji pushed away his chair, his hair hiding his counetnance. His rapid footsteps trailed upstairs.

Karu looked at me, stunned. "Of course, Hinata. I - if that's the way you feel. If you just want to get away from this mess for a few days..."

"I don't mean a few days." There was a choked sob from Hanabi. "I mean...well, years." I gave a short laugh. And I continued to smile.

Silence reigned. Then Karu finally said, "I'll consent."

I nodded.

Number three.

Hanabi stared at me, speechless. Her tears overflowed to the table, to her soaked napkin. Her fists were weakly clenched, her shoulders heaving with sobs.

She pushed back her chair and ran off. I still heard her sobs. I saw splattered tears on the kitchen tiles.

_That's right. Forget them all. Leave them behind._

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I replied. "Neji will drive me to the airport. There's still plenty of time. It's only five thirty."

Karu paused, looking indecisive. "I - I hope you're still not serious about this, Hinata."

"I am."

"I - if you're sure..." He held his arms out. "Goodbye..." I hugged him. He was much thinner, it seemed, so much more fragile. His hair was mangled.

_Forget him._

"Are you - are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I paused. "Goodbye, Karu. One more thing." The cold wind outside was biting at my cheeks. "Please don't watch me go. I have to...remove myself completely from Konoha. It's been too much for me. Please go back inside, Karu."

"G-goodbye. You'll visit."

"Of course."

_Anything for him to go. Lie. Kill. Murder. Just hurry and go. Forget this past._

I opened the door, where Neji was waiting. Wordlessly he started the engine and the car moved. I saw his face in the mirror, white. Nervous. I saw the grim set of his jaw. Like my father.

Suddenly I couldn't breath. T_his is...I can't do this! I don't want to move from Konoha. I - I love Konoha._

Choking, I clamped a hand over my mouth. _Nnoo...must forget. Too much - sadness._

I sat up, my chest heaving. I felt nauseous. But back in control.

_Forget this place. Hurry...forget._

The loudspeaker blared, announcing a plane number that would arrive in ten minutes. My plane. I rushed toward the gateway. Neji followed, close behind.

I reached the station. Five more minutes.

_Soon. Soon you will get away._

An iron hand gripped my shoulder. The plane ticket was removed from my hand.

Startled, I turned around. I started to protest. "Neji - "

"Don't go." His gaze met mine seriously, and he bent down, his eyes locked into my eyes.

Then I heard it, so clear, so concise. _Forget him._

I started to smile. _convince him._ "I'm going, Neji. I'm sorry. But I'm going."

"Don't go." His voice was strained now. His lips met my cheek. Cold. So cold. "Please don't go. I - " His voice was rushed now. "I'm sorry for the damnable way I treated you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I've got to, Neji..." Deftly I twisted and wrenched the ticket from his grasp. I was ready to turn around, but he pressed closer.

"Stay," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Hinata. I keep thinking...it's my fault. I'm sorry...Stay..."

"I'm _not_," I retorted, feeling triumphant. _Go._ The corner of my eye found the clock. Two more minutes._ Go! Hurry! Forget him - go!_

I felt his lips trace my jawbone. His mouth opened. "Please...don't leave." His lips met mine, softly, then urgently.

My mind was swimming. Suddenly I felt traces of my old self. My knees felt weak.

_LEAVE! GO! DO NOT - DO NOT MIND HIM. FORGET HIM. LEAVE!_

"Stay," Neji whispered. His hand was at the small of my back, supporting me.

Time stopped. For that instant, time ceased to exist.

_Stay or go?_

_Stay or go?_

_Stay...or...go?_

Then everything disappeared - it was so clear - easy - I made the choice.

_Leave him. Leave Konoha._

My palm met his cheek angrily. He moved away, stunned. His eyes met mine for a split second.

Too late. It was too late.

_I will leave._

I turned away. As I crossed the gateway I read the clock. Seven o'clock. Esxactly seven o'clock. Right on the dot.

_I will leave._

I stepped. Another step. Away from Neji. Away from Konoha.

_Forget it all._

I stepped, leaving Hinata Hyuuga far behind me.

* * *

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	21. Chapter I : Arisa Voce

**Luckily, or unluckily, I have a plan set in mind. A plot, you could say (btw, Gaara's gonna show up). But all new ideas are welcome, yeah, even nasty yukky flames.**

**Well, since we've come so far, I wouldn't want to stop writing there. Sequels, I noticed (fifty percent or so) tend to be not as good as the story before, so I decided to continue. Oh, and this story will go, ah, massive, lotsa, revision...**

**And also, the pairing, _I have decided_, is... (: on bottom :)**

**Ah, well, on to the story!!**

* * *

**I am Hinata Hyuuga **

**(Part Two)**

**I: Arisa Voce**

_Forget. Forget. Forget. She'd done that. She'd forgotten._

I was on a date. I wore a busty red chiffon dress and had pinned my hair up. Now the hair swayed slightly as I took my seat opposite.

Mikio was at the other end of the small wood table, cande light flickering over his face. He had heavy dark bags underneath his sleepy eyes and a lazy posture. As he saw me he made an effort to sit up.

He wanted me for money, and this third date just proved it all the more.

I saw the little black box half-in, half-out of his jacket pocket There was an engagement ring in there, I knew.

Time to end this.

I leaned over, smiled deliberately, feigning innocence. "I don't want to rush into things, Mr. Keyo."

His heavy-lidded eyes blinked. "Please, call me Mikio. Rushing? Arisa, you know how I feel about you." He parted his mouth, smiled. The air before me smelled suddenly of fish.

"I don't think I'm ready," I countered. I had rehearsed this. "I don't want to be engaged or married yet. I'm young. Only twenty."

"Marry? Who said married?" Beads of perspiration dotted his thick bushy brows.

"I meant what I said." Reaching over, my hand met his. He carressed it.

"Arisa, let's talk this over - "

I sunk my crescent-shaped thumbnail into the folds of his flabby skin. He gave a whimper of pain.

"When I say no, I mean no." I blew him a kiss, stepped purposefully on the tip of his highly polished shoe, and swept out of the restaurant. The lights flickered dimly on the roof of my car.

In my bedroom at home, I bit down my lip to keep from crying. Another relationship biting the dust. It was too hard to maintain a friendship and simply impossible for love.

I couldn't find _him_. Mr. Right. Something nagged me, but I brushed the thoughts away.

For I was a small, trembling girl no longer - not a highschooler, not some dropout, but an actress.

Arisa.

Arisa Voce.

**X**xxxxx

I smiled serenely into the audience, my hands clasped.

"Number seven; begin."

I walked to the front and shoved the microphone aside, ignoring raised eyebrows. There was no need for a microphone.

_A-u-a-u-ah, a-u-a-u-ah! And I love you, miss you; we're together beautifically, but it's useless, I'll never be the one you want. It's hopeless... _

I collapsed on the ground for effect. In the story, Maylu was fainting. There was a rustling of papers as the judges whispered.

"Number eight; begin."

But I knew, instinctively, I'd get chosen.

**X**xxxxx

It's been like that for three years now. Acting is second nature, in different famous plays. Did I say three? I meant four. Not that it mattered. I planned on living in Sunagakure for acting. The rest of my life.

It's worked out quite well.

**X**xxxxx

A week later, the letter arrived in the mail announcing I had received the main part. I smiled. So I'd be Maylu, the ditzy heroine who was tragically in love with her friend's lover, and etc, cliche, etc.

It _was_ crap. It _was_ shit.

Better be the actress I knew than the person I didn't.

**X**xxxxx

_Miss Arisa Voce, **(1)**_

_Congratulations! You have received the part "Maylu" in our famous award-winning play, "Sunshine Falls Anew." Rehearsals begin next week..._

**X**xxxxx

It went on quite a while, decribing who got other parts, and the monetary gains.

I set down the letter on the table, not bothering to read the rest of it.

One more time to act.

Be anyone but myself.

**X**xxxxx

"Cut!" howled the judge, who seemed on the verge of tears.

"Sooooooooooo be-yoootiful! Arise, you've got it down!" He turned towards the other girls. "Nice job on jealousy. Keea, Seig, Keijo, Satski, all of you - Jai, Karina, Miaki, we will do just - " He struggled to find anothe adjective, failing miserably - "_beyooootifully_ next week!"

Claps of approval. Scattered claps.

"Well, be proud and break a leg for our performance!"

**X**xxxxx

I sat after a long bath at my petite desk. I stared at the window. Shadows lanced across the lawn - like photo negatives. This was my house, my tiny, but confortable house. Secluded, maybe, but I wasn't livinng as a hermit.

The Internet loaded. I clicked mail.

**X**xxxxx

**-From: CraZyActress; Keea W-**

**-To: ArisaV; Arisa Voce - SatskiGurl; Satski Sovune - KeijoM; Keijo Machiro - HSeih; Seih Hake - KarinaLi32; Karina Li - MiSh; Miaka Shirano-**

**Hi, guys! Just emailing to say good luck! It's been so fun to get to know all you guys! I can't believe the performance is next week! AGH!**

**Lol. Anyway, good luck! See ya all in Konoha!**

**--Keea Watake**

**X**xxxxx

I froze. _See you in Konoha. _**_See you in Konoha_.**

No...no...

Instantly my hands clamped over my ears in a protective way. I squeezed my eyes closed, forcing myself to take slow breaths.

It could not be.

She had made a mistake.

I tore downstairs to check the letter that I had dismissed months ago.

**X**xxxxx

_Miss Arisa Voce,_

_Congratulations! You have received the part "Maylu" in our famous award-winning play, "Sunshine Falls Anew." Rehearsals begin next week..._

**X**xxxxx

I scanned it quickly, frantically.

**X**xxxxx

_...Because of its large population, Konoha will host us in our play, "Sunshine Falls Anew."_

_Good luck to all. I look forward to meeting and practicing with all of you._

_Hikaru Takami_

_Manager_

**X**xxxxx

My heart thudded. I gulped down two aspirins and resolved to check my eyesight.

_It can't be...it's totally impossible I would miss something huge like this..._

**X**xxxxx

_Day before performance-_

She vomited her lunch into the washbowl, grimacing. "No...damn! Damn! Not on the day before the..." Before she could continue it felt as if her forehead was split into two.

But she managed to crawl to the computer.

**X**xxxxx

_-To: TakamiH; Hikaru Takami-_

_-From: SatskiGurl; Satski Sovune-_

_cant go 2 play tomorr. vey sick. sry bye_

**X**xxxxx

The manager rubbed his temples. "Withdrawing just before the play? This - this is..._terrible_..."

A noise interrupted his contemplations. The telephone had began ringing.

He picked it up with a spark of hope. Maybe Satski had gotten better?

"Manager!" It was Arisa. "Is it true we're going to Konoha for the performance?"

The tilt, the arrogance, and irritated lilt of her voice was capturing and perfect.

"It's true," he confirmed. "What - "

"I'm not going!" The lead actress was filled with indignance.

This was both unexpected and unreasonable. The manager's patience was low. "No," he declared calmly. "Satski has just emailed. She's sick. I am not risking another actress. Please don't call again, Ms. Voce."

He placed down the phone and massaged his temples once more.

* * *

The day of the play. Oh, the tears. The sweat. The joy. The passion.

All acting.

I arrived at the building where all twenty three actors and singers were lined up to take a posh and expensive bus.

To Konoha. _To Konoha_.

Impossible. I clenched my fists tightly, approaching the manager. _To Konoha...but not if I could help it. Never. Never again. Fuck no._

"I said before," I said in a cool, detached tone, "I am not going. To...K-konoha." It was so difficult to say just the name.

"You're going," he bit out. "You're the best actress we have. You are _not_ going away _now_. It's too hard to find an actress who has enough experience to replace you. Hell, it was hard enough to find a substitue for Satsku! And she's not as nearly talented as you!"

He jabbed a finger towards me. "You've acted and practiced this play for nearly five months. Almost half a year. You're definitely going."

_I hate people telling me what to say._ _I'm not weak._

"Look," I said coldly. "I _can_ act the part. Just _not in Konoha_."

"No," he emphasized again. "No. I've worked - we've all worked - too hard in this play. We can't give up now. There's an audience waiting in Konoha. I'm sorry. But you. Are. Going."

If I could kill him...

I wouldn't let memories consume me. I had forgotten them all. I'd tasted- what was it again? love? possibly - and it had hurt me. Hurt me greatly.

Love. Hate. Bonds.

...Death.

_Forget_...

No one would recognize me. All for the better. I had grown out my hair and on stage required inches of makeup.

_So what am I afraid of?_

The location,a s we arrived, I saw, wasn't anything like the place where I had once lived.

It was more urban-like, with towering buildings and muddy sidewalks.

No.

I would not need to worry.

**X**xxxxx

With ten more minutes before the play actually began, I was dressed in my idyllic spring green dress, my hair slightly curled. My face had makeup covered so the audience could clearly see my expression.

I stepped to backstage, where the manager was fixing some small things. He caught my gaze and motioned me over.

He must have short term memory loss. Or he was a sycophant, sucking up to me.

"Guys" he said urgently, his voice hushed and earnest. "Here's the actress who will be replacing Satski. I'm very lucky to have found her."

I gave her a once over; deep black hair, large doe eyes. She was smiling with excitement and had a pair of glasses in one well-manicured hand.

"Everyone, meet Karin."

* * *

**_(1) _**Arisa is like "Arisaema". Which is a toxic plant. Voce is from sotto voce, an Italian word literally meaning "undertone".

**I'm sure it's not that clear - the plot is confusing, but it has been four years. I'm sorry for the length! I just felt like trying the four year timeskip. The next chapters will be longer.**

**Oh, and yeah, the - _THE_ - pairing I mentioned at the top?**

**Um, SasuHina. I'm sorry if you didn't get what you wanted. But I love SasuHina! (Guess who Neji's with).**

**I know it seems too early to update, but I wanted to update. If I didn't update today I would have basically no time to in the next few days.**

**Edit 3/23/08.**


	22. Chapter 22

I officially allow you to peel your Story Alerts off **I am Hinata Hyuuga** and apply the adhesives to the sequel "**Au Contraire, Madam**."

It's posted.


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